Deadpool's Deadpool Fanfic: A Deadpool Fanfic by: Deadpool

Deadpool decides to write his own story while waiting for the Deadpool movie to continue production. The problem, he doesn't like to write.


3. Deadline

     For the following month Shakespeare, Silverstein, and Shyamalan's career worked around the clock forced to write a movie script for Deadpool based of the confusing draft he wrote beforehand. Meanwhile our anti-hero either answered questions for the writers and made sure they did their job, or did what can only be described as "Deadpool things."

     Things didn't go so smoothly, as there was many disagreements between the different writers. Shakespeare, while reluctant at first to write this script, eventually took his task very seriously and wanted to take the time he needed to finish. Silverstein immediately got on board, but so eager to get done with it that it bothered Shakespeare how sloppy his work was. Shyamalan's Career worked as everyone else, but was more concern with twists even Deadpool questioned.

     "So he's me then?" Deadpool read the new twist Shyamalan made up for the script. Apparently Broccoli Man, according to the script, was actually an alternate dimensional version of his father who came to Deadpool's current dimension to make sure people would eat their broccoli and not chimichangas, despite showing no true intentions of that before and not build up to it. "I... LOVE IT!"

    "It's the perfect twist!" 

  "At least no one will see it coming."

    Shakespeare butted in "Um Sir Deadpool?"

     "Yeah bookworm?"

     "I still have multiple concerns with the play you have us write."

     "Hey! I'm not keeping you against your will to complain. Now Shyamalan's Career came up with a new twist."

    "Lord, again? It be the Sixth this week. Not to mention blah blah blah-" Again Shakespeare complained about the nonsenscality of the story, and how so far the plot as well as writing the story was going nowhere at all. All Deadpool could here in his head as he carefully and thoroughly criticized the current state of the story were 'BLAHS', 'WAHS', and 'NYAHS.'

      "God this guy is worse than Cable as a teacher."

    "It wouldn't hurt to listen to one of the most profound writers of all time."

  "But he's using big words. BIG WORDS!"

     "Let's see how Silverstein's doing." he left Shakespeare who was still talking in blahs and seemed more lost in his own thoughts "He looks like he's not going to stop soon."

     In another room Shel Silverstein worked furiously on a old fashioned typewriter typing away page after page. He was surrounded by stacks of the hundreds of drafts he wrote. Only half off them were for real as Silverstein was able to pump out these scripts with little thought in hours. 

      "Shel, new twist from Sanjay over there." he handed the paper Shyamalan's Career wrote the twist down on to Silverstein who then read it.

     "Yeah, I can work with it. Give me a minute." He went back to typing yet another script while Deadpool looked back to Shakespeare in the other room who was still going on, now holding a skull for dramatic effect. "Done." Silverstein already finished a new draft and handed it over to Deadpool who went to hand it to Shakespeare.

     "Hey Drama Queen. Got a new draft. Now butter up this popcorn."

    "Very well let's have a look at it." Shakesspeare started to read the script. As he did his intrigue the story grew and the very pages started illuminating a golden glow upon his face as he kept reading the marvelous writing. So much that Deadpool, Silverstein, and Shyamalan's Career gazed at the spectacle of the English poet reading as if what looked to be the secret to the universe. 

       After four nonstop hours of reading, and Deadpool getting bored and making paper airplanes out of the other drafts, Shakespeare finished reading the script. "It's nearly perfect."

      "Huh?" Deadpool looked while constructing a paper B-24 Liberator.

       "This play here, is profound. It moves heart along-"

      "NO! No more big words!"

     Deadpool thought fast to avoid another of Shakespeare's ramblings. "Get to the point Drama Queen."

     "Ah, yes. There be just one small thing at the end that needs fixing. A very simple yet important phrase needed to be added. Only then it will it be absolutely perfect."

      "One little thing?"


      "Speak it then my brother." he sang wearing a priest's robes, along with a gospel choir composed of other Deadpools. "Speak! SPEAK and let the truth be told. And you... we... WILL BE FREE!"

     "I shall! I simply needs to... ugh..." Shakespeare clenched his chest where shreds of a foul aura formed and began to consume his body, leaving only but ash and dust. The red clothed merc stood waiting not aware that the man before him was disintegrated. 

      Finally he grew tired of waiting and shouted "Well? What is it?"

     "Oh no, it's beeen over a month and time's up!"

   "Quick ask Sidewalk Ends Guy what's wrong!"

     Deadpool pointlessly flipped over the table and ran to Shel Silverstein "Shel! Quick! Before you die!"

     "Simple," he said "Just write-ACK!" the same dark wisps consumed his body and also turned to dust.

      "Crap! Shymalan! Quick, before you die, and leave me to finish this on my own!"

    "Wow." Shymalan's Career gawked at what transpired "What a Twist! Hahaha-ARGH! I'm dead."


     Deadpool spent the rest of the day mourning. Mourning over the loss of incomplete script. And then the writers who wrote it, but he got over that within a minute.

     He stayed up at night thinking about what it was that needed to done. What was that need to be added in, to make the story complete and reach perfection? He didn't know, but he had to devote all his time into reading the script until he found the very thing that needed to be put in. Find the missing puzzle piece to this... puzzle. The world could live without him for a while, there were over a million other Marvel characters to defend the earth from the millions of Marvel villains, DC crossovers, and Disney copyright claims.

     Yet this script had to be finished. It had to be shown to the universe for all to see it's glory.









   All Deadpool had to do was write "THE END", but it took so long for him to figure this out, that when he finished the Deadpool Movie starring Ryan Reynolds was already on DVD and Netflix, becoming a huge finacial success. So successful that Deadpool lost confidence in his script ever becoming a better movie. SO instead he posted the script online for all to read for themselves. As for what site he posted it on, well, who cares.


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