A Universe Trapped in a Labyrinth

This is my boring and interesting and teenager life spanning from age 15 to 18 (May 2015-August 2018)
Within you'll find many re-inventions of myself, boy trouble, school trouble and life trouble. (Plus interesting bits I thought I would include as well).
Do you dare to enter the maze?


147. The Dilemma


23rd December 2017, 22:13, 

This week I had an orthodontics appointment, signalling nearly two years of having braces. It's been a long road but I think I'm nearly there. 

The reason I got braces in the first place because of A) the massive gap in between my two front teeth and B) my bottom jaw is pushed forward so it is bigger than it should be and I have an incorrect bite. This bite means that my bottom teeth are in front of my top, which is not normal, and my bottom jaw is too big which has caused several gaps that are just too large and apart of my jaw to close. 

(That's me at 13 with said gap and pre braces.)

To correct this jaw problem my jaw would have to be broken and my bottom jaw pushed back. This would mean 6 months of recovery, several weeks in hospital and months of being in a head brace and in severe pain. 

I started my consultations for this operation when I was roughly thirteen and I was told that I had to wait until my jaw had fully grown and my teeth had been corrected as much as possible so that the operation could take place. 

Now at 18 it looks like my brace treatment is nearly finished, my wisdom teeth have been removed and I'm in a prime condition to have this operation (my 11th operation, wowzers). I'm actually waiting for a consultation with a jaw surgeon to discuss when this operation will take place if I go ahead with it. 

(That's me this summer, back when I was still 17, and if you look close enough you can see that the gap is gone.)

But, the thing is that I would have to travel to Middlesbrough which is far from where I live for this surgery and it would probably take part in my uni years. That would mean taking half a year out for this surgery. I don't know if I can afford that, especially since I would be paying £9,250 for a year of uni I would only be half taking part in.

Taking my wisdom teeth out was painful, I was in pain for three days in a state where I couldn't sleep or eat because of it. I was miserable and depressed and I cried a lot (and I'm not one to cry, I consider myself to have a high pain threshold normally). 

I am now considering not to have this surgery and I have several reasons. 

1. The pain. 

2. The time I would have to take off, the stress of picking up the work and the socialisation aspect of uni after getting the head brace off.

3. Before I knew that my jaw was backwards, the gap in my teeth and the way that and my jaw made my face jut out was obvious to me. I was already the weird kid and this thing was another aspect of it. I noticed it constantly and I think it contributed to my lack of confidence in early life. Now the braces have changed the gap and the shape of my face. I honestly think that the gap was a trigger to me noticing how my jaw affected the shape of my face. Now that's gone, I'm not noticing it and worrying myself over others seeing it. Now I know that this jaw thing is only something I know about. I feel better about myself and the way I look, and I'm more confident because of that. If it's not affecting me as badly as before why should I have it done?

4. Would it really, really change my life if I had it done?

I feel a little bit bad for telling doctors that I want it done for nearly five years, starting the process and getting specialists, all for nothing now that I'm reconsidering it. But it's my body and my choice and my confidence so why should I really feel bad? 

(On another note most people have hill shaped spots in their mouths that don't affect anything, I have ridges because I wasn't unique enough apparently. They don't know why and I'm the only one to have these abnormalities.)


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