In Retrospect

Within which there's an apocalypse going down and Jason Todd and Tim Drake love each other lots and hate saying goodbye. Whoops.

Rated R for language and upsetting scenes.


3. Say You'll Remember Me

**I wrote this in the last three hours and it's currently 2AM, so don't judge me. I had a lot of feelings I needed to express.

I listened to 'Wildest Dreams' by Taylor Swift the whole time I was writing this. You'll probably notice. Wtf is wrong with me?**

"Jason..." Tim's smiling weakly. Why is he smiling? The stupid kid! He shouldn't be smiling. He's got a hole the size of - well, the size of a hole that shouldn't be in any human - in his abdomen. With just a pathetic scrap of pulled-tight, tied material keeping pressure there and holding a tiny amount of blood in his body. The arm that's slung around Jason's shoulders has become redundant now, as Jason's own forearm is the only thing holding up Tim's weight.

"Yeah? Yes, Timmy, I'm right here. I swear, I won't go." Jason's voice is a low, rushed promise, shaky but certain, as he tugs Tim into a slightly sheltered alleyway. He allows Tim's weight to slide down the brickwork to sit on the rough concrete, kneeling immediately beside him.

"Can you promise me something?" Tim's eyes flutter as he speaks, the strip of blood-soaked material around his waist slipping slightly to allow more blood to seep freely. He winces, as Jason panics, tugging it tighter again.

"Yes, yeah anything, Timbo. Go." Jason's not really listening. He's just panicking and wishing he had any access at all to a first aid kit. Not that it would do any good. He couldn't stitch the hole in his boyfriend's side if he was the most experienced surgeon alive.

"Remember..." Tim's weak, breathy tone grasps Jason's attention back. "When we... The first night we..."

"What?" Jason takes Tim's face in his hands, looking into hooded eyes. "Of course- I couldn't- there's no way I could forget that night, baby."


Jason's heart won't stop racing. What the hell? Why won't his heart stop racing? If he were an average guy, he could say it was the fact he's racing through Gotham, balanced precariously on two wheels. But speeding through the city on his bike is an average night for him. Whatever. He could totally use that excuse. Because he's so not ready to admit the real reason. The fact it's Tim Drake that has his heart beating the shit out of his rib cage. The fact that Tim's arms around his waist as he pulls up to his apartment makes him feel more precarious than any shoot out.

Kicking down the stand and rising from the plush leather, he regretfully feels Tim's warmth pull away from him. Dismounting and removing his helmet, he watches his date do the same. And, fuck, if he isn't entirely mystified. The helmet has left Tim's hair mussed and more than touchable-looking, and the ride has Tim's cheeks a gentle pink as he glances at Jason, eyes bright, lips attempting a very minimal pout. He shrugs off the leather jacket Jason had insisted he wear and hands it to its owner reluctantly, along with the helmet, his blush deepening.

Jason's suddenly tossing the jacket carelessly onto bike, letting the helmet drop to the gravel heavily. He pushes Tim back against the wall of his apartment complex and captures his mouth in a deep, emotive kiss that tells Tim everything he needs to say. You're beautiful. I want you. I don't know how I lived without this. So many things...

His fingers twist into the material of Tim's rose red dress shirt, tugging it out of where it's been tucked neatly into clean, pitch-black skinny jeans. He likes Tim so much better when he’s a little messed up. And though he expected Tim to resist such a public display, the other simply knots his fingers behind Jason's neck and kisses back. It's obvious to both of them that the other has been craving this all night. The classy, overly stuck-up restaurant Tim had suggested for their date really hadn't been the place for it. But now they’re alone. And Tim’s somehow looking ten times cuter with that fucking blush.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Jason growls into Tim's mouth, before frowning at the almost uncomfortable shudder that takes Tim's body. Especially when it's coupled with him turning his face away.

He swallows visibly, perfectly blue eyes blinking up at Jason's expression. "We shouldn't be like this... Bruce would-"

"Screw what Bruce would say." Jason hisses, possibly harsher than he intends.

"Jason..." Tim scolds gently, spiking a little guilt into Jason's heart.

"Nobody needs to know what we have, Timothy..." Jason promises instead, trying 'nice' for once. "This is just me and you. I'm not giving you up just because some people don't approve. I'm not giving you up for anything right now. Not when you taste this perfect."

"Jason..." Tim repeats, but this time it's more of a surprised, shuddering breath of his name.

And then they're kissing again...


"Remember me... Like that..." Tim begs weakly, eyes closing, leading to Jason slapping his cheeks lightly to bring him back to reality.

"No way." Jason forces a smile. "I won't have to remember you like anything. Because you'll be beside me forever. You promised me that. You promised by saying you'd wear this for me..."

The fingers of his one hand entwine with the chain that still hangs from Tim's neck.

"Jay... I'm bleeding out... I'm not... I'm not stupid..." Tim mumbles, far too calmly.

"I dunno, you must be pretty stupid to have agreed to marry me, Drake." Jason ignores the truth in Tim's words and presses his forehead to Tim's, tugging lightly on the chain. He pushes his smile a little more, but the tears stream freely down his cheeks.

"I remember waking up..." Tim murmurs nonsensically, before raising a hand to place over Jason's that remains on his own cheek. "In your... Arms, the next morning..."

This makes Jason bite deeply into his lip to suppress a sob. Because he remembers that too. How could he not?

"Me too, Timmy..."


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