The change of my life

A 16 year old girl having family trouble and abused and somewhat sexually abused by her father and is beaten at school just because no one likes her. One friend cares and is trying to be by her side for the longest time. But.......she thinks they're right she thinks she doesnt belong and someday a change will happen in her life

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5. NATHAN!

  We were getting out of the car and I was running away from dad. There is a bad odor in the living room and that made me stop. Covering my nose I feel dad behind me. I turn, he has a knife in the air ready to hit. He pushes me on the ground and starts putting the knife rubbing against my skin. I can feel it go deeper and I was scared if he was actually going to cut me. I kick him in the “ boys “ area and try to run. He screams in pain and swings the knife which made my leg bleed. I ran out the door and head for Nathan’s house.

~

I knock, Mrs Ray answers.

“ Hey Crystal are you ok? I feel so bad please please do come in,” She told me

“ NO, I need Nathan, where is he?” I asked. Her face expression was in a shock like I told her something wrong.

“ Sweetheart, he went over to your house to go talk to you, ” she answered. Running away from Nathan’s house i’m running as fast as I can and I can hear Mrs. Ray calling my name saying I have a large cut on my leg. I’m running faster than ever because what if my dad hurts him! Just one house down. There I stop, seeing Nathan about to knock on my door.

“ NO NATHAN, i’m right here!” I yelled. Running towards him giving him a hug, almost losing his balance, taking his hand, running away from my house. Running to a park, I sit Nathan on a bench with me.  He’s looking at me and smiling. 3 minutes later were leaning in and our lips are 2 inches away. Blushing so hard, our lips touch and we start to kiss. Not just once, not just twice ,4 times we kiss. Holding his hand and putting my head on his shoulder my eyes begin to close. Hoping tomorrow at school will change. Nathan wakes me up and piggy back rides me and is leading me to a hill. Laying on the hill the sun was going away and you can see almost stars. 5 minutes later stars were everywhere they were so beautiful it was unbelievable. Sitting up I lean more to kiss Nathan and snuggling with him. Just by his warmth, my eyes are starting to close….

~

I woke up and nathan was still sleeping, while holding me. I slowly move away and and stand up… it must have been 3 am since most of the stars are gone. Thinking really hard what would happen if i ever got home...idk even know if i'll ever go back…
“ Crystal? “
I look back and I see Nathan looking at me… I just stare and look away

“ You’re not going back, are u? “ … I just look at him and he looks at me like he could read my mind… I sit on the hill and look away from him. He comes and sits with me and holds me tight.
“ What now...you can live with me.” I just shake my head no even though I wouldn’t mind it but I just kept silent….I just wish my father would change everything and just be good to me for once… but no matter what changes nothing will change for me…

“ Crystal look! There's a shooting star! My wish already came true and that's you.. what's yours? “

…. My wish….

~

I told Nathan my wish hasn't came yet and he seemed disappointed at the fact that I said that...was he wanting an answer as ‘ You are my wish? ‘ or ‘ I dont need wishes cuz ur here with me?’ I mean i'm happy he’s with me and we both love each other much more than friends but were not even dating… i'm not asking him out I'm not the type of girl for relationships or friends but he just appeared into my life and i'm happy for that. Nathan and I are walking towards my house and he's mad at me because I want to go back and not come to his house to be safe but I can handle this on my own.

 

“ Looks like were here “ Nathan mumbled  

“ Yea “ ...He acted like he would never see me again. I hug him tightly and kiss him on the cheek, but he doesn’t let me go.

“ I'm not letting you go no matter what Crystal “ He sounded like he was gonna cry. I hug him tighter and put my hand on his face and kissed him on the lips. He was red all over but he smiled.

“ Ill catch u later Nathan “ I don't know how to explain those kisses we did but the warmth of his lips made me realize something…. maybe i'm not alone…. maybe everything is a game for me to play and I have to beat it….

~

  I enter my house and look through the window and Nathan’s walking home, something in my house didn't make sense….the air, it's clean! I turn around and the living room was completely clean..no odor… no bottle cans nothing. I look in the kitchen never been better, just the way my mom alway cleaned her house. I run upstairs and stood by my father's room, scared to open the door. 1...2...3 I counted and opened the door and it was completely clean and odor free but my father wasn't in his room...matter a fact my father wasn't anywhere. Like I would be worried about my father but I’m kinda suspicious on what's going on. My father isn't home and the house is clean. Or did someone take him to….jail. I look everywhere and couldn't find him at all. I ran to the home phone and dialed his cell number.

“ Im sorry but this number’s mailbox is full. To recall the number press 1. To leave a message press 5. “ I end the call...something's wrong or I could be dreaming and sleeping in Nathans lap peacefully or maybe this is just my reality for heaven. I dont know what it is but whatever is happening needs to come fast! All I could do was wait..and wait until tomorrow morning and for once in my life i'm wanting dad and i'm worried about him too.

~

Its 8 am and I woke up with myself in my bed. It was strange because last night I slept on the couch. Did I sleep walk or did dad….DAD! I swung my door open and stop instantly when I was about to run downstairs. I smelled something that I haven't smelled for a long time. A smell mom would always make before she died. Actual cooking on a stove. Food. Thats what I smelled. But it was cooking and I haven't had actual food for a long time. All I usually ate was cereal and bread. But this time it was actual food! I run downstairs towards the kitchen and there's dad reading a newspaper and has a cup of coffee on the table and eggs and bacon sizzling on the pan. This can't be happening, dad is an alcoholic sexual abuser. He never cooks food or drinks coffee, matter of a fact yesterday was dad's first shower this whole school year!

He smelled nice when he gave me a hug when I almost fell on the cliff. I make a noise so he can notice me that i'm standing here.

He jumps a little and looks up and stares and smiles at me.

“ Good morning Crystal “ It startled me for a minute because dad never said ‘ Good morning ‘ to me in ages. I just nod and just stand there looking at him frightened, wondering what he's gonna do. He looks at me and says, “ I made breakfast eggs and bacon hope you like it. “ I grab a plate of food and sat at the diner table but I just stared at it and wondered what exactly he did to it.

“ Well go on baby girl eat,” I just stare at him and give him the ‘ what the hell just happen to you ‘ look. He gets up and gets his food and eats and he eats like he hasnt eaten for ages. I pick up my fork and stabbed it through the eggs and ate a little of it. Tasted really good it didn't have a weird taste or smell. As I ate everything on my plate, I stop and stare at him. He sits down and looks down.

  “ Crystal…” He pauses doesn't say anything else. But what hit me the most is when he called me by my name… He’s never actually called my name by saying it with feelings.

“ Crystal...I know i've been cruel to you ever since your mother died. I've sexual abused you, hit you, raped you, and sometimes starve you. I haven't drunk for so long but I went to depression ever since your mother died. I couldn't control it i had to drink for me to stay calm and me getting out my feelings towards you was the only way I could stay calm. Yes I know what i've done was wrong very wrong. I know how your feeling about me...hatred...I am too don't worry I hate myself because I treat my daughter like shit. And yesterday when you gave me that hug I felt hatred and that hatred snapped me out of it and made me realize what i'm doing to you. Crystal im sorry...deeply sorry…” He started to cry I could feel like he was actually meaning it.

“ For now on im done drinking, im done with this shit that i've done to you, for now i'm ill be good and I’ll promise you that, and last night I went through my pictures with your mom and I and there was a letter saying to be brave and always take care of you at all times and never lose hope. Well I disobeyed her askings. And I mean it with all of my heart i'm truly sorry. But ill be a better father and thats a promise.”

   I look at him and stand up.

“ Sorry doesn't help anything anymore “ and it's true with all the sorrow and pain i've been through it doesn't help. I just leave the table and go upstairs. I get a text saying “ Hey beautiful come to my house I got something for you….Nathan “

I smile and race downstairs out the door. I ran to his house and I turn the corner and I see him with Samantha. I sneak and eavesdrop to what they were doing and saying. I couldn't really hear them but just then Samantha keeps getting closer to him and I see a box in Nathan's hands. Samantha throws the box on the ground and hold his hands. It looked like Nathan did not care. Then something made me wanna scream inside and run and never come back. It made me tear up like I haven't been before. 3 secs they were kissing. I come out of my sneak area and reveal myself with tears in my eyes.

“ CRYSTAL it's not what you think! “ I turn and ran and kept running. I could hear Nathan's keys clagging to each other while he was running after me. I am up a hill and cry a lot. He comes to me and sits next to me and holds me but I jerk away.

“ NO! “ I scream. He holds me where I couldn't let go.

“ SHe tripped me and I accidently kissed her. It wasnt anything I swear I dont mean anything. She means nothing to me not even to my heart.. My whole heart is for you “ He gives me the box. I open it and it was a necklace saying ‘ I love you ‘ I tear up even more and he comes closer to me and kisses me.
“ That was for you “ He kisses me again

“ That was for someone I really love “ he kisses me again.

“ ANd that is for who I think a lot.”  We kissed a little longer and walked down the hill and he was putting the necklace on me. He saw a rock and threw it out on the road and went after it. He turned and looked at me and was standing in the middle of the road. Just then a car speeds down coming towards Nathan. Screeching and driving crazy. I see Nathan go down!

“ NATHAN!!!!!!!”

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