Thus With A Kiss I Die

I was homeless, he was practically royalty.
I was broken, he was perfect.
I had a past I couldn't forget, he had a past you wouldn't want to.
We were not made for each other in this world, so we built a sanctuary where we were made of each other.
He was my oxygen, and then they took him away?


1. 1.1

He pins me against the wall with both hands at my waist, he trails passionate kisses down my naked torso. He is on his knees when he gets to my belt, and moves both hands to the the buckle, quickly undoing and discarding it. He kisses my stomach again and a flood of anxiety rushes over me.

I can't do this.

I place both hands on his shoulders and he looks up, 'You okay?' He asks, moving his hands to mine and interlocking my fingers, I feel my chest heave, my lungs failing me. I feel faint. He stands up pulling me closer. With his hands on my back, he kisses my jaw. 'It's okay' he whispers. I close my eyes, big mistake: Suddenly his hands are not his, his lips are someone else's. I panic, pushing him away, kicking and shoving trying to get him off. He holds me closer, tighter.

'Baby don't you love me' the voice of my nightmares, deep and unsettling. The words claw at my skin, making the scars on my back burn with the memories of how they were created.

'Frank!' Gerard's voice is filled with fear. I open my eyes, everything is blurry. I look around, Gerard is on the ground before me, holding his nose, his hands are covered in blood.

Did I do that? Fuck. He looks up at me, his eyes are apologetic. I look to my left, Gerard's younger brother Mikey is standing in the door way "Get out you little fuck" Gerard shouts, Mikey hurries away closing the door behind him. Gerard gets to his feet, picking up his shirt and wiping his bloody hands on it. "I'm sorry babe" he whispers "I should have asked, I didn't mean to-" I pull him close and wrap my arms around him, holding him so tight I'm surprised he can breathe.

'Shush, it's okay' I tell him, nestling myself into his chest. "It's my fault" he hugs me back.

'Babe, don't blame yourself, I should have thought it through'

'Shut up' there is an awkward silence, I look up at him. 'I love you' he smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

'I love you too Frank'

We stand like this for a long time; my left hand playing with his longish red hair and my right on his belt. Both his arms wrap tightly around me, his right thumb stroking my shoulder. I feel the cold wall against my back and his warm breath on my neck.

You did it again, killed a beautiful passionate moment, for god sake Frank, get over yourself.

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