The Last Battle (For Now)

A battle of the colognes has been sweeping the celebrity world Taylor and Kanye are but one of them.


1. Taylor vs. Kanye

    “curse you kanye west!” shouted taylor swift over the noise of the hustle and bustle of the busy city.  Kanye west had once again destroyed her new signature perfume, “swifty”.  he always broke into her house, just as she was sampling the light and sweet scent of flowering mango gumdrops, or purple violet seaweed casserole, and took the bottle out of her hand, took out his special white-out pen, which he had stolen from katy perry, but i won’t get into that, and scribbled out taylor’s name replacing it with “yeezus” with a big gold sparkly marker. taylor called the police once, but they said you can’t fight a man with a big gold sparkly marker.

    taylor envied kanye, with his big gold sparkly marker, and his white out pen, and his award-winning scents which rightfully belonged to her. taylor was only able to release one perfume, called “taylor.”  so one day taylor found out that kanye was releasing his own cologne, “gold,” she was glad that kanye was finally going to make his own cologne, but then she realized this was the perfect time to get back at him.

so taylor got into the ugliest outfit ever, she decided that she would look funny in kanye’s part of town wearing her rhinestone studded belly shirt and her tight little skirt, and headed over to rapper’s square.

rapper’s square wasn’t officially a place, people just called it that, and it was in the middle of new york city, most of the people who lived there wanted to grow up to rap for a living, and most were successful, including kanye.  taylor was wearing baggy pants, a loose shirt, multiple gold chains around her neck, and a sideways baseball cap set up on her head.  she walked the streets carefully making sure she didn’t miss a single house, because she had little time before kanye returned from his advertising meeting. she found kanye’s house easily because it was plastered with “kanye for prez 2020” signs. she slowly scanned the house, and did not see anyone so she crept into the back yard so her entrance would be unseen. she was silent but her gold chains didn’t help any. so she dropped them on the ground with a small klang! she then realized that kanye could easily take the chains and make money off them, so she decided to bury them. she bent down, not afraid to get her pants dirty because a little dirt would look natural, and buried them. she was rushing because of her lack of time and didn’t realize that someone was creeping up behind her. the man was short, but slender, he was a little scared of the mysterious intruder, but that was nothing compared to what kanye would do to him if he let an intruder slip past him.  he steadily held the strong handle of a pitchfork and said in the most clear voice possible, “who are you and why are you


taylor spun around worried but curious this voice was familiar. her eyes landed on his face and she smiled brightly. “hector?”

the man stepped back taking in what he saw, “taylor, w-what are you doing here?”

“trying to get a little payback on kanye, what about you?”

“well remember how i quit working as your butler to work as a writer?”


“yeah, well kanye offered me that job and somehow i ended up here, as a gardener. i wanted to come and work back for you, but i was afraid you’d be mad,”

“well come back to work for me, because i never was mad.”

the two then agreed to both get kanye back. so hector helped taylor get inside and find kanye’s cologne, she took the cap off and put the shiny gold bottle up to her nose and found herself floating on a cloud of heavenly scents, all of which were familiar but she didn’t know why, she then realized kanye would be back in a matter of seconds so she whispered for hector to come, and ran towards the door. but then, hector pointed to something in the corner, a big gold sparkly marker. so taylor tucked kanye’s cologne into her huge pant pocket and ran fast towards the sparkly gold marker, but then, she heard a door squeak open and she found herself face to face with kanye west.

taylor refused to give up her one and only chance to get kanye’s big gold sparkly marker so she ran to it. she grabbed and kanye froze, for even he knew you can’t fight a girl with a big gold sparkly marker.


The end (until the sequel)

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