Deadpool and the X- men

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, huh. Not in this case though. The X-Men are the enemy of venom and so is deadpool... but they're not exactly friends.


2. How I'm a Mutant


You probably already know this- but I once worked with the  X-Men, it was amazing! I'm not sure they like me though. Cyclops and Wolverine are my least favourite two because they say that I'm not a mutant- which I totally am.

Right, before when I told you all my origin story, I told you that I was born with cancer as a child. Remember that as I'm gonna go back to it. Wolverine says that I can't be a mutant because I wasn't born with my healing factor and you need to be born with things for them to make you a mutant- but that might not prove anything about me not being a mutant at all.

When these guys called 'Scrulls' captured me one time (yes, even I get captured), they told me that they were gonna steal my mutant powers to heal so that they would crush the Fantastic Four because they wouldn't be able to die or get killed by them. (Jeez, why didn't they just go for Wolverine?)

What the Scrulls didn't realise was that I wasn't born with my healing factor and that that wasn't my mutant powers. In fact even I didn't know what my mutant powers were until       then- but I did still know that I had powers. The big boss Scrull, I think his name was something like 'Super Scrull' , started uploading some files from my body, into their brains. First they had to put my mask off which wasn't a pretty sight. 'Ya wanna know how I got these scars?' I asked the Scrulls in my best 'DC Comics Joker' impression. 
'That does not matter,' the Super Scrull replied.
'Come on, I thought everyone knows that line,' I tried to tell the Scrulls but it was no use.

Suddenly, all the Scrulls started exploding and on the floor was just piles and piles of alien gunk. 'Ewwww,' I told myself as even more Scrulls started exploding. Suddenly, the Super Scrull whacked me in the head as his arm turned to rock, then back to Normal. Running backwards, I found some explosives in my pocket and threw them at the Super Scrull. Somehow he turned to flames but it wasn't burning or doing anything to him. Super Scrull attempted to punch me even though it was from a long distance. 'Look at that guy, trying to punch me from a long distance, what an idiot, that's why I'm the best!' His arm extended so long that it could have gone to the moon and back- if it hadn't have gone right in my stomach. 'Owwww' I complained. 'That's gonna hurt in the morning!'

Well that was a really long paragraph, let's start a new one, shall we? Just then I realised what was happening to the Scrulls around me- they were dying of internal cancer (that is my mutant power, my friend!) yep, that's right, mutant powers don't always have to have a benefit on yourself. One time I saw a guy with a fish for a face, hahahaha, that was funny! 'I don't have to even fight you, Stupid Scrull,' I explained to him, 'You're already dead, by Deadpool!'
'You got my cancer- not my healing factor, you evil scum! Now get killed by  cancer! Hahaha!' I replied. Super Scrull slowly disintegrated and I walked to my motorcycle.

So that, my friends shows you that I am a mutant- not because of my healing factor but because of my cancer!





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