The "Good Girl"


"Good girl? Are you sure?"

"Well yeah. I mean you have Never. Ever done anything bad in school."

"That's because you have never seen me out of school before"

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22. ~17~

As my feet took me far away at an amazing speed, my mind was in a daze.

I couldn't focus on anything. Everything was a blur. I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that I wanted away.

I ran until my feet hurt. I stopped at a field a couple miles from the hospital.

I walked to the middle of the field and sat down. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my knees.

My mother is gone.

My father is going to lose it. He won't be able to cope.

I felt the sudden urge to scream.

I'm never going to see my mother smile.

I'm never going to hear her voice.

I'm never going to hear her laugh.

I'll never feel the comfort of her hug.

I'll never have another 'how was your day' conversation.

I feel so empty. Is this normal? I should've known this was coming. She was never going to be able to fight it.

I lied down closing my eyes, wishing I was in heaven with my mother.

To see her healthy again with that smile that you could see a mile away.

I can't believe she is gone. I want to go home and find her at the stove cooking supper with that cheesy World's Greatest Cook apron on.

I want to find my dad sitting at his desk with a smile on his face because he just came up with a great idea for a book and is racing to get down on the computer.

I want to have Friday nights where I can lay on my bed and listen to music.

I want to be happy because I have a wonderful life.

But you can't always get what you want in life. Especially when your mother is lying dead in a hospital bed.

My thoughts were interrupted by the roar of a motor. And that motor belonged to no other vehicle than Michael's van. I heard the van come to a stop and a door open and shut.

I layed still not wanting to move or talk.

There was a shadow cast over me blocking the sun. I opened one eye to see a tall Luke Hemmings.

His expression was blank but his eyes were different. They showed concern.

"Come on,"he said and stuck his hand out for me to take.

I debated on whether I should take it and leave or stay here and rot in the sun.

I chose option number one.

I took his hand and he led me to the van.

Apparently he was the only one who came to find me but I wasn't complaining.

The whole ride was silent but it wasn't and awkward silence. More like an understanding silence. He took us back to the hospital.

I followed him into the hospital and back to my mothers room.

We passed Michael, Calum, and Ashton and they all gave me a looks that said:

"Thank God."

"Are you Okay?"

And

"Are you hurt?"

I ignored them though. I really am thankful for them but I don't need pity right now.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I need right now. Oh wait. I know.

I need my mom but uh oh. She isn't available right now.

I walked into my mothers room to find my dad sighing some papers. I didn't bother asking what.

I wanted to ask Luke something but I didn't want to talk. I will only say this one sentence and then I won't say another thing for the rest of my life.

Because if my mother has no say then I have no say.

"Take me home,"I said to him. He only nodded and then everyone except for my dad headed outside to Michael's van.

They didn't ask me if I was okay or if I needed anything and I was greatful.

I don't need my best friends taking pity on me.

I wanted to get home so I could gets clothes and go.

I needed to fight. Now.

___________________________

A/N: I have talked about heaven a few time in this chapter and I am sorry if you aren't Christian or are an atheist.

But I am a Christian and I do believe in heaven.

Thank you for reading. Xx

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