existence.

"Sad stuff makes beautiful poetry, but it's not so pretty to live with." [-Merecat]
*For the Dear Diary Competition*
(I recommend anything beyond 'Tumbling Ash' for the rest is a mess of nonsense words that hold no character, no story and absently fill the page)

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56. Stupidly Emotional

 

I honestly don't understand what's happening.

 

All my day seems to have been is endless lounging outside in the glaring sun,

reading and reading,

IPod on it's loudest volume as I try to submerge myself in words and notes.

My room smelt of barbecues from the neighbours opposite,

like it was encased in this invisible cloud of smell.

 

As I look outside,

the pavement is coated in this gorgeous warm glow and everything shimmers

with a sudden summer brightness.

The sun is sliding down slated roof top tiles and the trees dance

with a vibrancy that's rare to see.

The grass is dry, for once,

but my eyes are not.

 

Nothing bad has happened today.

It's been calm and full of relaxation but something's just

got to me.

I don't know what,

I can't name it or match it up to anything.

It's just this snake in the bottom of my stomach that squirms within its pit

and my head just rings with aching.

 

I feel like somehow this time is significant,

where I'm looking out from my window and I'm watching the world wave

with its colours and its nature.

I take in the shrieks of laughter from children out of sight

and just how beautiful it all is.

 

Maybe, when I'm older,

I won't be looking out at this gorgeous view of flowers and sprouting bushes.

This summer is close to ending,

and I need to start remembering how these sights don't come about often.

 

Weird

 

And now I feel like crying because maybe I do like this world a little bit,

and right now all I want to do

is to talk to him but he can't for a week

and I feel my heart snap every day which should be an over exaggeration

considering we've been dating less than a week.

 

But, he is my best friend and even if we weren't going out,

I would still miss him like crazy...

 

-22nd August 2015

 

I'm going to be at my Dad's for a week so I won't be doing anything to do with Movellas.

Sorry, and have a nice week :)

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