Paralysed - When the fear is greater than the will

Ntsika is a 19 year old young man. He is a runner. As he he is faced with challenges in his sport and his life, he realises that the race to be great is only beginning. When he finds himself paralysed by fear, the doubt, loneliness, discouragement and worthlessness takes over. Does Ntsika have the will to keep going? Or will he remain PARALYSED?


2. Chapter 2

“I am not raising this child alone.”  Ntsika heard his oldest sister Marsha hiss into her cell phone as he walked in. She had the front door open and was sitting in a floral mini dress and winter slippers. She sat cross legged on a metal chair near the door looking out at the rain. She had an empty bowl and spoon in her right hand which she balanced on her pregnant tummy. When she saw Ntsika come in she hung up the phone and got up from the chair.

“Hey you.”  She said as she pushed the chair aside and closed the door with her foot. Ntsika put his bag on the kitchen floor and took off his wet shoes and socks. “I hope you’re not getting that clean floor wet! Go and get yourself dry and I will dish up for you.”

Ntsika’s big sister was loud and beautiful with big brown eyes, a sheer black afro, almond coloured skin and full lips which were always covered in gloss. She was strict and fussy and so annoying, but Ntsika knew that she was not one to mess with and if he ever needed her she would be there for him. She was more like his mother than his mother. When he returned into the kitchen with some clean dry clothes on, he found a nice steamy bowl of wild rice and lemon and herb roasted chicken with a saucy tomato gravy with lots of garlic waiting for him to devour. Marsha loved garlic.

 “I did not want to cook chicken again, but you know your mother and her obsession with the animal.” She took a seat across her little brother and sipped her decaf coffee.

Ntsika chewed away merrily at her sister’s weird white people food. That was what they called it at school. When he had homemade garlic bread, vegetarian pizza with fruit cheese, wild rice, rice cakes and all those kinds of things for lunch, some of his fellow classmates had said that he ate weird white people food. He did not care, he was a growing boy and he just liked food. Marsha believed that just because they were not rich that did not mean that they had to eat shit. “If I’m going to eat everyday till I die then it better be good food, even if I live in a shack.” That was what she told her mother when she was asked why she spent so much on food when she could get cheaper products from the Parkistani tuck shops in the neighbourhood. She had done a one year chef and nutrition course just after high school and she did most of the grocery shopping and cooking in the house.


“So, how was your race?” Marsha asked.

“It was fine.” Ntsika managed to say in between chews.

 “Your coach still on your case about running fast?”

“Ya, but someone wants me to switch clubs.”

“Really, who?”


Ntsika was telling his big sister all about Dash and Mr Jackson and his impressive silver car when her phone rang. She looked at the screen and rolled her eyes as she got up to take the call in the living room.  She screamed into the phone and paused, then screamed again and paused and screamed again and hung up. Ntsika knew that it was Karabo on the phone, Marsha’s boyfriend. That guy was messing with the wrong girl he thought.

 “Remind me to never date a guy with muscles again, even if he is a church boy!” Marsha yelled as she walked back into the kitchen. She leaned against the sink and punched away at her phone. After a few seconds she looked up at her little brother and said. “Please promise me you will never be those guys that run away from responsibility, seriously be a decent dude. If you mess up and get your girlfriend of three years pregnant don’t be a dick and run away!”  Ntsika just looked at her. He never knew how to respond to his sister’s grown up stories, she was eight years his senior. He preferred it when she asked him questions about his life and he spoke about himself.  Marsha shook her head and laughed. “Join the other running club boy; maybe you will have something positive to look forward to.”







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