Niall lost everything on horses. I was drawn into this because I was his girlfriend. We were going to lose everything, when he finally asked his best friend Harry Styles for help. Harry was rich and had everything that one could have. It was he who changed everything, but at the same time he just wanted to help, yet I was drawn into something that would be the end of everything I was used to know. I was stuck between two men.


19. the ocean

"I have work to do today!"
I met Harry's gaze immediately when I looked up from my teacup. He sat on the other side of table and we had eaten breakfast. I nodded a little bit. He tried to smile.
"Can you do time without me? I know it's wrong of me to work, but I really have to make some calls today. I'll be done for lunch and then you got me all for yourself."
I tried to smile. I suspected and I realized that he had more important things to take care of, against to just make sure I had a good time.
"It's okay!"
He seemed satisfied.
"There's a path as leads to the ocean and you can go there and swim if you like?"




For once, I felt more like my old self. I put on a bathing suit, brought with me a towel, a book and a deck chair, then I went down to the ocean. I wore a simple dress just not to be naked. It was a big sun in the sky and it almost felt like I was abroad. Somehow, it was nice to get away from Harry, and from all that as we now had. I was breathing and I had to just be me.


It was a large sandy beach. Everywhere there are tourists and families on holiday, or maybe they just wanted to spent a day there. I slid down in the sand and I smiled. For once I felt pretty normal. When I was younger I loved to be by the coast just to swim in the salty water. Somehow, I got that feeling back. That feeling of total freedom and total time off from everything. I put down the sun bed at the edge of the beach and I pulled off my dress. I let the towel lye on the chair and then I peeked toward the water. It was early morning and I sensed that it wasn't warm yet. Therefore, I sat down and before I took up the book, I looked around. Yes, it almost felt like I was on a solo vacation and the only thing I had to worry about was what I would eat for dinner.


I don't know how long I sat and sunbathed. The book was good and all the happy voices made me relax. The sound from the waves, which met the beach, gave me harmony. I felt calmer than in a long time and I almost forgot who I was. It was as if everything just disappeared and I just pondered over what would happen in the book. I wanted to read on.


I didn't notice that the sun disappeared from my body, not until the shadow covered my face and someone was standing right in front of me. Slowly, I let my eyes drift from the book and it took me a while to get the eyes to get used to what I really saw.
He just stood there and stared at me. I noticed quickly that he was wearing dirty clothes, as had seen better days. He was unshaven and his hair stood on all sides and edges. He hadn't even colored his hair. It almost looked as if he had seriously only bleached the tips of hair and nothing more.
Nialls voice was hoarse and almost on the border with inaudible. He just stood there, as if he thought no one took any notice of him.
I didn't know what to say. I put the book down and I thought about what I would do next. He slid down on his knees, still ahead of me.
"Please talk to me." he whispered quickly. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long and I just want you to listen."
I frowned.
"You mean when Harry's away you're not going to threatening me?"
He sighed.
"I just do what I need and actually I have the right to say what I think. I hate him and I hate the thought that you are with him, but that's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here then?"
He hesitated. He took his hand through his hair and he seemed almost nervous.
"Money!" he mumbled. Direct I understood and I rolled my eyes.
"Please, Niall, I ..."
He silenced me by holding up his hand.
"No, I don't ask you for money, but it's money I need. I made the mistake of spending money again, but what would I do when you disappeared? I lost the desire to try."
Actually I don't trust him or believe in his words.
"You began long before I left you," I managed to say. "When I was in the apartment you really proved that you will never get back to be the old Niall."
He almost growled.
"But you left me?"
I nodded and I was sure what I thought about that matter.
"Just because you repeatedly fail me."
He become silent and he looked down into the sand. I noticed how dark his scalp really was. I had only been with that Niall who really cared about the blond color. This was just another man.
"But I can change myself?"
I disagreed with him. Equally sure as that feeling was, I also knew that I still felt something for him. If only he had tightened up, I actually had gone back to him, but not as long as he behaved in this way.
"You can't even change clothes by your self." I whispered hoarsely. "Niall, forget all about me, and try instead to find back to life."
He looked up at me with an angry face.
"Not without you!"
I rolled my eyes again.
"Well, I'm not going back. If you had tightened up after Harry had given you the money, I would have chosen you, but not as it is now."
"Do he bother you?"
Direct both of us reacted and I saw Harry in the sand. He came to the chair and he looked straight at Niall with cold eyes.
"No!" I replied, because Niall had only wanted to talk to me. Niall was now stiff all over and quickly he stood up.
"I just want to talk to her."
Harry didn't liked neither Niall nor the fact that he had been given that opportunity to talk to me.
"Let her be." he growled cold and he then stood between me and Niall. I sat still in the sun bed, because I sensed that they hadn't listened to me anyway.
"I'll go!" Niall mumbled cold and hoarse. "But to let you know that I will always be waiting for her. I'm not going to give up and...."
Harry took a threatening step toward him, so he backed off.
"You leave us in peace." he growled. "Otherwise, I'll call the police and I promise you they can put you under lock before you have time to breathe."
Niall snorted. I heard he was trying to be tough, but deep down he was afraid.
"And you have that power?"
Harry smiled cold towards him and he nodded.
"Yes, I have contacts everywhere Niall and you know that."
Niall swallowed and he hesitated. Then he looked at me again, quickly and uncertain.
"I'll call you, sweetie!"
He turned on his heel and left us.




"You can't never talk to him again!"
I had never seen Harry angry and now I was almost afraid of him. He pushed me up against the wall inside the house and he was so close that I saw the seriousness in his face.
"He just wanted to talk."
Harry growled and he grabbed my jaw, hard, with the hand.
"No, you can't talk to him. Not never again!"
I was about to cry.
"Okay, I promise."
He released my jaw and he backed angrily some steps back.
"Don't you understand that he wants to destroy all this as we have?"
Well, I understood that. I wasn't a dumb blonde girl, and I knew what Niall wanted. I took up my hand and felt over my own jaw. It hurt. Harry saw it and immediately became his eyes softened.
"Sorry!" he muttered hoarsely. He came up to me again and caught up gently my face with both hands. "I was just so scared when I saw him. I didn't mean to take it out over you."
The first tear came from my eye.
"You don't trust me?"
He frowned and he let the thumb catch the tear.
"Well, I trust you, but I don't trust him."
I couldn't stop to feel small and depressed. More tears came and in the end I sobbed.
"Harry, my jaw hurts."
Directly he released my face. I saw compassion in his eyes and it was perhaps now as he realized he had hurt me? He held me and he hugged me.
"Sorry!" he whispered hoarsely in my ear. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
I knew he was telling the truth, but something inside me told me that he could be worse against me, if he became angrier.
"Do you beat all your girlfriends?"
Directly he let go of me and he was shocked.
"No!" He looked at me with big eyes. "I don't hit girls and I just end up in a fight if I have to. I don't like violence."
I swallowed.
"Do you promise?"
He nodded.
"I promise. I love you and I don't want to hurt you."



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