I'm scared, please help!

My name is Julie, and I'm going to give you a sight into my teenage world

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6. Tuesday, June 2nd - 2015

Dear Diary

It's weird how you walk around your entire life thinking you're different, but then you one day read on Wikipedia everything you ever wanted to know about yourself.

I hate that this problem have so much control over me. Every feeling I've ever felt, every tear I've ever cried have an explanation. I knew there was something wrong with me. I just didn't know what it was.

I think that not knowing was better, because before I could at least imagine that it eventually would go away. Now the internet says that if I want all of this to go away, I need therapy.

I don't want therapy.

I don't want to sit and talk with a person that actually don't really care about me.

It's like I can't really be happy anymore. I can still appreciate all the small things like my sisters laughter, reading books and the smell of great food, but it's all just a tiny happy-rush and then it's gone.

I try my best to put up a smile, and I can still do that. It just won't last for more than an hour.

I try to be happy and I try to smile.

I laugh every time I can because I hope that if I just convince myself that I'm happy, maybe one day I'll actually start becoming it.

- Julie

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