Be Here

everyone's laughing, but the only joke was you...


1. chapter 1


// You shoulda been there,

you shoulda burst through the door with that 'baby I'm right here' smile

And it woulda felt

like a million little shining stars have just aligned

And I woulda been so.. happy //



October 19th, 11:27 pm:

She took the old, slightly ripped, tee shirt of his out of her bottom drawer. She only ever resulted back to it when she knew she absolutely had to. she peeled her wet clothes off of her body, throwing them in a pile on the floor to be dealt with at a later date, right now she could care less. It took all she had in her not to pick up the phone and dial the number that had been permanently engraved in the back of her mind. His number. "I promise baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere" he said. "I love you" he said. lie after lie after lie. Not necessarily, he might not have known at the time that she would hold this against him. Then again, neither did she.


Then he packed up and left. Dead of night. No 'goodbye's, no 'see you later's, no more 'I love you's. No stolen kisses to her forehead like he had done so many times before while she peacefully rested, leaving for work. True, he had left for work. Two and a half months ago. But he never did come back, gone with the wind she says. It took a few weeks for her to let the realization sink in, he had left her. But it only took three days for her to figure out where he had gone, America. He was in New York the first time she saw him again, his face flashing across her screen, alongside the other three members of his band. Happy. He was happy, at least he looked it. She wouldn't know, he wont return any of her calls.


She kept in touch with the rest of them, which is why she didn't understand what he was doing to her. Ashton was the better of the three, however. He was the last thing basically keeping her together.


"It'll get better Charlotte, we're coming home soon, we can meet up, I know you're going through a lot more than I can mentally understand, but I am here for you xx"


Her screen was illuminated by the message from him, Ashton, not Lucas.


"Can I call? I really need someone right now"


She found herself calling him more than she had meant to. She always felt like a bother to him, she was just Luke's leftovers, there was no reason for Ashton to care as much as he did, or pretended to as she saw it. Getting his reply that he was just in his bunk so she could definitely call brought a small smile to her face.


Two and a half rings later, she heard his giggly voice echo the word 'hello' and a curtain being closed.


"Hi Ash"


"Hey, what happened?"


She broke down completely, something she hated doing when she talked to him, though she found herself doing it more consistently during their late night calls.


"Hey, hey shh it's okay, you're okay, you don't have to tell me it's okay"


She sniffled, taking a deep breath and whipping the fallen tears from under her eyes. "I'm sorry, I know I call you all the time you probably get sick of me"


"Never, it's okay I like talking to you, I like knowing that I can be the one person who's there for you, even if I am halfway across the world the majority of the time"


she let a slight giggle slip past her lips.


"See, there she is, that happy girl I know is still in there"


"I got into another fight with my dad, he almost hit me this time"
 She stumbled out. The line went silent for a few seconds.


"Charlotte, you need to go to someone, your mom, your sister, anyone. Hell, even if you go to my mother, this isn't a safe environment for you. why'd you go home in the first place?"


"I went to bring some stuff into my old room, mostly thing of Luke's that ive found over the past two months that he missed when he abandoned me"


"Hey, hey he didn't abandon you"


she let a tired whine pass through her mouth, throwing herself onto the bed and tucking herself under the duvet. "I hate when you say that, you know damn well that he abandoned me"

She rolled her body to one side, facing the middle of the bed, her one arm extending to the side of the bed that was once filled with the warmth of his body, now cold and untouched since the day she woke up alone.


"I know, I'm sorry"


"Is he doing okay? without me?"


"If we're being honest, he's not been himself the whole time we've been gone"


"He's doing a great job hiding it then"


"Maybe in public, I found him curled up with that old stuffed teddy he gave you for your last anniversary, just the other day. He wont exactly open up to any of us about it, but we all know what he did to you, we all know it was wrong"


"At least you guys know, he can't even pick up the phone when I call" She let another stray tear drip down her cheek, not caring when it started a puddle under her eye on her pillow.


"If you get sick of being alone until we're back I can always call my mum or Harry, or even Jack for that matter, we all talk and we're all worried about you, promise me that if anything happens with your dad again you'll go straight to my mom? okay, please?"


"I promise, thank you Ash" They mumbled a quick goodbye before she hung up and turned her phone off, burying herself deeper into the bed and letting the tears fall. You would think that after almost three months of him being gone she'd be back to normal by now. Truth was, all she wanted was him here, to wrap his arms around her on the couch like old times, tell her it would be okay and that her dad wasn't worth it, that if he couldn't appreciate his own daughter than he was the problem, not her. To place a kiss to her temple and draw lazy shapes onto her skin as they drifted to sleep, limbs tangled and fingers intertwined. She wanted to just be happy with him. But he was half way across the world and couldn't care less as far as she knew it. She needed a shoulder to cry on, and Ashton through the phone didn't exactly count. as much as she appreciated it.

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