She's Over There

Find out what will happen to suicidal Scarlet, and her only friend Kellin. Suicidal, friend Kellin. After tragedies strike so does fate, with her new found acquaintances, the band 5 Seconds Of Summer.

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23. 21.

Chapter 21...

 

"Everything started when I was about 6. My dad kept calling me names like "baby girl," and "baby," things a father shouldn't be calling his daughter. He then took things further and would- fuck. He would touch me. At first it wasn't that big of a deal. Like slapping my ass... Or putting his hands on my waist. Then for the first time he raped me. My own father, raped me." I paused, looking at all the guys. I continued with my eyes lowered.

"He would do it regularly... Like, once or twice a week until I was nine. I felt so helpless and scared all of the time. By the time I was ten, he had slowed down with me only doing it about once a month. Sometimes once every two months."

"When I was ten something was way different about me then the other kids at school and stuff. I secluded myself and would be sad all the time. I didn't have friends. People bullied me because I was different, even though they had no idea why. I then got into heavier music, while everyone else was into that bubblegum pop shit. I started to die my hair and I cut in 'emo' bangs."

"That's when I met my friend Kellin. He was like me, sad, introverted and emo. He didn't have the family like mine but he had his own problems... Lets not get into him too much though..."

"Anyway. We were inseparable. Together forever. He was into music too and he was great. He started a band too, they called it Sleeping With Sirens."

"I'm getting off track. By the time I was fourteen I had just started high school, and the bullying was horrendous. It- it drove me to self harm, for the first time." I looked up for a moment at the boys and their eyes were filled with sadness and pity.

"It got so bad that I would do it every night. When I was 15 I started to have suicidal thoughts..." I paused.

"Hold on I forgot about my mom. So when I was seven, my mother and I were going to go see my grandpa. We were in the elevator and she snapped at me for no reason, she slapped me. That was the first time she ever hit me. But whenever she got mad or drank she would hit me."

"So- but suicidal thoughts. Ah yes. My good friend. I've attempted once and it was Kellin who found me and made me puke up the pills, he saved my life. I then one night cut too deep and was sent to the hospital, I got stitches and was monitored me for a night. That day they sent me to a psych ward. I was there for a week being 'treated.' They had me on some really heavy medication and it was super scary. There was people there who were uh- to say the least... really fucked up."

"Then my story stays the same until now. I was still cutting and suicidal and bullied on a daily basis. The bullying got worse and so did my cuts but that's really it in the change. Until a few weeks ago when Kellin, my one and only friend, committed suicide. I was the one who find him. He called me and told me what he was doing and I rushed over. I made him puke but it was too late. We had him on life support in the hospital but thats not what he would've wanted. Besides he was gone anyway. So we unplugged him." I paused and wiped some tears away.

"That's when I found you guys... I uh- I'm still cutting. Worse then ever. I'm still suicidal... And I'm sorry."

"Throughout my whole life I have had anxiety really bad but honestly its the least of my problems..." I finish.

I look up at them and regret it. All their eyes are on me.

A few tears spill from my eyes and I wipe them away.

"I- um. I want to get a tattoo in memory of Kellin." I said.

They nodded at me in agreement.

"We're really sorry Scarlet." Michael told me for all of them.

I nodded. "Its okay. None of it is your fault. I'm sorry that you guys now have to deal with me." I say.

"We don't mind." Calum speaks up.

I stand up and hug them each, one by one.

"Thank you for telling us all." Ashton says.

I nod. "I thought you should know." I say.

"Can we change the subject?" I ask. "Oh. I have wanted to ask your opinion on this, this is probably more Michael's area of expertise but I want everyone's opinion. So I want to die my hair again. I really like the pastel blue-y purple color I have right now. I quite like the pastel colors. Any ideas?" I ask.

"Hmm. What about like a turquoise on top and then at the tips you keep the color you have now?" Michael suggests.

"I like that." I say.

"What about like... Rainbow kind of but with pastel colors. Like on different strands put different colors and have mermaid hair?" Luke suggests.

"Okay. I love that idea. Sorry Mike-y." I exclaim.

"Yeah I love Luke's idea!" Ashton yells.

"Yeah me too!" Calum agrees.

"I agree. I love Luke's idea too, I think it will look super cool!" Michael shouts.

"Good. I think we have a conclusion. Will you all help me though?" I inquire.

They all nod.

"Yay!" I yell.

I'm still pretty down after my whole life story but I hide it. Why do they need to know how much I want to take a whole bottle of sleeping pills anyway?

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