Sunday my suicide day

Two lost souls sit upon a rooftop at midnight. Both have had enough of the list of problems that plague their mind. Jada Raine appears to live a regular life: she has friends at school, she laughs a little too much and she finds happiness in art and music. But she hides the darkness behind her blinding light. Will she open up to anyone before it's too late?

Includes themes such as suicide/self harm/eating disorders etc so if it upsets you maybe avoid. Sorry.
This is my first fanfiction so I would love if you guys read it and commented on what I should do more of etc xx


3. Broken Birthday

Thursday 13th September: My last day of being 15. I'm not doing anything with my friends this year as my mum has already bought me expensive concert tickets. I haven't seen my dad in over a week so I'm looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.

Lunch time comes quickly and surprisingly, I manage to get a good seat at the table. I sit between Abbey and Jess with Avia and Darcy opposite - the rest of the girls sit around us. Abbey is talking about some boy she kissed on holiday and how great and fit he was, I don't really know because I'm not listening. I don't eat lunch at school and so I just wait for the others to finish theirs. Towards the end of lunch, people begin to filter off into smaller groups and since nobody ever asks me to join them I have to be the tag along and follow them like a total idiot.

I throw in the odd smile or laugh so people don't suspect anything, but after a while my face hurts. I always seem to want to be somewhere else but I never know where. Now Darcy is on about this fantastic boy she is talking to on snapchat. God when is the bell going to go.

The next day

16.16 already. My mum and my sister haven't shouted at me yet because they're trying to be nice. I open my cards and receive only one gift - the awesome arrival of my period. Yay for me! I will open my real presents after school.

I check snapchat before I leave but nobody has put anything on their story yet. It's only 6:45, it's too early I tell myself.

The bus journey is weird. Nobody even mentions my birthday yet Jess and Darcy are clearly holding what looks like a bag containing presents? Oh! I bet they are doing that whole 'forgetting their birthday' prank that we were on about doing last year. I'll play along.

Clear Autumn skies welcome us as we arrive at school. The canteen isn't too full. The boys sit on their table, Michael sits in the corner with one earphone in and annoying year sevens run around the doors. We sit and chat for 10 minutes before Bianca, Avia and Abbey arrive. Emily, Jess and Darcy stand up.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIANCA!" They all shout.

My smile drops. I feel like everything is collapsing on me. It wasn't a prank and those weren't my presents. 12 years. 12 years I have known Jess, Emily and Darcy and yet they don't remember my birthday. But they have no problem remembering someone they have only known for 1 year's birthday. I can't look. They all hug her and hand her the gifts; I turn to look at something else and find myself looking at the boy with the red hair. Michael looks back and sees right through me. I can't move. I know that he knows I am sad right now. I gulp and stand up, trying to hold back tears. "I'm going to the toilet" I say as smoothly as possible. The girls acknowledge my statement but don't say anything.

Me and this cubicle have met too many times; we are practically friends. I pull out my phone, pressing play as I push my headphones in my ears. I block my sobs with my hand even though I'm alone. I never expected any of this to happen. I thought I would go to school, get presents, have a nice day for once - but instead it's all gone wrong. I shove my hands in the gap between my thighs to stop them from shaking. The bell goes. Shit.

By the time I get to English the redness and swelling around my eyes has disappeared. I didn't go to the school counsellor because I didn't want anyone to know. They can't find out its my birthday. If they do, they will whisper and it will be the most awkward day of my life.

"Where did you go?" Avia asks as I pull my English book out of my vans rucksack. "I had my period" I quickly conjure up as an excuse. She nods understandably. I sit in silence throughout the lesson, only speaking when I need to. Danny (who sits in front of me) turns and stares at my eyes as his mouth falls open. "woah! You're eyes have changed colour!" He says a little too loud. Crap. I forgot hat my eyes change from blue to a bright ocean turquoise when I cry. Lewis, Sophie, Avia and Michael turn to look at my eyes. I smile shakily. "Yeh they do that sometimes" I say. I know that Michael knows. I avoid eye contact with all of them. "How come I've never seen this before?" Avia questions. I shrug.

When home time arrives I soon find out that I will be getting the bus home alone. Jess, Emily and Darcy are sleeping over at Abbey's and I obviously wasn't invited. I walk out the school gates, no longer having to to hide my depressed state from my face. Wind whips under my blazer sleeves and I shiver. Just as I'm pulling my headphones out my pocket a hand touches my arm. I stop and see Michael. "Hey, how come you're not with your friends?" He asks. Why is he asking? "They're staying at Abbeys tonight" I explain. He gives me this look but I can't tell what it means, is it sympathy or empathy? "Are you going home on your own?" He asks, looking slightly worried. "Yeh, I've done it lots of times its no big deal" I partially lie.

"Be safe" he says. I smile, surprised. "Thanks, I will."

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