A Universe Trapped in a Labyrinth

This is my boring and interesting and teenager life spanning from age 15 to 18 (May 2015-August 2018)
Within you'll find many re-inventions of myself, boy trouble, school trouble and life trouble. (Plus interesting bits I thought I would include as well).
Do you dare to enter the maze?


127. The Down Days


9th March 2017, 20:35

What's been going on in my life lately? What's been happening within the two months in which silence has been attained. I don't mean to be silent it's just lately the creative part of my brain has been a stubborn toddler. It DOES NOT want to co-operate or function like I would like it to. I see something that inspires me, do something exciting and I can't for the life of me write it down on a page in a way in which makes me happy. I want writing to make me happy, I want to be proud of what I've written, not just posting for the sake of posting. But my brain is in its terrible two's I'm afraid. 

This may be partially down to the stress of A-levels and the stress of hopelessness. I'm being dramatic there and I'll explain why. Every Year 12 student in my college has been assigned a week of work experience where you shadow a professional at a job. Me being an aspiring psychologist, immediately looked at the mental health field. I emailed lots of corporations but the replies I was getting, were that the positions were already filled, they didn't offer it all together, or the bases where it could be done were miles away from my town. Rejection email after rejection email. And this was done as everyone around me were having success on their first phone call/ email. It's frustrating as the days go by and more positions are filled. Or people just don't get back to me all together which is worse. 

This is made worse by the stress of coping with revision, homework and just understanding the base material of my courses. With AS exams only three months away its a daunting thought. These tests are the deciding factor in my uni course, in my future career. It just feels hopeless and near impossible this week. 

I wouldn't say I'm particularly bad, just feeling a bit down about the whole situation, but its not as bad as not being able to get out of bed or interact with people. There are worse off people than I. There's love and support around me and I just have to push through and deal with the battles as much as I can, with the best of my abilities. It will get better sometime. All I'm looking forward to now is a weekend where I can spend it catching up on sleep and untangling this ball of stress. 


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