Niall lost everything on horses. I was drawn into this because I was his girlfriend. We were going to lose everything, when he finally asked his best friend Harry Styles for help. Harry was rich and had everything that one could have. It was he who changed everything, but at the same time he just wanted to help, yet I was drawn into something that would be the end of everything I was used to know. I was stuck between two men.


10. Love or not?

I woke up alone in bed. Slowly I open my eyes and I slowly began to realize that I had really made a big mistake. Guilt feelings came and I was close to tears. Okay, one side of me was happy and I had really wanted to make love with Harry. Still, I was fully aware that I had been unfaithful to Niall. I remembered when we came to the conclusion that I would stay. Niall had been aware that this could happen and I had warned him of it. Still, I felt shame. I was the worst person on earth. There was a handwritten note on a pillow. Quickly, I read it and I realized it was Harry who had left it there.
"I have to work in the town. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you. Hug H"


I borrowed one of Harry's robes and I sneaked down to the kitchen. Quickly I took a cup of coffee and I went into his office. I wanted to call home to Niall, but at the same time I just wanted to cry. I had been having an affair with his best friend and I wanted to tell Niall about it. Yet I knew that he didn't want to know about that, or what happen between me and Harry. He didn't want to know what happened in the house.


"Hello Darling!"
Nialls voice made me start to cry.
"Hello!" I whispered hoarsely. "How is it?"
He seemed to hesitate.
"Has something happened?"
I forced myself to let go of what had happened.
"No, I just miss you."
He seemed relieved.
"And I miss you darling." I heard him say. "I have good news. I have got a new job."
I tried to smile, just to get m eyes to stop crying.
"That's great!"
Niall laughed a little bit.
"I'll be the caretaker of a cemetery. It's actually a pretty freely work and I have also got working clothes."
I swallowed. Caretaker? Niall had certainly worked with all professions as there are, where you don't need training. I was used to his joy over a new job, but I also knew that he would get bored.
"I have a question." I got up. That was the question that had been most noticeable since I left the disco.
I swallowed.
"Niall, I want you to answer honestly."
He seemed to sense that it was something serious.
"I promise!"
I swallowed and I closed my eyes.
"Do you love me and I don't mean like that normally. How much do you love me?"
It was as if he was surprised by the question.
"Are you serious?"
I frowned.
"Yes, I want to know!"
He cleared his throat a little bit.
"You know I can't talk about feelings in that way. Of course I love you. You are mine and has been mine since we were sixteen years old."
I was a little disappointed by his response.
"Funny feeling in your stomach when you think of me?"
He laughed.
"No, why would I feel that? I know that I love you and that's all that's needed."
I was disappointed. Perhaps Niall didn't feel the same for me as when we was younger? I was only a habit, the one who took care of him, so he didn't have to wash his clothes and so on?
"I must go!" I heard him say. "I have work to do. I have to get money."
I nodded and I wiped away the tears.
"I'll call tomorrow."
He didn't seemed to care.
"Goodbye love!"


I didn't know what happened to me. I feel small and I felt hopeless. I also realized that I had two choices. One, to go home to Niall and live as before. Or two, go for Harry.


I swam in the pool and then I sat down with Harry's robe to dry. I chose to be naked. Who cared? I looked over the backyard and I thought about my life. I had always chosen the easy way out. Niall was my first boyfriend and he was the only one who had actually wanted me, until now. I had thought that it would be the two of us. I had never thought about anything else. Niall and I had been in love in the beginning, we had really been in that state that the other person mattered. Today I knew that it was changed. Perhaps Niall just wanted me there, because he was accustomed to it, to that I was there beside him?


I think I fell asleep in the sun bed. When I woke up, Harry sat at my side and he looked straight at me. I opened my eyes and I looked straight into his. I had no idea what time it was or what I would say. He smiled wide and he let his hand caress my cheek before he opened his lips to speak.
"Hello!" he whispered. "How is it?"
I didn't know what to say.
"Okay!" but that was a lie and he saw that I was lying. He leaned forward and I felt how he gave my forehead a kiss.
"No, it's not okay." I heard him say, and he sat up again. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
No thanks! Or maybe yes?
"I phoned home."
Harry immediately became serious. I saw that it hurt him, but at the same time, we couldn't just forget the truth. I was there because of a debt.
"He got a job." I continued hoarsely. "And he's on the job now."
Harry hesitated. He really didn't want to talk about Niall.
"How nice?"
I nodded tired. Then the thought came back. Niall couldn't tell me why he loved me. Maybe Harry could?
"Why do you love Me?" I regretted the question, but I wanted an answer. "Yesterday you said that you love me?"
Direct the smile came back. He quickly pulled his hand through his hair and he blushed a little bit.
"If I tell you, you'll run away."
I looked straight at him.
"I promise to stay."
Harry took a breath and he collects the thoughts a little.
"Okay!" he muttered hoarsely and thoughtfully. "I love you because you get my whole world to spin. You get my days become brighter, and every time I see you it's as if I see you for the very first time. I want to take care of you, I want to give you everything and I want you to be happy. "
I was jaw-dropping.
He laughed a little bit.
"Before you came here, life was gray and dull. I worked around the clock. Now it's as if you've given me the joy back."
I was surprised when he lay down beside me. He took one arm under my head and he held me with the other.
"Is that a good answer?" he asked. "Or I'll also tell you that I think of you every second I breathe and my whole life consists you."
I blushed. Okay, that wasn't the answer I had expected. I looked at him again and I couldn't stop smiling. Harry seemed to like my reaction. He looked down at his robe and he raised his eyebrows.
"You're naked under there?"
I laughed.
He wrinkled his nose and he looked at me again.
"Do you play with my feelings? Right now I just want to throw myself over you and experience that again, as we did in bed."
I laughed. I blushed and quickly I pulled the robe more around me.
"No not now!" I giggled. He smiled and he leaned over me. He kissed me. 


I can not describe Harry's kiss. His lips were like big pillows that caressed me at the same time as they wet down my lips with saliva. His lips were hot, desirable, alluring and seductive. When he let his tongue slip in, it was as if the whole world stood still. He tasted good, he tasted sensually and he loved to taste me. His kisses made me forget, he took away all the problems, and with just a few simple movements, he got the kiss to be perfect. It was as if he was created to kiss me. Everything was planned in the closest detail, and I just loved it.


I took my arms around his neck. He landed more over me and I felt the way he opened up the bathrobe. His hands found me, my body, and it was as if my skin wanted more. I moaned and I tried to pull him over me, but he refused. Instead, a hand slid down between my legs and he stroked me. I let him continue. I was lying naked in a chair on a backyard and I let a man caress me? Yes, it sounded crazy, but it felt right.


"I love to see you enjoy!"
Harry's voice was muffled, I almost missed it. I moaned and I brought the hips up and down. I tried to kiss him again, but he didn't allow that. He wanted to see me and he looked at me carefully. I closed my eyes and I let him take care of me, he had the right to touch me, only he could, no one else. I felt the tingle down there, I felt how good it was and I felt his fingers penetrated. I pressed myself against him, but he seemed like he just wanted to stare at me. He looked down over my body and it was as if I was his most expensive possession.
"I want to see you come, here and now!" he whined hoarsely. "Oh, I really love to watch you when you are in this state."


I screamed, and again it was as if he was created to give me orgasms. I wasn't ashamed over my nakedness, and I wasn't ashamed over what I felt. He allowed me and he wanted me to show it to him. He wanted to do everything for me, and he himself was happy just to be there.


"You're a sex maniac?"
My question made him laugh. He kissed me softly on the lips and he let his hand stay down there.
"No, I'm just relying on you." he whispered lovingly. "I believe that I have the right to enjoy every second you're here and I'm going to enjoy this time fully."
I opened my eyes and I took up my hands. I caught up his face between them and I watched him carefully.
"You know that I can't stay?"
He nodded and he smiled a little bit.
"Let us live here and now. That as happens tomorrow, we can't influence or stop?"
I nodded. I pulled his face towards him and I kissed him.
"I might become addicted for you?"
He laughed quietly.
"Yes, that's my plan!"

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