A Universe Trapped in a Labyrinth

This is my boring and interesting and teenager life spanning from age 15 to 18 (May 2015-August 2018)
Within you'll find many re-inventions of myself, boy trouble, school trouble and life trouble. (Plus interesting bits I thought I would include as well).
Do you dare to enter the maze?


153. Another Memorial


23/02/18, (posted late but oh well)

You may know by now that mental health plays an important role in my life (both physically and writing wise) and today is an example why. Five years ago today my auntie sadly lost her life to depression.

You wouldn't have thought it because this lady was all smiles and rainbows whenever you saw her. But on a snowy night five years ago she went into the woods and never came back out again, all the while when her son was ringing her and searching those very woods. 

My best memory of her was on holiday, her watching me do karaoke for the first time with my grandma and she was all warm hugs and confidence and assurances. 

My worst memory of her was that day, when I was still asleep and got awoken by the phone call my mother got to tell her the awful news. I remember that I had to babysit by two year old cousin at the time for my mother to go round the family and find out exactly what happened. 

Mental health is monumental and silent. It was only revealed after her death that she had awful financial troubles that probably pushed her over the edge to do what she did. 

But we can't know exactly why she did it, and that's the question isn't it, the question that haunts us still. Why? 

The other question is the what ifs? None of us knew and maybe if one of us did then we could have done something, or said something, anything that may have led to a different outcome. 

But we can't and all we can do is celebrate her life as we knew it - celebrate with her granddaughter that was born just after she died and looks just like her, celebrate with our memories of her. 

Death is a part of life but maybe if depression was easier then it wouldn't have come so soon for her. 

That is why I strive to raise awareness for mental health, because it affects many and ends the lives of many when they didn't have to. 

All I can hope to do is make her proud, and keep the memories of her alive to help me on my future of hopefully becoming a psychologist and helping mental health directly. 

This may be a sad day but she would want it to be a happy day and that is somewhat what I'm doing, and what I'm going to do in the future. 


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