Funny Jokes

These are not my jokes
Credit to whoever made them there not that good but trust me they get better as you read!


3. Riddles!

Q: Peter’s smart phone fell into a big mug of coffee but didn’t get wet. How was this possible?

A: It was coffee powder.

1 Q: A man on a flat soccer field kicked a soccer ball 40 feet away. The ball came back immediately at the same speed. No one else and no object have been involved. The ball didn’t touch anything on its way. How did the man do that?
A: He kicked the ball up in the air.

2 Q: What stays in the corner all the time but travels around the world?
A: Stamps.

3 Q: What gets quickly wet while drying?
A: The towel.

4 Q: You had 20 men build your house in two months. How long would it take 10 men to build the very same house? 
A: Zero seconds. The house was already built by the 20 men.

5 Q: There’s a man who can tell the exact score before every soccer match. How on earth does he do that?
A: The score before every soccer match is known to everyone. It is always 0:0.

6 Q: Maybe I can hear everything but you'll never hear me say a word. Who am I?
A: Your ear.

7 Q: When you take 2 out of 3 apples away, how many apples do you have?
A: The 2 apples you’ve taken with you.

8 Q: A man goes out in heavy rain with nothing to protect him from it. His hair doesn’t get wet. How does he do that?
A: He is bald.

9 Q: On which side do chickens have the most feathers?
A: On the outside.

10 Q: What insect needs to eat the least?
A: The moth – it only eats holes.

11 Q: Who’s got feathers but no wings?
A: Your pillow.

12 Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it?
A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair.

13 Q: What spends all the time on the floor but never gets dirty?
A: Your shadow.

14 Q: In what glasses shouldn’t you poor apple juice?
A: The full ones.

15 Q: When does a man really like being alone? 
A: When he becomes an heir.

16 Q: A doctor gave you 3 pills that you have to take every half hour. How long does it take you to use them all?
A: One hour. You took the first one immediately.

17 Q: When can a man walk on water?
A: When the water gets really cold.

18 Q: A question in a math class. You have 2 apples in your hand plus another 4 apples in your hand. What do you have?
A: A very big hand.

19 Q: Is it legal to marry the sister of your widow?
A: Doesn’t matter. You are dead anyways.

20 Q: Who earns money without working a single day?

A: The night watchman.

21 Q: Who can smell without having a nose? 
A: The cheese.

22 Q: What is a Korean in the ocean?
A: Wet.

23 Q: Who lives an exhausting live? 
A: The exhaust.

24 Q: What goes swimming with you but never gets wet?
A: Your shadow.

25 Q: What is the difference between a car and toilet paper?
A: It’s perfectly OK to buy a used car.

26 Q: What do you call the fruits of anger? 
A: Smacks.

27 Q: Who is the biggest victim of the yo-yo effect?
A: The moon. It gains and loses every month.

28 Q: What nails are a pain to hammer into wood?
A: Your finger nails.

29 Q: What animal turns about 200 times around its axis after it dies?
A: A roast chicken.

30 Q: Which lion is a very good swimmer?
A: The sea-lion.

31 Q: What question do you always have to answer with “Yes”?
A: How to spell the word YES.

32 Q: How many months in the year have 28 days?
A: All of them.

33 Q: What has 6 feet and sings?
A: The singing trio.

34 Q: The more he has the less he weighs. What is it?
A: Cheese with holes.

35 Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple but one apple should remain in the basket. How do you do that?
A: You give 19 children one apple each and to the last one you give the basket containing the last apple.

36 Q: Who eats a lot of iron without getting sick?
A: The rust.

37 Q: When a child is going to school for the first time, where will it sit?
A: Nowhere, it is still going.

38 Q: How much earth lies in a hole 3 feet deep and 3 feet wide?
A: None. It wouldn’t be a hole anymore if there were earth in it.



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