The list of things I have done (and should not do again) when in the midst of humanity

A list of things I've done in my life that have either lost my dignity or the others around me. I hope my tales entertain.


1. A few numbers

1.    Okay. This one is a problem because I have done it about twice now. Whenever I get a nosebleed – and there is no tissues that could pop up from anywhere- we must not use a plastic bag from Morrison’s. Plastic bags are not good substitutes for tissues, especially when your in the middle of your nose having a period.
2.    Do not accept blue coloured drinks from the dodgy kid you sit next to in Spanish. There was this one pupil at my school, who smuggled WKD into school through is not-one-bit-translucent water bottle. After I found out he offered me some, to which I declined. He never got caught; no one suspected a thing. So by the end of the day, he was walking down the road from school drunk.
3.    Do not bang flavoured carbonated water on the side of a table just so it may loosen the lid. Whenever we have done that, the water (every time) has gone and fizzed up and made a mess.
4.    Do not open bathroom doors without knocking. Seriously, some scarred for life sights have been seen!
5.    Don't carry around your sanitary towels in a large Vaseline tin. Okay, so. Story behind this is that I did have a Vaseline tub of sanitary towels. One boy at my school decided to go rummaging in my bag, unnoticed. He then got the Vaseline tub and opened It, towels sprawling out over the floor.
6.    Whenever you and your friend are in a public toilet, and you hear them (and know it's them) peeling off a sanitary towel, no matter how badly it needs to be asked, do not ask you friend in the loudest obnoxious voice ever, “are you on your period?!” You never know who could be around…


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