Parker is a patient at residential psychiatric hospital, Healing Hearts Community. Parker, isn't stupid, he isn't insane, he's just a 'messed up individual.' He's here because of a drug habit, numerous suicide attempts, depression bi-polar disorder, and extreme case of anxiety. But he's not your average patient. He's a smart ass, he knows how to work his way around here. He's the 'Channing Tatum' of his ward, smart, funny, and sexy. His past haunts him, an ex-girlfriend, a baby, and a drug dealing and drug induced psychosis made him believe his life wasn't worth living. And then one day he heard about her on the news, and that was the day everything changed.


1. New News

"Emmonds, you gonna tell us why you're here today or no?" Lisa asks. Fucking old, obese bitch.

"I'm sorry, Garanato, but no one except people I want to be associated and or be seen in public with can call me by my last name." I say, looking at her. 

Everyone in this 'circle' doesn't really fall under that category either but, I try not to think about the fact that I feel completely alone in a ward full of fucking douches and insane bitches who are fully capable of the fact that they are assholes. Insane? Well they at least know how to be complete ass whips. 

"Okay then," She says checking off her clipboard.

"So, I obviously have no call for today and no break either according to that pen. Anyway, my name's Parker, I'm turning 18 in like I don't even know. I don't bother to remember the date anymore. It's soon though. I'm here for drug use, alcohol use, depression, bi polar, anxiety, and recovering from pyschosis. I'm from Quebec. We're in Vancouver so, you obviously know where that is. How am I feeling today? That's the next question right? Okay, today I feel content, and happy, and the world is full of butterflies and rainbows and fucking ponies. How the hell do you think I feel I'm in a fucking psych hospital-"

"Parker! Unless you want to stop, I'll have Bean take you to the white noise room."

I snicker and roll my eyes. Whenever I talk, I'm not afraid to be a cocky prick because I don't like to sugar coat things. Why distract from the reality? 

I'm not trying to be a jerk I just come off as one. Sometimes it helps me though, to keep me grounded and as a safeguard. Yeah I know, guys can admit that they're guarded. Just not to you. I'm not going to tell you I'm a pussy.
"Derek," Basically my closest 'friend' here at Healing Hearts. He's a tall, muscular, Milato black and white mix guy. He's got a blue eyes and a good personality sometimes. That's really all he has going for him. He used to shoot up on heroin in the washroom at school during lunch. We don't like to talk about our problems even more than we have to.
"Yo," He says looking up from his iPod he snuck in here since he got here last year when he was 16. He uses it to sext girls and watch porn off the guest wifi. He slips it back into his pocket.
"Tell us about you."
"I'm Derek. Here for drug abuse, heroin, a little meth. I'm from Vancouver. What am I feeling? Pissed the fuck off. Thank you for listening to this bullshit everyone."
"Derek, you and Parker no breaks, no calls." Lisa checks off her clipboard.
"Just how I like it." He says, snickering and grabbing my hand for a high five. 
This bitch is fucking insane. I love it.
There's 12 of us in this circle. The 15 years plus group. The last of us to go is whore tron, Lindsey. Whore tron? Shit is weak. She's a dick fiend.
"Hello everyone," She says, pushing her chest together to make her small mosquito bite tots look bigger. "I'm Lindsey. Sadly, I'm here for my depression and anxiety which almost drove me to the point of a successful suicide 7 times,"
I whisper to Derek. "Wish it would've been 6 out of 7 and done."
He bursts out laughing and that's the end of us both. 
Lindsey looks at us with disgust on her face. 
"Is there a problem?" 
"No," Derek runs his hand through his hair. "Absolutely not Linds." 
She smiles sarcastically. "Thank you, Derek. I'll continue now, okay? Okay."
Oh my fucking God she needs a 90 inch dildo shoved up her ass and out her mouth. Like Jesus Christ. 
I bite my cuticles and watch the window. The fountain outside and the little kids running around. They don't deserve the be here. They're too young this place isn't for them. They don't even get to see their parents. They don't have a family here. 
"And I would just like you all to know that if you EVER need ANYTHING I'm always here to talk." Lindsey smiles with tiny lips and dark blue eyes. 
"Thank you honey," Lisa says. "You're very brave. Alright, Mike will be here in a few moments to pick you up and bring you to art therapy. 
"Oh my gosh," whispers Lindsey to Diana. 
Diana Belcher. What oh, what can't I say about Belcher. Apparently she's slept with some of the male nurses here and I wouldn't doubt it because she's been pregnant WHILE she was here in hell. They give you abortions, you have no say. Unless you're 18, you can't keep it. Baby killers. Just like Bonnie.
Mike knocked on the doorway to let us know it was time to go to t
he art room. I had to sit for a couple seconds before I got up. I had to breathe. Derek put his hand down on my shoulder. He knew when I was having flashbacks and when I would become a ticking time bomb. And now was one of those times. I lifted up from my seat me being the tallest person in the room now. 6'2".

"Come on big man," He said patting my back. "Let's go take our anger out on some Crayolas and coloring books."
I smirked. He always knew how to make me laugh. 
In the hospital we never wore shoes. Only socks. Shoes can be used as weapons and laces as nooses. Real fucking funny. There was never a reason to. Plus it was always cold as shit so you need fluffy socks to keep you warm. When we get to the room everyone sits at these round, kidney bean shaped juvenile tables that are all different colors. It basically look like a room at a pre school. The walls are painted like an aquarium and there's a flat screen tv and boardgames even though that's in every room and all I do all day is hang out with Derek or cave in when I feel bad for Jim and play Uno with him. He's half blind and his cards usually aren't even the right colors most of the time but I Iet him win. Although I think he knows, so let's just pretend I didn't say that. 
I notice when I look around before Wanda (the sassiest, black bitch I know) tells us our "project" I notice Diana and Lindsey fawning over Mike. A tall, blonde guy with blue eyes who just so happens to be from Ireland. Whip Dee Fucking Do. 
"Girls! Sit the hell down and leave Mike alone he's my Irish potato! God damn!" Wanda says. "Now before I tell you what we're doing today ya'll better listen and listen well. We have a new patient coming in today. She'll be here right about when Art Therapy ends."
Derek nudges me. "Dude, maybe she'll be hot." 
I hush him and listen. 
She continues. "Her name is Riley. She's in a very fragile state right now. She's actually on the news broadcast we're about to put on for you. She was kidnapped when she was 10, she's 17 now. She was beaten, raped, impregnanted, beat so bad that she lost the baby, and was held in a basement in chains with no food, water, or bathroom. She was basically a sex slave," Wanda holds her eyes like she's keeping in tears. "You'll hear all about it. I know ya'll are strong enough but if you feel uncomfortable come talk to me or Ms. Lisa outside okay? Okay ya'll have free draw today." She leaves the room and turns on the tv. 
"Jett Turner here reporting live from Vancouver where a man named Emile Canton kept 3 girls, one for over 12 years. In Canton's home in Richmond where his basement held Alyssa Dunn age 24, Riley LeClair 17, and Julia Leroy 14. Pete Turner has the entire broadcast with that, Pete."
"Here in Richmond. House 235 is where 3 girls, Alyssa, Riley, and Julia suffered for years. All the girls have had missing reports and were never found. All along they were trapped here in this man's basement bound by these bloody chains and ropes on bloody mattresses filled with who even knows. Julia the newest victim has been here for 4 years, Riley 7, and Alyssa has been in Canton's house for over 12 years. This morning as Emile did every morning for the past 5 years, as the 2 girls had said, he went for his morning coffee. But he finally had trusted the second eldest, Riley, to clean and tend to his and Alyssa's 5 month old daughter. After Riley heard the car start and drive away she grabbed the baby, wrapping it in multitudes of blankets and ran up stairs to Canton's bedroom to find the keys to the locks on the handcuffed chains. The other girl's were still asleep until 'the bravest girl they know' came and unlocked them for their last time up Emile Canton's steps. Running out terrified to the neighbors in tattered, filthy clothes. Police rushed to the scene and Emile was captured 15 minutes later after his morning coffee. But sadly for Riley LeClair tragedy doesn't end at that door. Her parents, two brothers and sister died in a house fire. The cause of which is still unknown. The other girls have gone home safe to their families and Alyssa Dunn has a court case coming up for the custody of her 5 month old daughter. Jett back to you."
"A horrifying story, Pete -"
I grab the remote and squash down the volume
"Dude, you okay?" Derek asks, looking down at my paper that I drew while watching
"He killed her baby."
"Parker, I know. It's hard to hear, but life sucks. That's a really good picture of Bonnie and you. With her star tatts by her eye and lip ring and everything. It looks exactly like that picture."
"Thanks, Der." I sigh. I'm about to scribble it out when she walks out. And she looks nothing like her picture anymore. 
Her body is skinny but god fucking dammit she has curves. Tits and ass yes, Jesus Christ. She can't be taller than 5'4". She has dark green eyes and dark straight caramel hair down to her ass. She looks like an anorexic model, but one that got plastic surgery and had sex with Beyonce. Her lips are such a pretty pink and her cheeks are cute and puffy and blushed and she looks so shy and sad. And then I can see the rest of her skin. Her neck is covered in hickies or bruises whatever if they're on your neck they're hickies to me. From that fucking asshole she's covered in cuts. There's not one inch on her body that isn't blemished. She either has a scar or a cigarette burn or a bruise or a bite mark. Except for her face. He kept her face so pretty.
Wanda walks in beside her with her little canvas bag. 
"Hello everyone, this is Riley. She's our new patient. Do you wanna say hi sweetheart?" Wanda looks at her and smiles, squishing her shoulders. 
"Hi." She says in almost a whisper.
"What's that hon? Here come put your lips on my dick I'll hear you then!" Greg says. One of the reasons he's here is sex addiction. Go figure. 
I stand up and walk over to the last table. Where him and the 2 fake bitches and their followers sit. I pick him up by his shirt collar.
"I don't know who the FUCK you think you are but if you're looking for something to stick in this, these 2 young ladies right here are always loose and wide open for you." 
"What? You think you're hot shit cause you're claimed to be the most attractive in this group? Please. Kiss my ass I have the biggest dick and you're the one with the faggot hair."
"Sit on a dick, Greg. Not like you haven't before." I let go of his shirt and go back to my table with Derek. 
Wanda looks at me. "Ya know ya little rendezvous need to stop okay I understand you're an alpha male and are trying to protect this pretty young lady but she seems to be doing okay now," Wanda gleams again. "Look at how pretty she is. Beat Beyoncé's ass in a beauty pageant girl." Same. I thought.
Riley giggles. Wow that's really fucking cute. "I don't think so. And don't. She's right you don't need to fight for me. I can defend myself against assholes," She snickers. "What's your name?"
"Parker. Parker Emmonds. And you're Riley. I'm not gonna ask you what's your's because why make myself look like a complete idiot."
"Good choice."
"Is this seat take- just kidding." She smiles sitting down next to me.
I chuckle. "I like you already."
"Wow! That's incredible! Did you do art in school?" Looking at my drawing of Bonnie.
"Yeah. It was okay, I guess." I try to cover it with my right hand.
"Well it looks like you enjoyed it at least a little bit. Look how well you've done!" 
Her hand reaches into her canvas bag and she takes out a brand new sketch pad. "You know that actually looks kind of like my sister, Shayna. She was beautiful," She grins. "So when my house burnt down my parents had like insurance on insurance and then life insurance on their after lives and they gave it all to my grandparents well they're in the hospital dying so now I got all the money," She pulled out a picture of her family from when she was younger. She was little, about 5. And I knew which sister was Shayna, because she was right. She looked exactly like Bonnie. But Riley looked so different. So innocent and so naive and pure and untouched in that picture. I wish we all could be like that again. "So I went and they let me spend it one new clothes and things before I got here. Except the most depressing thing is, is that I couldn't get a new phone," She put the picture back in her pocket swiftly, like she didn't want anyone to see it. "I'm sorry if I'm really talkative I just haven't been able to talk to anyone in a long time. Ooh! Look it!"
I smirked and laughed at her the whole time she was talking to me. She's adorable and she's like a child now that she's free. But in a good way. Like in the 'free spirit' way. 
"Oh my God. And then they let me have chocolate and McDonalds and frosties for the first time in 7 years and I was crying. My little brother, Alfie would've loved it. He loved to munch and just non stop eat shit food."
There was times where Der would try to put himself into the conversation but even I wasn't in the conversation she was just talking on and on, and I could listen to her for hours. Her sweet, raspy voice. I just wanted to kiss all the scars on her body. Just like if I were my mum again and they would just dissapear and float away. Imagine how much simpler life would be if the world loved itself like a mother loved a child. 
She looked at me with eager eyes and then at Derek. 
"Oh my God, I completely forgot to ask your name." She says tapping her fingers.
"Derek. I'm Parker's best friend here." He smiles trying to act suave. I nod towards her fingers.
They start pounding faster and her nails hit the table.
"Riley," I whisper. "Are you okay? I'm here, Riley."
She snaps back and breathes through her nose and grins. "Hey, what's up?"
"Are you okay?" Derek asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine why?" She asks looking concerned. 
"You just like... detached." I say. 
"Oh, I didn't notice. When do we go back to like, anywhere else but here? It's really fucking boring in here."
"It's like this everywhere." Derek murmurs.
"We're leaving in like 32 seconds."
She laughs. "How do you know exactly 32?"
"Just by looking at the clock."
And sure enough, 27 seconds after that in barges Wanda. "Come on my beautiful butterflies, it's time for lunch."
Riley packs away her sketch book. I leave my drawing on the table and get up from the chair. 
"Hey! Giant boy! Aren't you going to take this?" She says, holding up my portrait.
I shake my head.
 "Fine I'll take it. A Parker original." Riley puts the paper in her canvas bag.
"Really?" I say. 
"Hell yeah! Why wouldn't I?" 
"I don't know. Because people aren't like you."
"What do you mean by that?" She says, with her head held down.
"You see beauty in things that aren't beautiful," I chuckle. "Like Bonnie."
"Is Bonnie the girl in the picture?" 
"Yes. My ex girlfriend, ex fiancé whatever."
"Aren't you only 17?"
"Turning 18."
"Eh okay," She says looking at her socks. Hello Kitty. Cute. "You can talk about it with me if you want. You don't have to you only just met me. I'm the new weird girl who's on the news and is wearing Hello Kitty socks and a Barbie T-Shirt,"
I didn't notice the Barbie tshirt. Cute again. And she noticed, I noticed the socks. Point deduction. 
"But I'll listen, promise," She says lifting out her pinky. She laughs. "Just do it, for me please."
I smirk and lift my pinky and wrap it around hers. My finger is twice the size of hers. 
"So," She says diving on to one of the red bean bag chairs and giggling, sighing. "So comfortable. I could lay in this all day,"
The entire bean bag wrapped around her like a giant caccoon and she was almost molded inside it. 
"Riley," I hesitated. "You lost a baby?"
She hid her head in her arms. "Yes. Emile's. His name was Jacob. But he didn't let me keep him because I was too young, under the law." She looked out to the fountain outside of the window. "So he drowned him and made me watch. He let Alyssa keep her daughter,"

I look at her stunned. "I thought he killed him while you were pregnant."

She shook her head. "No, he wanted me to see him before he took him from me. His own type of torture."

"What about the other girl's daughter?"

"Ana." She smiled and shook her head. "Alyssa didn't even want her or take care of her, so I did. I wanted that baby so bad. She was beautiful, like Alyssa. Alyssa just couldn't stand that it was Emile's. But it's your babygirl. You held her with you. You can't just throw her aside," She smiled again. "Emile doesn't have strong genes, I guess because none of his children looked like him. Jacob looked exactly like me. Even Emile's daughters he lived with before," She sniffled.  "Didn't look like him," She looked up into the clouds outside the window, closed her eyes, and a grin creeped across her face. "Jacob was beautiful baby."
"I'm so sorry, Rilley. I was supposed to be a dad, too," I say laying on the blue bean bag next to her. "But, Bonnie killed her. Not like he did," I looked at my palms. "Just an abortion." 
"It's like killing apart of yourself." She says almost in a whisper. And I knew she was about to cry but I didn't know if I should hug her. If she was the hugging type after all she had been through. I just wanted her. Not in a sexual way. Yeah she was sexy. Like extremely. I can't lie about that. But, she can't be that. She's Riley. She's delicate, and funny, and sweet, and insightful, and god damn she might as well have perfect written on her because she is. I want her. I want her to be mine. But, I know she can't and that burns worse than the first time you shoot up. I only just met the girl today and she makes me feel like I'm flying. I know I go fast. I fall fast. I'm that guy. But, Jesus Christ. If you saw this girl, you'd be just as intoxicated by her.  
"I wish I could've seen her," 
I play with my nail beds. "Her name was going to be Mae,"

She grins. "I'm sure she's gorgeous,"

I look at her eyes, they give off such a look of happiness but I am so utterly confused. "What do you mean? She was never even born,"
"You don't need to see something to know it's true." She says, running her fingers through my hair and looking me straight in the eyes. 
Oh my fuck that sends all of my nerves on end every hair on my body stands up. I have so many goosebumps. I look away. She draws her hand back and turns to look out of the window again. 

She starts humming a song and I hear her start to whisper out a few words. I'm scared. I don't want to fall in love. Not fucking again. I just listen to the sound of her voice and fall asleep in the beanbag chair. 

"I won't hold my tongue. I'm not okay without you here. I guess what's done is done, I just feel so exposed without you here. You always taught me to be good and always do my best to be selfless but I know that God is holding you and I am so damn jealous. Because I miss your arms around me and the way you make me laugh and now I'm stuck inside this prison that says you're never coming back... Hmmm... Hmmm. Hmmm.. I'm not okay without you here." 

When I wake up Riley is no where to be found. I search the entire room. The beanbag that laid next to mine still had her imprint in it. Everyone was still in here, it had only been 34 minutes of our 1 hour break. I look at every inch and every corner of the room and she isn't anywhere. I go up to Bean. A security guard type douche, standing at the door.

"Bean, where did the new girl go?"

"Wherever I let her go, Emmonds." He answers. His voice is -3000 decibels. 

"Listen, I just need to find her, okay. Where did she go?"

"She's in her room. And you're not allowed there."

"Bean, please dude. I'm just asking you once for one favor."

"Step back, Parker."

"Bean, please. I'm begging."

He looks out of the doors. "You better not get me in any fucking trouble kid, you hear me?"

"Yes, yes! My, Dear Bean. Oh how I love you!" 

"Get the hell out of here. She's in 227."

I ran out of that fucking room like a bat out of hell. Down the first hall through the corridor that leads to the girls hall and down to the 220 odds. At the end of the hall is room 229. No fucking surprise they placed her right next to Lindsey and Diana. Fucking sluts. Across the way is 227. On the door is a pink welcome sign with Riley's name written in sparkling script. Wow. In the guys hall we don't get anything but, "Hey what the fuck's good? Watch out for Greg, he might come up behind you in the shower while you aren't looking and slap the soap out of your hand." I'm cautious, but I press on the handle and open the door. Inside Riley is at the one size fits all Healing Hearts desk, staring outside again. Everyone gets a desk when they come here. In your room you have: a bed, a closet, a wardrobe, a desk, and a bathroom. But the bathroom is only a sink and toilet. You have to shower in the shower rooms with everyone else. Saves water. Damn. As I walk I notice she's like me. She's one of the people who are quote on quote 'crazy enough' to have their own rooms.

I knock on the wall next to the door. "Riley?"

Her head turns and she smiles. "Hey, Parker."

"Can I come in?" When I look around the corner I see she has a mountain of clothes and books and extra sheets ad comforters.

"Yeah. I'm just reading. They're telling me to keep my school work up. But one thing Emile always had in his basement was 'War and Peace.' And he never found it or took it from me. I've read it over a 1000 times I think," She smirks. "I've lost count. But I'm gonna make a fort," She giggles. "I never got to with my brothers like I promised to the day I got abducted. So I figured it's time to let Shiloh and Alfie have their time to shine in my heart. As if they didn't already," She giggled. "Do you want to help?" She grab some books and pillows and plopped them on the floor in the center and laughed again. "I don't really know what I'm doing."

I grin. "I would love to help you build a fort," I grab her desk chair and a comforter and start laying things together. "What are you reading?"

"Well, a collection of things." She says, grabbing some sheets and a mass of pillows. "Do I use these to make the walls?"

"Yeah!" I say. "I was thinking of using the desk chair and rounding it about the bed and we'll put the pillows up around it," I watch her eyes as she nods and places the pillows along the edge of the bedside and chair. "What are these collections?"

"Well," She says, throwing and straightening out a white sheet. "Lord of the Flies, Looking for Alaska, Night, The Original Alice in Wonderland, A giant book of Edgar Allen Poe poems, and I'm trying to get over my phobia of clowns, but I don't think it's working, but I'm reading IT by Stephen King."

"That's a lot," I say, folding the final sheet corner. "How do you keep up with all the story lines?"

She giggles and crawls into the tiny fort walls. "Who cares?! Come on!" 

I laugh and crawl in after her. "Wait for me!" I push past the books and sit on the pillow right next to her. 

Her eyes wonder around the fort, they light up like the Christmas lights they're putting up right now with the little kids. Christmas is 28 days away. Mae was supposed to be born on Christmas. And I wish she still was. 

She lays her head on my shoulder. Her hair smells like strawberries. Rain starts pounding on the roof.

"Does it rain a lot in Vancouver?" She says. I watch her eyes blink and trace the seams of the sheets.

"For me, it does." 

"What do you mean?" She says as she grabs my hand.

My body tightens. When I feel the soft curves in her hands, the muscles relax and turn to jello again. "I mean that it's always raining in my head."

"Well," She says, lacing her fingers in between mine. "I adore the rain. It kept me company while everyone else was either sleeping or crying. I was never allowed to talk. So I let the rain talk to me," She laughs. "I sound like a hippie."

I smirk and squeeze her hand. "I like it though," Leaning my head on top of hers. "Makes everything intricate and special. Beautiful."

"It is beautiful, isn't it? Listen to the sound of it."

"I meant you were beautiful." I sigh and I can't see her face but I can feel her cheeks warming up, and I know she's blushing. 

"You're just a mental ward Casanova, huh?" She laughs, and I have no idea how but she somehow ended up laying her head in my lap with her head looking up at me. 

"Never did say that," She lifts herself, grabs her hair from behind her back and lays it in front of her head. It's so Goddamn long and shiny. "I don't think anyone has ever told you how gorgeous you are. Just because there's no word."

"You're just saying that because you want to get into my abused girl pants," She says.

"Why would I do that? I've been here for a year and I've never had sex with any girls here. Mr. Righty has been through some tough times," I grin.

She bursts out laughing. "Alright, alright. Fair enough. I just don't. I don't like it's so hard to think of myself anything else but a piece of shit."

I run my fingers through her hair. Which by the way takes like 5 fucking minutes. "You are so not. You have no idea. You don't deserve to hurt anymore," I lift her up so she's sitting in my lap. I breathe in and hold it. Oh God what the fuck am I about to do? 

I kiss the scars and bruises on her neck, along her jaw line, kiss her softly on the lips. I hold on to her chin.

That's it Parker, You done fucked up. 

She looks into my eyes and whispers. "You're not trying to fill me in for her place are you?"

I shake my head, she's talking about Bonnie. "Absolutely not," I lean my forehead against hers, breathing silently, looking into my lap. I feel her warm breath against my neck. "I don't even know you and I want you."

She wraps her arms around my neck. "I know, I feel it too," She kisses me again softly.

"How can that happen though?" I look into her deep, green eyes. They're exploring every inch of my face.

"You don't need to see something to know it's true." 


~Parker's Picture~


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