I wish I had never woken up with amnesia (Michael Clifford)

Some people wish to wake up with amnesia so they can forget about how much they are hurting.

All I wish is that I could have remembered .... Remembered that he had hurt me. That way I would never have fallen in love with him again

To know him, is to love him. But I never knew that Michael was the person who could love me and break me into thousand pieces at the same time

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17. 16

Ashton drops us off and leaves to go and get the boys from auntie Maureen's. As we walk up the path Maddison runs forward and stands in front of me

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" I ask confused

"You kissed him, I saw you kiss him!"

I stare at her but I can't help but smile

"It was a peck on the lips it hardly contained tongues" I shrug

"Chloe no, Chloe he hurt you"

I raise my hand to stop her

"By your own admission you used to think he was a nice person, and I've spoken to him, it was a one time thing. Maddison I don't know what to do but it would be nice to feel like you supported me. This isn't easy being attracted to someone that hurt me but I can't remember that. All I know is how I feel right now" I plead with her to try and understand. This whole thing would be easier if I knew I had her support instead of fighting against her disapproving

"So you can forgive him?"

"Not forgive him, but I can choose to move on from it"

she rubs her forehead and nods

"Ok, it's your call. I guess I should leave you two to sort it out. I'm just protective of you that's all" she says sadly and I give her a hug

"So promise me you'll go easier on Michael?" I decide to push my luck on this

"Ok fine, whatever you want. Now let's see what Laura wants"

I follow Maddison into the house and when we walk into the living room Laura and John are standing up holding champagne flutes. They are grinning at us. Me and Maddison look at each confused

"You're not pregnant are you?" Maddison says shocked and Laura laughs

"Don't be silly. But you girls might want to sit down for this"

We sit on the settee and look up at John and Laura

"Ok girls this might be a shock but, John and I are moving to Melbourne" she squeals excitedly

Maddison bursts into tears and the smile from Laura's face fades

"Melbourne, as in Melbourne that's an eight hour drive from here?" I ask confused

"The bank where John works have offered him a promotion and it's double the money he's on now. Maddison please don't cry we will still see each other all the time" Laura says whilst stroking Maddison's hair

"When? When we will see each other? Christmas times and birthdays? Well how fantastic. Screw you and your job" she shouts at John

"And why do you have to follow him? Stay here this is your home" she directs her anger at Laura now, I just sit here shocked

"I love him Maddison, I want to be with him. I love you girls but John is the love of my life"

Maddison stands up

"Well fuck you both" she shouts and walks out the room. Laura starts to cry and John holds her as she cries into his shirt. Im conflicted on what to do. It feels horrible to know Laura's leaving, us three have been inseparable since we were eight years old but I understand why she would want to go with John, and then I realise why Maddison's so upset. I stand up and hold Laura's hand

"It's not you, she'll be happy for you when she comes around. Just remember Ashton's leaving in six weeks, you're going away. But I'm so happy for you Laura, you too John"

Laura hugs me and I hold her tightly

"Let's just hope my memory comes back so I actually remember what it was like to live with you" I laugh and Laura pulls away and wipes her tears

"When are you leaving?"

"that's the thing, he has to start his job Monday so we will be leaving Saturday morning. The bank have arranged a rented house so we are pretty much good to go" she takes a deep breath and waits for my reaction

"Saturday?" Now I start to cry

"I was thinking maybe we could all pull together and arrange a leaving party for Friday? The club I bar tend at said we can hire it for the night and I was thinking of asking Ashton and the guys to play. You up for planning a party?" She holds my hand and looks at me hopefully

"Sure I can arrange a party but I don't think I can say goodbye" I start to sob now and Laura holds me again. Why is everyone I love leaving? When I need them the most to help me remember my life they are going their own way to live theirs and I'm not sure what my purpose is in the world right now

"Hey guys, woah what's going on here?" I hear his voice and I turn around to see Michael and Ashton standing in the doorway. I turn away and cry into Laura's shoulder some more. I feel Michael's arms around my waist and I turn and put my face into his T shirt. He puts his arms around me, he leaves one hand on my waist and the other hand strokes my hair. Laura and John follow Ashton out of the room and I stand there holding onto Michael

"You going to tell me what's going on?" He asks gently

"Laura's leaving for Melbourne, she leaves Saturday. John has been offered a job there and she's going with him" I say between trying to catch my breath

"Don't cry Chloe, I'm here for you" he whispers and I pull away

"But you're not, you might be here now but in six weeks, well nearly five actually you'll be leaving for Europe and who knows when you will be back?" I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my top and I take a deep breath

"You're doing it again" he snaps at me

"Doing what?"

"Exactly this, pushing me away. Aren't you happy for me? This is my dream Chloe but that doesn't mean this has to be the end of us"

I throw my hands up in the air

"The end? The end? I can't even remember the beginning" I shout at him. He shakes his head and pushes his hands into his pockets

"Maybe I should go" he says with a voice that has no emotion

"I agree, maybe you should" I snap back at him. I watch him walk out of the room and I hear the front door open and close. I scream in frustration and stomp my way into the kitchen

"Hey you ok?" Laura asks. It's just her and john sitting at the table, Ashton must be upstairs with Maddison

"No I'm not, I hate amnesia. Actually the part I hate the most is that it only wiped two years of my memory away. I wish I didn't know who I was at all" I grab a beer out of the fridge and go upstairs. Maddison is still crying but I decide to not intrude, she needs Ashton right now. I walk into my bedroom and sit on the bed. It's lightly raining outside and I watch the rain falling against my window. I don't know what to do? I just wish I knew what to do

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