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In this Seth MacFarlane cartoon adaption of 'Toy Story 2', Woody (Glenn Quagmire) is kidnapped by Al McWhiggin (Adam West) and Buzz Lightyear (Cleveland Brown) and his friends organizes a rescue mission.
But will Buzz and his team find their missing friend? And will Woody ever want to go back, with the stake of his new friends at risk of going back into storage?


3. The Crime Scene

A crime scene, made out of blocks and other toys, was set up in the middle of Andy’s room. All the toys gathered around.
   “Today on 234 Elm Street News,” said Etch, “at 11: 32am, Woody was kidnapped. And here is a picture of the kidnapper.” Etch produced a sketch of the man who kidnapped Woody. The sketch showed an obese man with long black hair and colourful glasses.
   “I don’t think he had a beard like that,” said Bo Peep.
   “And he wasn’t obese,” added Slinky. “And he didn’t have all that hair.”
   “And he’s not John Lennon,” pointed out Rex. All the toys looked at him. “I was talking about the glasses.”
   “Etch, get rid of the crap you’ve drawn on him,” Hamm said.
   “My apologies for sending you the wrong portrait on the kidnapper,” said Etch. He wiped it and drew a different man on the screen.
   “He didn’t look anything like Bill Gates, especially with that belly he had,” said Potato Head.
   Etch tried to draw the right picture, but all the toys could see was pictures of Matthew Lillard, Sean Penn, Mr. Jeremy Fisher, Homer Simpson and Howard the Duck.
   “Excuse me,” Buzz called, appearing from the other side of Andy’s bed. “Could you keep the noise down, please? Thank you.”
   Everyone walked away from the crime scene and saw Buzz with Mr. Spell. “How about Elton Hercules John?” suggested Mr. Spell.
   “What the heck are you doing, Buzz?” asked Potato Head.
   “It’s some sort of message encoded on that vehicle’s ID tag,” said Buzz.
   “What’s the message?” asked Potato Head. “Come to my feather shop? Where we kill chickens to make bed pillows, huh?”
   “Sexy girl’s bum,” said Mr. Spell.
   “Well, it’s just a licence plate, which is nothing but a jumble of letters,” said Potato Head. “And a few numbers. See? I may be a toy for three-year-olds, but I have the brain of a potato.”
   “You can say that again,” Hamm muttered under his breath.
   “Well, whatever!” muttered Potato Head. “Let’s just let Buzz play with his toy.”
   The toys began to walk away.
   “Toy?” pondered Buzz. “Toy! Hold on!”
   The toys turned back around to see Buzz type something into Mr. Spell. Then the machine said, “Al’s Toy Barn.”
   While the toys murmured about what the hell ‘Al’s Toy Barn’ was, Buzz checked the white feather. “I guess it makes sense,” the space ranger toy said. “But where to find it?”
   All the toys were thinking, but none of them came with any good ideas. Then they heard TV sounds. Everyone turned around to see Rex facing the TV.
   “All this mystery solving is tiring me out,” he told them. “So I’m gonna play Buzz Lightyear: Attack on Zurg.”
   Just as he was about to turn the game on, Buzz saw a commercial coming up. “Rex, hold it!” he yelled at the dinosaur.
   Buzz and the toys got up on the TV stand and watched the commercial. It was a fat man in a chicken suit. Buzz looked at the feather. Then he quickly turned to Etch. “Etch, draw that man in this chicken suit.”
   Etch did so. The man was now in the chicken suit. “It’s the chicken man!” cried Rex.
   Then the TV showed that behind the chicken was the Al’s Toy Barn building! “That man’s Al!” cried Potato Head.
   Then the location turned into a map of the tri-county and it showed where the barn was. “Copy that map, Etch!” ordered Buzz.
   Etch did so.
   “That’s where I have to go,” said Buzz.
   “Thank you for copying the map; well done,” muttered Etch.
Ignoring him, Buzz went straight to copying the map on Etch onto a piece of paper.
   “You can’t go, Buzz!” said Rex. “You’ll never make it there.”
   “Well, I have three good reasons for going,” Buzz said. “A: Because it’s no fun without Woody here. B: I’m stick of watching you lose on that Buzz Lightyear game all the time and C: Woody once risked his life to save me. How could I call myself his friend if I weren’t willing to do the same? Now, I need some volunteers.”
   All the toys just looked at each other and all said “no”.
   “Woody doesn’t like me,” said Slinky.
   “I think I know how to defeat Zurg on my video game this time,” said Rex.
   “And I’m married now,” said Potato Head, looking nervously at his wife. “I have to stay and look after her.”
   And all the toys left.
   Buzz just got himself ready. Then Hamm came along. “Hey, I want in.”
   “Why the change-of-mind?” asked Buzz.
   “Because there aren’t any good movies around here,” replied Hamm. “The only ones we got are so crap that I think I can have a better adventure out there.”
   “Glad to have you aboard,” smiled Buzz. Then he noticed Slinky coming besides him. “Slinky, I know Woody doesn’t like you, but if you try to rescue him, he might be a better friend to you.”
   “How do I know you’re not just saying that just so you’re using me?” asked Slinky.
   Buzz tried to think of something good. “Because if Woody was the leader of this rescue group, would he let you come?” asked Buzz.
   “No,” replied Slinky. That compliment made him feel better.
   “Glad it worked,” Buzz whispered to himself.
   “Come on, let’s go, before the missus finds me,” said Potato Head.
   “Anyone else?” asked Buzz.
   Then they heard video game beeps coming from the TV. For the hundredth time, Rex had lost again and was swearing his head off.
   “Hey, Rex, you wanna a break from that game and do something heroic for real?” Buzz called to him.
   “Hmm, okay,” said Rex.

Buzz and the rescue team were out of Andy’s room and on the roof beneath it. Slinky went first so he could lower his bottom for the toys to get down.
   “Go down? By holding his ass?” Potato Head nervously backed away. “What if he pees or poops while we hover?”
   “I’m made of plastic, Potato Head,” snapped Slinky. “And I don’t drink or eat anyway. So stop spilling crap and just get down there.”
   Potato Head did so. Then it was Hamm’s turn. Then Rex tried to catch Slinky’s ass but it fell down and him with it. He caught it and was flying up and down with it.
   “Stop holding my ass and let go, will you?” snapped Slinky. “We’re not gay toys, you know.” Rex finally let go.
   Buzz turned around to face the remaining toys left in Andy’s room. “We’ll be back before Andy returns,” he told them.
   “Don’t talk any toy you don’t know,” Mrs. Potato Head told them. “And watch out for creatures with diseases, like stray dogs, prostitutes and the homeless. And watch out for their toys, too.  They might be less harmless than they look.” 
   “To Al’s Toy Barn and beyond!” said Buzz, as he grabbed Slinky’s ass and went down. Finally, Slinky caught his own ass and went down.
   The team was on their way now.

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