No Matter What - Part 1

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  • Published: 13 Jun 2015
  • Updated: 17 Jun 2015
  • Status: Complete
George is diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a type of Autism. He has been going to a boy's boarding school since he was seven. The other boys bully him, and he can't control his emotions properly.

One day he meets the strange and mysterious Sam, the only boy he's really ever known who doesn't tease him or try to make him angry. So what will happen when George starts to fall for this wonderful and distant boy?

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11. George

I run. I run as fast as I can, to the dorm, to the cloakroom, and down the hill. I think I see Miss Palton peering out of a window but I don’t stop to check. My shoulders are shaking and I can’t see where I’m going very well. As I’m running, I see the shape of a person down below me, looking up, staring in my direction. Suddenly they’re running too, up to meet me. I don’t realise who it is until I run headlong into them.

Sam and I roll down the hill clinging tightly to each other, wondering why we aren’t at the bottom yet. When we finally sit up, I realise I’m still shaking and there’s a wailing noise coming from somewhere. Suddenly, loud, hysterical sobs echo around and I feel as if I’ve been torn apart. My heart wrenches itself out of my body, leaving a massive hole. I curl myself over, clutching my ribcage to hold it together. My mind can’t work. I can only think of the hole full of flames, licking my body, threatening to burn me to pieces, into hell. My head explodes. My throat aches with burning fire as screams rip themselves from my guts and break me.

We are sitting next to a young sapling, when I realise that I need to hurt something else. In seconds I’m pulling the sapling, bending in down to the ground. My back arcs up, pressing my head and feet to the floor. It wasn’t working.

In the end I was ripping the branches off, tears blocking my vision. Sam has a shocked look on his face, mouth open and eyes wide. I don’t process this as my vision blurs once again.

Sam is rubbing my back in soothing circles and I start to calm down. The noise fades and I hug Sam as hard as I can, burying my face in his clothes. He rocks me backwards and forwards gently, softly singing. I feel the blackness closing in around me. My eyes are heavy, pulling me down. I sink, lower, lower, drifting down into peace. I try to fight it, open my mouth to try to say Sam’s name but all that comes out is a little squeak. Sam hugs me tighter and I feel myself drifting once more, this time welcoming the blackness, pulling it around me. I want it to take me away. To forget. To dream.

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