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In this Seth MacFarlane cartoon adaption of 'Toy Story 2', Woody (Glenn Quagmire) is kidnapped by Al McWhiggin (Adam West) and Buzz Lightyear (Cleveland Brown) and his friends organizes a rescue mission.
But will Buzz and his team find their missing friend? And will Woody ever want to go back, with the stake of his new friends at risk of going back into storage?

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9. A Mess at Tri-County Airport International

The toys got into the Pizza Truck.
   “I’ll drive,” said Buzz. “Slink, take the pedals. Rex, you navigate. Hamm and Potato Head, operate the levers and knobs.”
   “Excuse me,” coughed a coughing voice. They looked up to see three Pizza Planet aliens hanging from the ceiling.
   “This Pizza Planet truck doesn’t belong to you,” said the second one.
   “Hey, put a cough in it, all right?” snapped Buzz. “We don’t have time for charities today. Rex, any sign?”
   “Well, all I can see is Al’s car at a red light,” reported Rex.
   “Punch it, Slink!” ordered Buzz.
   Slink pushed the accelerator down, but the truck didn’t move.
   “Why won’t it go?” yelled Buzz. “Rex, how is he?”
   “I think he’s in a hurry to get to the airport,” said Rex.
   “Oh, that’s not good,” said Buzz. Then he realise what Rex told him. “No, whereabouts is he?”
   “I think he went a couple of traffic lights ago,” said Rex.
   “If only I could get this thing going!” snapped Buzz.
   “Use the wand of power,” coughed the ill aliens together.
   “What?” Potato Head said.
   “The gear stick behind ya, you twit!” snapped one alien.
   Potato Head turned around and pulled it back. And the truck was off!
   “Rex, which way?” asked Buzz as he steered the wheel.
   “Left,” said Rex. “No, he’s turning left. I mean, right! He’s going back right!”
   “We may need some help, Hamm!” cried Buzz.
   “How can we get help?” asked Hamm.
   “This thing has Bluetooth!” snapped Buzz. “Use the phone and call for help!”
   “Okay,” said Hamm. He got the mobile phone and dialled 999. “Hello, I need in assistance of the Batmobile, James Bond’s Aston Martin – the Goldfinger version – the Ecto-1, the A-Team van and the Gadgetmobile.
   “Buzz, he’s turning left!” screamed Rex.
   Buzz quickly turned the wheel around so fast that the truck jerked around the corner. That caused the string that held the aliens together to snap off and they were heading out of the window.
   “No time for puns or anything to slow down now,” said Potato Head. “Time for me to be a hero now.”
   He reached the window and caught the string holding the aliens outside the truck.
   Rex told Buzz to go right so the truck went right and Potato Head’s fat arms managed to pull them up to safety inside the truck.
   The aliens were even freed from the string.
   “You have saved our lives, kind sir!” said the aliens. “We are eternally grateful!”
   “Yeah, well, don’t mention it,” said Potato Head, walking away.

 


The Pizza Planet truck finally arrived at the Tri-County International Airport and parked on the zebra crossing.
   “Guys, we can’t park here!” said Rex. “It’s the white zone!”
   “Like at the Airport!” said Slinky. “It’s from the movie, Airport! Get it?”
   “You have saved our asses, kind sir,” said the aliens to Potato Head. “You have our deepest gratitude.”
   “There he is,” Buzz pointed out, spotting Al at the check-in counters.
   The space toy looked around to find a way to get in the airport unnoticed and he found one.

 


The airport entrance opened to an airport pet carriage that walked in, unnoticed by the passengers. Not even noticing Buzz’s legs carrying it inside.
   “You have saved our souls, kind sir,” said the aliens. “How can we ever thank you?”
   “By pissing off and taking your diseases with you!” snapped a frustrated Potato Head.
   Buzz took the pet carriage to the conveyor belt behind the check-in officer Al was dealing with.
   “Now, listen, fly boy,” snapped Al. “The contents of that case is my last chance for glory. You got it, sport!”
   “I understand, Mr. McWhiggin,” said the check-in officer. “I’ve seen Batman and remember the lessons you taught me.”
   “Did you see I’ll be a Mummy’s Uncle?” asked Al. “That’s one of my favourites.”
   The check-in officer didn’t reply.

 


The pet carrier was right behind Al’s green case.
   “Once we go through, we just need to find that case,” Buzz told the toys.
   “That shouldn’t be a problem,” said Potato Head. “As long as that’s the only case and no more.”
   But there was a lot more suitcases on the maze of conveyor belts.
   “Oh,” moaned Potato Head.
   Down they went on the conveyor belt. They crashed into a big brown case and that sent them out of the carrier.
   “There’s the case!” pointed out Slinky.
   “No, there’s the case!” cried out Hamm.
   “No, there’s the case!” pointed out Potato Head. He was pointing to a courtroom play set with the judge, the lawyers and the jury moving along the belt.
   “This case is closed!” said the judge, as he banged his gravel.
   “Your Honour,” said one of the lawyers. “We have no one on trail.”
   “You take that one,” ordered Buzz to all the toys except Slinky who ran with him. “We’ll take this one.”

 


Potato Head, Hamm, Rex and the aliens ran after the green case they saw. They caught and opened it.
   “Woody!” they cried.
   But Woody wasn’t in it. They were disappointed, except Hamm.
   “Nice hot babes in those Playboy magazines, though!” he said.
   “Another green case!” cried Rex, as he pointed to another green case. They ran after it and discovered that the case had…
   “The complete career of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer?” cried Hamm. “On DVD? What the (bleep)?”
   The toys saw plenty of green cases, but there was a case of girls’ underwear, a case worth of two million dollars (which they took), a case of electric eels in water and a case of weapons.
   “What kind of airport allows people to put weapons in cases?” asked Slinky.
   “It says this case belongs to James Bond, Secret Agent 007 of MI6,” Rex said on the case of weapons.

 


Buzz and Slinky kept their eyes on the case they were chasing. Buzz could jump over the cases easily. Slinky did well at first, but after about five cases, his ass got stuck behind the handle of a suitcase. The luggage his feet were stuck on was going into a different lane.
   “Buzz, my ass is going to Burma!” yelled Slinky.
   “Say hi to Rambo from me!” Buzz cried back, before he ran past more cases. Finally, he caught up to the green case. “Ok, Woody, let’s get the hell outta here!” he cried, as he opened the case.
   But it wasn’t Woody he met first. It was Stinky Pete who punched him in the face. Poor Buzz went over the belt.
   “Take that, space dust-sucker!” shouted the evil prospector.
   “Hey, no one does that to my friend!” yelled Woody.
   He pushed Stinky Pete out of the case and he tried to hit him, but the fat bastard pushed Woody away. Stinky Pete stood before Woody and cut his arm with his pick.
   Woody gasped. “What the hell was that for?” he snapped.
   “To persuade you to get back in the box together if you don’t want to be in pieces,” said Stinky Pete. “Because if he fixed ya once, he can do it again. Now, get in the box!”
   “Oh, that’s really persuasive,” said Woody. “Threatening me with your plastic pick?”
   “How about this plastic money to get in the box?” said Stinky Pete, getting plastic five cents out of his pockets.
   “Like I’m stupid enough to believe that,” scoffed Woody.
   “How about a lifetime of Japanese beers?”
   “Drinking when I’m depressed? Come on!”
   “You can hump a lot of Japanese dolls.”
   “None of them will be like china doll babe Bo,” Woody said.
   “Then you leave me no choice.” Stinky Pete raised his pick up. Then he got hit by a bullet. Fluff came out. Woody looked to see Buzz and his friends on the belt above was firing guns at Stinky Pete.
   “This is better than flashing him with the cameras in the movie,” said Potato Head. “I always hated Stinky Pete and this is making me feel good.”
   “But what’s Bond going to say when he sees that these weapons are out of ammo?” asked Slinky.
   “Q will get him more,” said Rex.
   At the bottom of his gun was a key ring with a toy version of Q (the Desmond Llewellyn version) on it.
   “You guys are worse than 007,” said Q.
   Buzz and his friends jumped down and kept firing at Stinky Pete. Buzz finally caught the bastard prospector.
   “You assholes!” Stinky Pete snapped. “Children destroy toys. You’ll all be ruined, forgotten, squished, squashed and (bleep)! Spending eternity, rotting and getting raped by diseased whore toys in some landfill!”
   “Well, Stinky Pete,” said Woody, “if that’s what you really think, I think it’s time you learned the true meaning of playtime. Right over there, guys!”
   “Oh, God, no!” cried Stinky Pete, as Buzz took him closer and closer to something. “Oh, please, God, no! Anything but that! NO!”


At the baggage claim, a pink Barbie bag came out with Stinky Pete on it.
   “Look, Barbie!” exclaimed a little girl, who was the owner of the bag. “A big ugly man doll. Eww! Does he need a makeover or what?”
   She slipped Barbie into the bag next to Stinky Pete and then she put her bag on her back. Stinky Pete came to life and was shivering nervously.
   “Hi,” greeted Barbie. “Don’t worry, you’ll really like Amy. She’s an artist. She’s the new Annie Leibovtiz!”
   “The new Annie Leibovtiz?” And Stinky Pete started crying as Amy walked to join her parents.

 


“I wish you a living hell with that little terror, Prospector,” said Woody.
   “Woody, we need some help over here!” cried Hamm.
   The toys were lifting the green case high enough for the rest of the roundup toys to get out. Bullseye got out.
   “Free at last, man!” sighed Bullseye.
   “How the Halle Berry am I suppose to get out of here?” asked Jessie, as she tried to get out.
   “Jessie!” cried Woody.
   Woody tried to pull Jessie out, but the green case was already down the chute and ready to be put on the baggage cart.
   “Come on, Buzz!” cried Woody as he and his best buddy jumped on Bullesye.
   “Ride like the wind, Bullseye!” ordered Woody.
   “All right, just like in the damn boring show, said Bullseye. “Only this is more exciting and more thrilling!”
   Bullseye slid down the chute and off. He gave chase to the trolley.
   “Giddy Up!” yelled Woody.
   “Come on, Bullseye, yah!” yelled Buzz.
   “If I’m so slow,” moaned Bullseye, “why don’t you try it? I can’t go no faster!”
   “Buzz, get me a boost!” ordered Woody, as he climbed onto the space ranger’s shoulders. He was trying to grab one of the name tags from one of the cases from the fourth baggage cart. He finally caught it and was flying on it.
   “Woody!” cried Buzz, as Woody moved away from him and Bullseye.
   Woody climbed up on the tag. He was finally on top of the cases. He looked ahead and saw the green case was in the first cart. He ran to reach the end of the fourth cart. While he was running, he met a bunch of exotic Tribe toys armed with bows and arrows.
   “Not today, guys,” said Woody, as he passed them.
   Then he jumped over the third cart, avoiding the snapping crocodiles, and landing on the second one. He ran for the first cart.
   “I feel good!” exclaimed Woody. “All this exercise is doing me good. Better than when Andy’s playing with me. I’m starting to regret going back to him.”
   “Hey, you’re talking and thinking like Stinky Pete, you know, man,” cried Bullseye.
   “Oh, my god,” cried Woody. “You’re right!”
   Then he jumped into the first cart before the truck towing the whole pile stopped. The green case was being loaded onto the plane already. It was followed by a golf bag. The zip of the little pocket opened and Woody came out, but he was being held by two teddy bears dressed in golf gear.
   “Don’t go!” said one of the bears.
   “Yeah, we’ll have lots of fun,” said the second one.
   Woody managed to shake them off.
   “We need company!” cried the bears together.
   “You guys have got each other, you homo bears,” said Woody, running to the green case.
   “Yeah, he’s right, you know,” said the second bear to the first bear, looking at him romantically.
   The first bear slapped him. “I’m not gay, you know!”
   Woody reached the green case, undid the clips and opened the case. There Jessie was, with her eyes shut tight and dead scared.
   “Excuse me, Ma’am,” said Woody, “but I believe you’re on the wrong flight.”
   “Woody!” exclaimed Jessie, hugging him.
   “Come on, Jess,” said Woody, “let’s get the hell outta here.”
   “But what if Andy doesn’t like me?” asked Jessie.
   “Then I’m sure his little sister Molly will have you,” said Woody.

 


Molly was in a supermarket trolley being pushed around by her mother. They were in at the doll store.
   “Oh, look, sweetie,” said Mrs. Davis. “Aren’t they pretty?”
   “Are you kidding me, Mother?” snapped Molly. “I maybe a girl baby, but even you should know these dolls are too babyish even for me! What do I look to you, three years old?”

 


Back on the plane, Woody and Jessie was trying to get off the plane, but the baggage man was still picking up more baggage.
   “Hold it!” he cried, as he left the cargo hold. “There are a couple more bags coming from the terminal.”
   “Okay, on three,” said Woody to Jessie. “One, two…”
   Then the hatch closed down and the plane started up!
   “Damn!” snapped Woody. “I should’ve said ‘three’ first.”
   “How the hell are we gonna get off this metal bird?” asked Jessie.
   Woody looked ahead. He saw a hatch above the landing gear wheel. “This way, come on!”
   Woody and Jessie went to the hatch and they took it off.
   “Are you sure about this?” asked Jessie.
   “No! Let’s go!” ordered Woody, making his way.
   “I thought ‘no’ means ‘don’t go’!” said Jessie.
   “You want to fall to the ground and get squashed by the plane?” asked Woody. “That’s why they did this thing in the movie and that’s why we’re doing it now.”
   Jessie joined Woody down to the landing gear.
   “Nice and easy,” said Woody. “Clear. Clear. It’s all clear. It’s all…” Then he slipped on some tar. “…not so clear. It’s very slippery!”
   He fell off, but Jessie caught him. “Hold on, Woody!”
   His arm ripped more as if Geri the cleaner had never fix his arm back on. Then his hat flew off, but it was caught.
   “You know you look like an absolute idiot without your hat,” said Buzz, riding on Bullseye, near the wheel.
   Woody saw a little nut above the wheel. “Buzz, get behind the tyres!”
   As Buzz and Bullseye did, Woody pulled out as much as all his pull-string could do and threw it on the nut. “Jessie, let go of the plane!”
   “What? You are sick in the head?”
   “Just pretend it’s the final episode of Woody’s Roundup,” said Woody.
   “With the gold mine and the dynamite?” Jessie pointed out. “And where’s Stinky Pete?”
   “Which one is more daring and more awesome?” asked Woody. “The puppet Woody rescuing the puppet Jessie in that puppet show? Or us, the real Woody and the real Jessie getting out of real life trouble?”
   Jessie let go of the plane and they swooped down to Buzz and Bullseye. The ring of Woody’s pull string came off and he and Jessie managed to land behind Buzz on Bullseye. They watched the plane fly off.
   “We did it!” cried Jessie. “That was definitely Woody’s Finest Hour! And more exciting than the complete TV series on DVD.”
   “Your hat, partner,” smiled Buzz, giving Woody his hat.
   “Thanks for all the trouble you pulled through for me, pal,” said Woody, shaking his hand.
   Then a plane shot past them. They were all stunned by the impact.
   “Let’s go home,” said Woody.
   “Way ahead of you already, Woody,” cried Hamm, as he and the rest of the toys were on the baggage cart.
   “So are these mentally and physically diseased aliens!” moaned Potato Head.

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