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do you wanna have a bad time? (MASSIVE SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)


6. Of Humans and Creatures

 Sans trudged through Snowdin Forest, his book of jokes tucked tight underneath his arm. He smiled, for his headache had nearly disappeared as he drew closer and closer to the door.

“hey,” he said, rapping a fist to the purple door. “so, i was thinking, and uh, about the human child-”

He stopped knocking, a shudder coursing through him. Shaking, Sans stepped back. He took a shortcut into the forest, not wanting to waste time running.

Of course.

How could he have forgotten? The memories, the headaches, leading up to- it had begun, and it was starting now.

The purple door creaked open, and Sans stared in fascination a small figure walked out from the large door that had been his place to practice so many jokes.

He couldn't see the figure from his hiding place deep in the woods, but he peered around the tree and watched as the human made their way past him, walking through the woods without a second thought, or a hesitation.

Sans trailed behind them, staying out of sight as much as possible. A twig snapped underneath his feet, and Sans immediately teleported back into the safety of the trees. The human didn't even so much as glance back at the broken stick, they simply continued to walk until they reached the end of the path, to the bridge. Sans watched from some distance away as they stopped there, facing the bridge and beyond. Slowly, carefully, he walked up to them, strapping a whoopee cushion to his palm. His grin faded into a more solemn expression as he approached the human.

“Human,” Sans said, deliberately slowing his voice. “Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn-”
The human turned, much sooner than Sans had anticipated. The grasped his hand firmly. Flesh touched bone, and a million thoughts began racing through his head. Thoughts that seemed like memories, memories he couldn't remember.

The whoopee cushion went flat in one quick motion, the sharp noise creating an echo throughout the whole forest.

“heheheheh...” Sans plastered a smile onto his face, forcing himself to laugh. “the... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.”

The human stared at him with cold eyes. They dropped their hand from the skeleton's, and their eyes cast downward as they watched the whoopee cushion fall to the floor, hardly making an indent in the thick snow.

Sans looked down at the whoopee cushion as well, noticing a thin film of dusty powder that covered the surface. His eyes flitted back up to the human's hands. They, too, were covered with the same, yellowish-white dust.

“it's ALWAYS funny.” Sans said, and waited.

The forest was as silent as before.

He coughed into his fist. “erm, that's your cue to laugh,” he whispered loudly. The human shifted their weight slightly, tilting their head as if studying the skeleton.

“I'm... Frisk,” they said slowly, like words were difficult for them.

San's jaw clenched. “hiya, frisk. i'm sans. sans the skeleton,” he said shakily.

Frisk nodded sharply, and turned to march through the gate.
Sans' eyes widened slightly, but he followed them through the gates. “yeah, go right through,” he chattered nervously. “my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone. my bro, papyrus, he's a human hunting fanatic. we're actually supposed to be on watch for h-humans right now, but i don't really care much about that, uh.”

Frisk stopped abruptly, and Sans crashed into their back.

“quick,” Sans said. “behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.”
Frisk simply laughed, making no motion to actually move. “Does it matter?”

“well...” Sans frowned, but didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

“SANS!” Papyrus screamed, walking swiftly up to them. “HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET?!”


“REALLY?” Papyrus said. “WOWIE! GUESS THAT'S SETTLED!” he turned on his heel and quickly walked off, his large boots leaving deep imprints in the snow.

“that worked out, huh?” Sans said. They turned to face him. They stared at him for a long while. Beads of sweat formed on Sans' brow. “Are you just gonna stare at me, or...?”

Frisk's mouth formed a smile, but their eyes remained cold and empty. Then they, too, walked off.

“hey, wait a minute,” Sans said. The creature stopped at the edge of the trees.

“What do you want, Sans?” they spat.

“listen, i'll be straight-forward with you,” he said. “my brother would really like to see a human.

so, y'know, it'd really help me out if you kept pretending to be one.” Humor and threats masked his fear, until it felt almost non-existent. Sans walked away, his skull pounding slightly.

He heard the creature's laughter behind him, shill and maniacal.

It sent chills down his spine.


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