When It Rains, It Pours.

Trans lives matter.


3. Chapter 3

When we get there everyone helps, Thomas, Banter and Bronx carry the heavy stuff although me and Henna are fully capable, they're gentlemen nonetheless. After everything is loaded in the back of Bronx car and Thomas' truck Bronx goes to the front door of my parents house.
I don't know what he's doing but I am interested so I follow. 
Everyone else comes up and after Bronx rings the bell I stand back and let everyone else; my friends get in front of me. 
They can say whatever they want. 

"Mrs. R, with all due respect, fuck you" Bronx says and exits the porch. 
Thomas goes next and says the same thing, and I watch my moms face wither down to nothing. 
My dad comes up as Thomas walks off the porch and Banter goes next. 
After Banter Henna goes, and I'm the last one on the porch. 
"Funny how my friends are more supportive of me than you are, have a nice life" I say and put up a middle finger as I walk off the porch and leave my parents looking through the screen door speechless and I never look back. 

Henna, me and Bronx are in his car and Bronx says gleefully 
"did you see their faces? Priceless!!" and Henna laughs.
"That was epic" she says and I nod and laugh.
"Literally I've wanted to say that to them for so long and now I feel so free" she adds and I nod. 
She smirks and pulls me in for a kiss and it becomes full on making out in the passengers seat of Bronx car and he just puts the sun visor up to sort of block us out and blasts 'Seven Nation Army' by The White Stripes and I think that makes us kiss harder but I don't care about anything right now. 

Thomas comes out of his truck with flushed cheeks and Banter following with a smirk and I don't even have to ask. 
"Nice hickey" Henna says without even looking at Banter. 
"Your pants aren't pulled all the way up Tommy" I say and he blushes so hard and tries to fix his pants. 
I love them. 
Banter is an idiot and Thomas is clueless, they make a perfect match. 

Everyone unloads my stuff into Bronx older sisters old room and they all sit on the bed and talk shit as I organise all my things and listen to music. 

Later Bronx parents have us all for dinner and Bronx explains that he just gave his sisters empty room away and his parents are more than delighted that it's getting used and for a good cause. 
I love his family. 
Good parents raise good kids and bad parents raise bad kids, they're great parents so Bronx is such a great guy and my parents aren't the greatest so neither am I, but that's not a mistake I'm going to make if I ever have kids. 

"Where's the twins?" I ask Bronx, noticing his brother and sister Jakob and Naya aren't here. "Some birthday party sleep over thing" he replies and I nod. 
Henna, Banter and Thomas thank Bronx parents for the meal and come back to my room for a little bit before they leave and we all hang out. 
Bronx joins us shortly after and we have such an amazing time.

"Babe we should probably go" Thomas says to me. 
"Okay. Kisses and hugs" I say and they all get off my bed. 
I kiss Thomas on the cheek and give him a hug, then Banter the same, but Henna I kiss on the lips and get tricky when I pinch her ass. 
"Hey there's boys here!" She exclaims, her cheeks red. 
They all laugh and she rolls her eyes at each one of them. 
"We might do something that turns them on and then they'll rape us, like our fucking school, saying that it's girls faults for wearing short skirts and low tank tops" she mutters and all the boys groan. "Guys need to keep their dicks out of people who don't want it" Thomas says. 
Bronx and Banter nod and then it gets quiet. 
I roll my eyes and open my door and motion "out" with my hand and everyone laughs. 
"Thanks for coming guys, see you tomorrow" I say and they nod. Everyone leaves and it's just me and Bronx. 
"Hey again, thank you so much for this" I say and motion around the room. 
He nods and says 
"oh for sure, my parents felt the need to fill this room up and you're literally the perfect candidate" he says and I giggle. 
"You're stupid" I say with a laugh.
"I know, you too" he says and throws a pillow at me. 
"Well I'm gonna leave you by yourself for some girl time... Genderfluid time" he says and corrects himself. 
"Nor girl or boy" he says and holds a hand over his heart like an oath.
I laugh and say 
"thanks, and don't fuckin stress it bro, no big deal." He nods and hugs me and then walks out and shuts the door and I'm by myself. 

I organise more stuff in my new room and get really tired and decide to go to bed. 
I put a Drop Dead hoodie on that neither me or Henna know who's it is, and lay down. 
I drift to sleep with strip down acoustic versions of all my favourite songs. 

"Just because you live here doesn't mean you get to skip school, jackass" Bronx says as he barges through my door. 
I throw a pillow at him and he laughs a sweet laugh and rips the covers off me. 
I glare at him and he laughs again.
 "Henna would kill me if she knew how naked I'm seeing you right now" he says, and points to my ankles. 
The rest of my body is enveloped in black; black leggings, Drop Dead hoodie and my sheets, and I giggle at myself.
"You're a dweeb" he says and tosses my comforter back at me.
"You need to get some light in here, little death kid" he says as he walks out. 
"I am not obsessed with death, nor do I romanticise it, what a joke" I call and he laughs. 

I get up and dress myself, feeling it inside me that today I am a boy. Black on black converse, black skinnies, a binder, a grey ripped up Neck Deep v-neck, my favourite dark red flannel and a yellowish-orangish coloured beanie. I fix my hair, parting it on the left side so the shaved bit is showing. I put on eyeliner and pale my face, outlining my cheek bones to make them look sharper and less plump and filling in my jaw bones to make them look broader. I flirt with the idea of putting on lipstick; because boys look good with red lips too... 
I spend too much time on tumblr. 

After getting dressed I join Bronx family for a quick breakfast and ride with him to school. 
"Driver gets to control the music, mister death metal" he says and I smile at the proper pronoun. "Okay okay" I say and put my hands back in my pocket. 
He toys with the radio and leaves it on the alternative station and rocks out with me to It's About Time by Young the Giant. 

As we walk in school nobody knows who I am and I like that, but nobody cares either and I also like that. 
"Honestly?" I ask Bronx. 
He takes awhile to respond so I take that time to open my locker and dig through it for books. 
"Honestly" he states. 
I nod and ask 
"do I really look like a boy to the point where I could kiss Henna and nobody suspect a thing?" I ask. 
"Honestly..." He says and stares at me for awhile. 

"Here, get in a fight with me and punch me in the face, I'll have a bruise later and everyone will know i'm a guy and I can do this for awhile so I can be a little free with Henna" I say and point to my right eye. 
"No. No way, I'm a man, men don't hit gir..." He says and stops himself. 
"Damn you" he says in frustration. We stand there next to my locker for a few minutes and then I say
"I'm tougher than you think, just punch me in the fucking eye" I say and point again to my right eye.
"But what happens when you get the girl feeling again?" He asks. 
"If I was a guy when you hit me then I'm still a guy. When I feel the need to be a girl I have makeup to cover up bruises, but if the boy feeling stays for a little while then I want to get used to being with Henna publicly" I argue and he rolls his eyes. 
"But what do people think when your seat is filled by a boy for three weeks and then you come back, they've seen you before but they haven't seen him, and someone will eventually figure it out" he argued back, and it actually annoys me. 
"And what are the teachers going to be doing about legal things, like being a new student or using a different name? Aaron, gender fluidity is much bigger than outer appearance he points out. 
Why does he have to ask all the smart questions and can't just punch me in the eye. 
"At this point I don't care. I'll leave this homophobic town if Henna gets hurt" I say. 
He stares at me like I am the stupidest person, and I probably am. 
"Whatever, and nevermind" I say and slam my locker. 
"Oh c'mon, Aaron" he says and follows me. 
I walk to the girls bathroom and get a few stares as I walk in but after I go into a stall I hear Bronx come in and tell everyone to get out with his booming voice. 
"Arabella I'm being serious" he says and I snicker.

 I pull off my shirt and binder and flip my hair back over, grabbing a few bracelets from my bag and slip on a beanie. I dig around my bag as Bronx pursues me on the outside saying to come out and go to class, but I ignore him as I slip on a blue Real Friends shirt and grab makeup wipes to clean my face off. 

"You leave me no choice" he says and my breath hitches. 
I hear fingers tapping and I know exactly what he's going to do. 
My heart starts beating fast and I finish wiping my face and quickly applying eyeliner and mascara. "Henna, can you and the guys come in the bathroom closest to the science room, Alexa and Aaron is having a problem" he says and I feel a wave of sadness. 
"Why did you do that?" I ask while nervously putting on eyeshadow.
"Because they're the only kids who can talk sense into you Ara" he says. 
I hear him sniffle, and I hold my breath. 
He sniffles again and I huff out a sigh. 
I put my makeup away and swing my bag over my shoulder, and go out of the handicapped stall. 

He sits agains the wall, crying.
"What?" I ask. 
"I didn't want to have to do that, I didn't want to say anything that would want you to be whatever gender because I thought something was a bad idea, I didn't think before I spoke and now you're probably pissed at me. I've been a horrible friend" he says and throws his hands in the air. 

Thomas, Banter and Henna come in, Henna's face in a panic and Thomas and Banters faces in distress. 
"What did you do?!" Henna exclaims and grabs Bronx by the shoulders and pushes him hard against the wall.
"Hey, hey! He didn't do anything it's me! Can't you tell he's the one crying and not me?" I argue. 
"But why are you having a crisis right now? You were Aaron a minute ago and now you're Arabella, what did he say to you? What did he do to make you change?" She asks angrily.
"Nothing. I was being stupid in thinking that I could be Aaron for awhile and be public with you, and I asked him to punch me so it would look more manly or whatever that I got in a fight, and he wouldn't and kept telling me all theses logical reasons why it wouldn't work so I got mad and wanted to be Ara again because it's too hard to be Aaron. And then he called you guys and called me by my birth name and I just freaked out. Nothing is his problem, it's me"
I say, and hope my defence of him is sufficient enough for Henna... But she's tough as nails so anyone she can hurt physically she tries to, and Banter likes to box with her. Thomas hates it because he says boys shouldn't hit girls, and I agree; Banter shouldn't box with Henna, but then Banter argues, saying he's "actually a girl" and none of us like to hear him talk like that so when he says that we all get quiet. 

"Okay. Thanks Bronx for trying to help. And thanks for calling me" Henna says and hugs him. 
"Are you okay Ara?" Thomas asks.
"Of course" I say and nod. 
I look around at the odd situation and laugh; Henna, Bronx and I sitting on the floor of the girls bathroom and Banter and Thomas just staring at us. Banter helps me up, Thomas helps Henna and I help Bronx up. 
"I'm skipping how bout you?" Bronx asks no one in particular.
A chorus of 'yeah's go in the air and it's settled. 

Thomas makes a game out of it, including making us sneak through the halls and ducking under windows for classrooms and hiding behind lockers when somebody is coming, and when it's just a classmate we all freeze and completely stop moving and sometimes we're in the weirdest positions and it makes us laugh and fall to the ground out of our supposed frozen pose. 

We make funny faces at the kids and they try and knock us down and it's really just a fun time. 

Until a teacher comes out of a class room, then it gets really fun. She screams at us to get back to class or she'll call the principle, and we just run cause we are so close to the doors. 
When we get outside the school bounds we all laugh like crazy and fall on the grass to catch our breath. 
Henna has a hard time breathing because she smokes so much. She probably shouldn't run. 

We all decide to go to Thomas'  cause of his nice house, giant backyard, and he's got a park about ten minutes away that we all like to hang out at. 

"Soda and beer mixes for everyone!" Thomas says and opens his fridge. 
"Thanks" a few of us say. 
I get up and kiss Henna lightly before cracking open a few beers and mixing them with various colas. 
I make one for each of us and add a little extra soda to Banter and Henna's because they don't take their beer that well and they really just drink it cause everyone else does.

We hit the park with bottles full of soda beer mix and skateboards. Everyone is on a skateboard. Thomas owns three and conveniently Bronx had his longboard in his car and Henna grabbed Thomas' little brothers penny board and we were off. 

So many Polaroids and grunge as fuck photos were taken that night I do not know how we didn't go blind from Henna and Thomas flashing the cameras so many times in the pitch black. 

I hang up all the Polaroids on my wall when we get back to Bronx house at 3 am. 
Thomas and Banter had a sleep over and baby girl is trying to sleep over tomorrow night here. 
With me. 
I miss that little lady so much and just wanna do cute shit like cuddle. 
"I won't let you be the death of me, no I refuse to let you bring me down" I sing along to Asking Alexandria, and think about my parents. 
I'm so mentally fucked up because of them. 

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