Lauren is an orphan who knows how to take care of herself. Never did she expect to find support in Mr Hull her science teacher.

Watch as their relationship develops into something both wonderful and rocky.


1. Everything was not going to be ok

It is a fact that you can’t feel ‘at home’ when you’re somewhere else. Nobody knows that more, or so I believe, than children in care; i.e. me. You know that moment when your parents tell you that ‘There is always someone else that is worse of than you’ and you just can’t believe it because you either feel so upset, or you’re in so much pain; but there is. You may not believe it, but at this present moment – as you’re reading this – there are people being made homeless, attacked, in a whole manner of ways, and/or dying – that may not be the best thought you have ever had, but it’s true. However, on the other hand, there are also people falling in love, kissing and writing love letters – I know the thought disgusts me also. The world’s a funny place, and everyone has to learn this, one way or another 


I can’t say that I have ever fitted in at Rickshaw care home. I know everyone’s name, but I don’t know who they are. They are only people whom I share a house with, and even then it’s not a family; every single one of us is waiting to be carted of somewhere else or, if luck exists, we’ll find a place to call home. Nevertheless, to me, it still wont be…’home’, I think that’s a fear that we all share. Some want to forget the past, some want to create a future, but I just want to enjoy what I have now, I want to remember the past and I can create a future. But I can’t find the motive to do any of those things. The past hurts; the future is too far away and now… now is confusing. In fact it’s clear that the only thing I can tell all my thoughts to is my journal; surely that’s not normal?


When it all boils down there is only one person who can be blamed for my current address – my stepmother Alice; when people think of stepmothers they either imagine beautiful women that will shower ‘their’ children with sweets and money, or you imagine an evil, crooked hag that despises children. I suppose I got a mixture of both; mine had beauty, my dad’s money and she hated children. I would always tell myself that my father was going through a lonely phase – that lasted for four years – but a phase nonetheless. Though in spite of telling myself this all the time I could see that he loved her, and she made him happy. He would look at her all the time and say “Garry and Alice” just because he couldn’t believe his ‘luck’.


Despite of Loving Alice, my father adored my mother Jane. Though unfortunately my mother passed away when I was born, she suffered from postnatal depression and it’s still suspected that she killed herself, regardless of the claims of natural causes; I wish I knew her. Then when I was eleven my father passed away leaving Alice everything, including an unwanted piece of baggage – me. The funeral had been held and the inevitable separation was in near future, I could feel it.


Not even two weeks had passed after the funeral when Alice had contacted child services. I walked into the living room when I was confronted by two men and a hysterical woman perched in my father’s armchair. Alice often did this, as she was aware of the distress it caused me.

“Hello Lauren.” The First man said with his strong northern accent, he indicated that I should sit down.

“Do you know why we’re here?” The second asked, with an even stronger northern accent.

“I can’t say that I’m fully aware.” I lied.

“Well my name is Sam; and I’m from child services.” I inhaled deeply fighting my tears, I nodded.

“Right.” I wanted to throw myself at Alice, I’m sure she could sense it too.

“Would you like us to explain why we’re here?” Offered the Latter

“That would be nice.” It would have been interesting to find out what excuse Alice had thought up. The two men took it in turns filling me in on what they had been discussing while I was out. Apparently Alice had told them that the loss of her husband and the stress caused by the negative influence that was me, proved to be too much for her. She claimed that she wasn’t able to give me the emotional support that I needed, hence her choice to contact child services. “But, this is my home.” I pleaded.

“I know.” Sam empathized.

“Look why don’t you go and pack a suitcase.” The second suggested.

“What about the rest of my things?”

“They’ll get packed and sent to the care home.” It was all so real now. I went up stairs and packed my suitcase I had clothes, underwear, Pajamas, wash things and towels. I also had a backpack for my other possessions such as my journal, my phone, books and so on. I slumped downstairs and Sam was waiting for me.

“Hello love, right we’ve done this half of paper work so if you’re ready.” If i’m ‘ready’? what doer of question was that? He ushered me to the door; I stepped out then turned to look at Alice.

“He trusted you!” That’s all I had to say to her, and all that I have said since. The second man cleared his throat in order for me to look at him. He was standing with his legs apart and his hands on his waist his arms parted his jacket and showed a glimpse of a gold badge; this was clearly deliberate; a pathetic attempt to prove his authority I assume – argh male bravado what a waste. Sam glared at him.

“Shaun!” He warned. He then looked me in the eyes with his hand on my shoulder, “Everything is going to be ok.” I pulled away with a final scowl at Alice and Shaun, before slumping into the back of the car I slammed the door. 


That day I had decided that I was going to have to make it on my own, that I was never going to rely 

on anyone and that I had to except that everything was not going to be ok.

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