he thinks i don´t care about him anymore, but i care more than anything. ☾


3. chapter 3

Almost a week had passed until a woman called me one late evening, as I leaned over a book, studying for the university.

Since Niall clearly didn't want to talk to me, I started to learn more than ever, trying to understand, what I had done wrong. I decided to give him his time, to sort out things from his breakdown of drugs, but I just couldn't understand, what made him think, I wouldn't love him anymore.

"Will you get it, Helen?" my mother called from downstairs as the phone started to ring, which made me shrugging. Since I lived in her house again, she always wanted to talk with me, asked if everything was okay. The doctors decided to let me live at hers for the time, just in case something would happen since my accident. They brought everything here from Niall's and my flat in my old room.

To be honest, it annoyed me, because I felt healthy all the time and my mother was checking on me nearly every second.

I said, that it wasn't necessary to let me live at my mother's again, but the doctors said, it'd be better for me, to have somebody to keep an eye on me, since Niall was in hospital at the time.

With a sigh I closed the book and walked over to the desk, on my which my phone rang, already having a headache from the annoying ringtone. I had to change it someday, before it would drive me crazy.

"Yes?" I answered the call, wondering who wanted to speak me at this time. It was nearly 11pm.

"It's psychiatry Westside, am I speaking with Helen Blake?" a female voice spoke monotone and she didn't seem sorry for calling me at all. Immediately I worried about Niall.

"It's no problem for me. What is the reason for you calling me?" I asked politely, rubbing my heavy eyelids, which were just about to fall down and let me drift into a deep sleep.

"Is it right, that you and Niall Horan used to be in a close relationship?" she asked me.

He still is a part of my life.

"What do you mean with used to? We´re in a relationship." I mumbled weakly in response.

"Oh Niall told his therapist otherwise. His doctor wants to talk about some things, which could help him to sort out things soon." the woman said and her voice sounded colder with every word she spoke.

I felt uncomfortable about this, since Niall didn't want to speak to me, but if it'd help? I sat down on the couch again staring at the pictures of Niall and me on my wall. Old memories.

"There's a consultation hour tomorrow at 10am. He'd appreciate seeing you there." the woman instructed, before she ended the call, without saying any more. What a polite woman.


This evening I could barely catch any sleep. Why did they want me to talk about Niall? I just wanted to turn everything back and live alone with Niall in peace, like we used to before this accident thing happened. When did he even start to take drugs? I've been in hospital for a few days, and he got addicted so fast?

I turned around wrapped myself tight in the soft blanket, and closed my eyes, trying to drift in a sleep, but I lay awake for hours, haunted by the thoughts of Niall, until I finally fell asleep.


- NIALL -  

I stood in front of the therapist's office, waiting for her to come. I wore old jeans and some old shirt, which Cara brought here for me. It was really nice of her to bring all this stuff, but I really didn't care, what I was wearing here. I watched the small cannula on the back of my hand, which they put in to supply me with medicine.

After a few minutes Helen finally showed up, wearing dark jeans and some white oversized sweater, which hid her curves. She was so small, she didn't need to hide anything. I suppressed a smile as I saw her walking down the corridor.

It had been my idea to get her to talk to my therapist, not because of the thought to get me clean and stuff. I just wanted to see her and hear her lovely voice again. I also knew, that it was wrong, because I was dating Cara and all that, but I just couldn't get rid of Helen.

"Hi." her voice wasn't more than a whisper. I knew she was afraid of my reaction, since I had been so cold towards her the last time. After we had been in an argument, she always behaved like this - she was more shyly towards me. 

"You look beautiful." I said softly and watched her expression, which turned from distanced to sudden suprised.

"You look pale." she said in response, trying not to smile, but she already showed dimples on her cheeks, and I had to grin slightly.

"Thanks." I smiled and the therapist opened the door, begging us to come in.

God I miss you so much, I want to wrap my arms around you and leave this place with only you.


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