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2. [Two]

Entering art was a blast of joy for me, with art being my favourite lesson and everything. It's just something about the abstract pieces of art (by abstract I'm taking about artwork that people actually put effort in. I'm not taking about someone painting a whole canvas yellow and selling it for 3 million quid) As I step in I place one of my earphones to listen to music as I draw, helps me concentrate and all that crap. Today's choice of music is... Bastille (heheehehehehehh), A.K.A. My favourite band in the entire world, Dyle being my main ship and Kyle being my man crush (yeah I admit I have a man crush so fucking what). Johnny pointed out a chubby woman standing by the desk droning on about how my original art teacher wasn't in. I take a seat, not bothering about the annoying kid next to me was expelled for pelting a spoon at our director of year's head (if you're not English then a Director of Year is someone who keeps our year's behaviour, attendance in check bla bla bla who gives a fuck).


'I thought whales were peaceful creatures' Johnny whispers across to me. I stare at him with a look that says 'that was a horrible thing to say'

'AND WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU STARING AT?' she growls at me. I point at Johnny with my thumb but receive a confused look from the woman who does that shaking head thing teachers usually do when they're all like 'wow are you bloody serious'.

'Is this art?' a sudden bored voice asks at the entrance. Everyone diverts their attention to a girl with black make-up leaning against the door-way. She shrugs her shoulders and enters the classroom

'I'm the new one' she sighs as she hands a note to our supply teacher who immediately gives back the note 'thought this was painting with all the colours and sh... Stuff'

'Unfortunately our actual art teacher is absent today, just take a seat' she says in a calmer voice. Everyone's expression includes raised eyebrows and widened eyes with an open mouth. As everyone is gawking at our cover teacher's change personality. I can't help but stare at the girl at the front. Her face... It's... Cute. her hair... Jet black with a purple fringe (probably going to be asked to dye it back to original colour but hey ho). Her skin... White as PVA glue. As I look at her for another 10 seconds I hear

'Woah Woah Woah it's MAGIC' playing along to the girl flipping her purple fringe out of her face. Until I realise it's Johnny's phone going off in class. He turns to me saying 'sorry... Got a call from The BaeHoe'

'Would you shut up'

Like we all expected, our substitute teacher was now going off her doughy head at me for talking in class. The girl rolled her eyes and walked over to my table.

'is this seat taken?' she asks, pulling the empty chair out. My words overflow my mouth as I try to form a socially acceptable answer. Her rolled up skirt and blazer sleeves look better up close. The girl opens her mouth to say something but I interrupt her by blurting out


Tyrone you fucking idiot. The first time you try to answer a cute girl's simple question and you end up screwing that up. WHY DON'T YOU WORK YOU USELESS SHIT?! The girl smiles awkwardly and sits down. I run my hand through my hair with a red face.

Bla Bla Bla, cover teacher yells at me for talking to Johnny again and we have to draw something of our choice, I pick a sloth wearing a top hat and a monocle. I grab my pencils and start drawing. Suddenly, the new girl's elbow touches mine... HER FUCKING ELBOW... TOUCHES MY FUCKING ELBOW! She looks at me saying 'sorry'. I don't know why I can't help but just yawp at her.

'Are you ok?' she queries, twirling a pencil between her fingers. I nod slowly, still making direct eye-contact. Is this how you get a girl to like you in the movies. I assume it isn't judging by the uncomfortable look she gives when she turns back to her drawing of what appears to be a girl with angel wings on one side and devil wings on the other. Pretty cool drawing, I think to myself (yet I don't have the courage to say to her because I'm an awkward fuck-knuckle) and yes, I'm still fucking staring at this chick. The girl eyes me again, putting down her pencil in annoyance

'Are you trying to freak me out or something?' she sniggers in a serious tone.

'No I just-'

'What is it you're staring at. My boobs, my earrings, my weird face WHAT'

'YOUNG MAN' the stroppy teacher shouts at me again 'WILL YOU LEAVE THE POOR GIRL ALONE!'

I never knew having a substitute teacher was worse than having the actual teacher there and to add to that, I spent the entire lesson sweating like Kanye West in the FourFive Seconds video because of the new girl was sitting next to me, with my movie based flirting techniques going to shit and reminding me how much I suck at being a normal, functioning human being(I only listened to the song for Paul McCartney). The only thing I was happy about was not having to hand in the homework I didn't do. After that mind-numbing art lesson, I have to deal with another hour of Science with our creepy science teacher. I'm sat with the new girl again but apart from that, the only thing I actually remember from that lesson was him setting fire to stuff and greeting the class by saying

'Don't worry. Uncle science is here to tell you a bedtime story' making the new girl look at me mouthing 'what the fuck' and saying that he's creepier than me (there's that confidence boost I need). Johnny and I head off to the cafeteria (again) to have our lunch. Where we pass the 'sorta-cool kids' smoking near a tree and the girls comparing boob sizes with each other (do you girls genuinely do that? Serious question here).

'Did you see our supply teacher getting a boner when he stood next to Nicole? T'was bigger than an eggplant I'll tell you that my good friend'

'What are you talking about? Our supply teacher was a woman'

'Not in my eyes if you know what I mean honey bunch' Johnny winks

'You have issues you know that, Johnny?'

I spot a small crowd of people (looking a year younger than I am) gathered around in a tiny space. Curiosity fled over me as I put my original journey on hold and investigate what the hell is going on. As I peer over the year 9s I see a kid in the middle burning an ant with a magnifying glass. Now, I don't take cruelty to animals very well. I shove a few year 9s out the way

'Hey what the hell are you doing?' I shout. The kid in the middle stands up

'Who the fuck do you think your talking t-' he stops in the middle of my sentence and stares up at me, expecting me to be somebody the same size as him 'Why are you hurting a little ant'

'Calm down Great Pyramids were only having fun'

'You think burning animals is fun, what are you some sick sadist?' Listen. I know it's just a petty little ant, but you guys do realise that other animals have feelings aswell (shocker I know)

'Listen we're sorry. We'll stop'

I turn and walk off hearing the cocky little shit say something else as I make my way to the cafeteria entrance

'What the hell is his problem? It's only an ant, what harm could it do?'

I stop. I tilt my head to the side. I pout my lips in anger and clench my fists

'Tyrone,' says Johnny 'I know what he said but he's a year 9 and I'm starving my man tits off so can we just-'

Completely ignoring Johnny I storm to the kid and pick him up with his collar. The crowd gasps and gawks at the year 10 holding somebody one year younger than him.

'What the fuck did you say?'

The kid trembles in fear and slaps my arms

'Im sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry'

'Like Hell you are. You want to say that again you fucking sociopath?' I growl as I get him in a headlock and give him the most violent noogie ever.


'Whats your problem? You're only a human, what harm could it do?' I mimic what he said and push him over. 'Whats the matter? Did your over-inflated ego get punctured or something' (probably the smartest comeback I've made)

'Why are you calling HIM a psycho? Have you ever looked in the mirror' some random year 9 says. I turn to him but notice the crowd around me has grown rapidly. Everyone giving me dirty looks, some even scared. I spot the new girl, in fact she's the only one that doesn't glare at me like I'm a monster. She just stands there, chewing on something. The whole playground was silent, until my grumpy geography teacher bursts through and points his bony finger at me

'TYRONE RIDLAND!' He bellows as he grips the back of my jumper and takes me to the head teacher's office... Again.

My geography teacher hauls me in and shuts the door behind him, leaving me to face the bored look of my head master, holding his hands together.

'You again,' he sighs 'sit down boy'

I take a seat and watch him type on his computer

'So...Whats today's reason?'

'Beating up a year 9,' I reply with a huff 'but it wasn't all my fault he was-'

'Ive heard enough excuses Mr Ridland. That child was not at fault. You should be ashamed of yourself, attacking someone smaller than you'

'Why don't punish him as well then? He was burning an ant with a magnifying glass. That counts as attacking someone smaller than you'

'That isn't important... Now... I will be contacting your father an-'

'He's not my father' I fold my arms bitterly

'You may call him whatever you want but I'm calling him your father... But that's not the point, you need to learn to control your anger Mr Ridland. Tell me, have you ever considered seeing a therapist?'

I stand up, offended that some old bloke would even consider asking that, as if it was a norm to say that to kids.

'What the hell do you mean by that?'

'Tyrone, you've been in 7 different fights in the past few days and it's only been two weeks after your last suspension. This might seem a bit out of the blue but you have serious anger management problems'

'I DO NOT HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES!' I yell. My head teacher raises his eyebrow and smirks

'I stand corrected' he says sarcastically

'FUCK YOU!' I snap carelessly. My head teacher scrunches up his nose and leans forward, pointing his finer right in my face

'Eh, don't start a war with me young man. And don't you dare speak to me in that tone'

'Why not, you're just a man in a suit and 40 years older than me. Take all that away and what are you? Everyone in this shithole thinks they're something because they walk around in a goddamn suit, when in fact it means nothing.'

'Keep that attitude up I'm calling your father'

'Hes... Not... My... FUCKING... FATHER!' I throw the pencil pot at the wall and watch it break into small metal parts.

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