Fixated


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12. 11

Chapter 11

                I heard a knock on my door and quickly stood up to answer it. When I opened it there was a nervous Michael pacing back and forth. He looked on the verge of tears.

                “Michael what’s wrong are you okay?”

                “I have to tell Kate. I can’t do this anymore.”

                I pulled Michael into a hug.

                “I understand.” I whispered.

                “I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose her Brigh.”

                “I’ll tell her with you.”

                He nodded and a single tear slipped out of his eye. I quickly wiped it and hugged him again.

                “I don’t know how to do it.”

                “I think we need to sit down and talk.”

                He nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

                “I’ll go get Kate, and I’ll make some tea, and we can talk.”

                He sighed and nodded again.

                I walked to Kate and Michael’s room where Kate was still sleeping. I quietly walked to her side of the bed and shook her awake.

                “Hey, Michael and I need to talk to you, get dressed and meet us downstairs for tea.”

                She gave me a confused look and got up. Now my heart was starting to beat out of my chest. I am possibly about to lose my best friend forever, but I know it’s the right thing to do. Living with the guilt is much worse than anything.

                I got to the living room to see that Michael was already seating on the loveseat. I took a deep breath and went to make some tea. The tea had finished heating up when Kate walked down the stairs. I made her a cup just the way I knew she liked it.

                She was seating across from Michael in the armchair. I hand her and Michael a cup, but both of us were too nervous and scared to drink tea. Kate took a sip and looked around waiting for us to say something, she was probably still half asleep anyway.

                “So… what did you want to talk about?” She asked putting her cup down and looking at us.

                Michael and I looked at each other, not able to find the right words to say. How are you supposed to tell your best friend that you almost hooked up with her boyfriend. God, every time I say it to myself the worse it sounds. I guess there is no right way to break this kind of news to someone.

                “Kate… well… this happened when Brigh and I were home alone when she had that little cold. You were out for work and we were watching a movie. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault, she was about to walk away but I pulled her back. And… and I kissed her.” My eyes shut at the harshness of the words spoken out loud.

                Kate’s cup of tea slipped out of her hand and fell to the carpet. Her eyes brimmed with tears and her hands shook.

                “W-what.” She said barely above a whisper.

                “I never meant for any of this to happen. I’m not going to lie to you anymore, I’m in love with Brigh, and I knew she didn’t feel the same way, but I still kissed her. I still forced her to betray her best friend.” I sat there unable to form words. Michael was taking the blame for everything, as if I didn’t kiss back, as if I didn’t fucking grind on him.

                “I’m so sorry Kate.” I finally spoke up, nearly breaking down.

                Her eyes shifted to mine. The looked made my heart shatter. There was a mix of heartbreak, sadness, disappointment, anger, and hatred. So many emotions that I’m a part of the cause of.

                “I-I need to get out of here.” She said standing abruptly.

                “Kate please don’t leave.” Michael pleaded.

                My hand flew over my mouth, this is what I never wanted to happen. She ran around the room, collecting things while Michael tried to stop her. I sat there not moving, tears running down my face. My world is falling apart more than I thought possible. I heard the final slam of the front door.

                “Fuck!” I heard Michael shout from what seemed miles away, but was really only a feet away.

                And just like that Kate was gone out of the both of our lives. Michael had slid down in front of the door. I slowly got up and walked over to him and without a word sat next to him. He fell into my lap crying. I closed my eyes and let out silent sobs. We stayed there for hours until Michael got up and ran up to what used to be Kate and his room. Minutes later I heard crashing and cussing. I looked down and let more tears fall.

                I figured I should go stop him before he hurts himself. I climbed the stairs and the cussing and crashing got louder. I slowly pushed open his door to see everything was completely trashed. Michael had slid back to the floor crying more. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry this much before. Seeing him in this state would be enough to break anyone’s heart.

                “Michael,” It was the first word that had been spoken in the hours since Kate left.

                “I fucked up.” He said staring straight ahead at the wall.

                “We both fucked up.” I said looking down.

                “Yeah, but you made it clear that you weren’t going to hurt Kate, and I ruined it. I fucked it up just like I fuck everything else up, because that’s just what I do, I fuck things up. Shit!”

                “Please don’t talk about yourself like that.”

                “We both know it’s true.”

                “No! No it’s fucking not. Okay you’re not perfect, but you know what, who the hell is perfect. And yes people fuck up, that’s just how humans are. We make mistakes, but that doesn’t make you a fuck up.”

                “What the hell am I supposed to do Brigh? She’s gone now.” He said silently.

                “I don’t know, but you know what, we’ll figure this out, we’ll figure everything out.”

                I heard my phone ringing and I jumped. I ran to go get it. The call was blocked again and my heart started beating fast. My shaky finger pressed the answer button.

                “H-hello,” I whispered.

                “I’m sorry, but I can’t come home.” It was his voice again.

                This had to be some kind of sick joke. This can’t possibly be Harry. No, Harry is supposed to be dead, that’s what everyone has been telling me for so long. I never wanted to believe them, and just when I start to somewhat except that fact that he’s gone, I keep seeing him and get phantom calls from him.

                Now I have no idea what to think anymore. There’s no other reasonable explanation to this other than the fact that he’s still alive. I will get to the bottom of this, because if Harry is out there somewhere and he’s still in danger I need to find him and bring him home. 

 

Hey i'm really sorry that i go MIA sometimes and forget to update so i was thinking that I would update every day this week to make up for it. ~Tessa x

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