Silently Spoken

I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn. - Anne Frank

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4. Friday May 8th 2015


I'm too lazy to stop being lazy.

Pretty chilled today. I woke up at nine, which is early for me on my days off. I usually like to sleep in, but recently mum has been telling me off about it. I guess I get it in a sense, nobody wants to waste their day away and we all need to get something done. However, sometimes I just want to sleep in and not do anything till it’s late in the afternoon.

I cleaned out my wardrobe. I have one of these three door wardrobes with four draws at the bottom, so it’s pretty big. My clothes were falling off the hangers and the clothes that were meant to be folded were scrunched up and turned inside out. I put a whole load of clothes for the wash and believe it or not a percentage of my clothes were actually small for me. I passed those down to one of my sisters. They may be a little baggy for her, but she would grow into them.

Anyway, I had a driving lesson this morning. Lately I feel like my driving hasn’t been going too well. I officially hate roundabouts, and my instructor keeps telling me off about my position on the road. Plus, the clutch control is a pain in the ass. Not to mention I still have to study the Highway Code and do a bit of theory practise so I can take my theory test. Honestly, I just want to be able to drive perfectly and glide through the exams. However, this is reality. It takes hard work to get what you want and I guess I'm going to have to work a little harder on my driving.

By the time I had finished my lesson it was time to pick up my sisters from school. Gem was already back home as mum collected her earlier. Today, I decided to give mum a break from collecting the girls, so I went. It was drizzling with rain as I walked to the school, but I didn’t mind. I secretly love the rain. I love the way it falls on your skin and the feeling of stepping foot into a warm home after being in the rain for ages. I love the smell of stone and rain mixed together, it’s weird, but I still love it. The journey to the school was only a five minute walk away.

On the way back home, one of my sisters, Raven, was walking really slow. I told her to pick up the pace or else it was going to start raining really hard and we were going to get drenched. But instead of doing what she was being told to do, she answered back saying she was too tired. I say answered back, but she snapped like a snake. I wasn’t having any of it; I hate it when anyone answers me back. She may be tired, but she was walking at a turtles pace. Plus she wasn’t the only one walking, I still had my other sister with me and people behind her were starting to mutter things. I just stalked on, and only then did she decide to run to catch up.

That’s the thing with Raven. She has a really big ego, never wants to admit that she is wrong and always refuses to do anything for everyone else. Not to mention she answers back being super defensive. I absolutely hate her attitude and I seriously want her to fix up; for the sake of her future and herself. If she continues like this even when she grows up, no one is going to like her. She will be alone and it pains me to even think that any sister of mine will be hated and alone. Raven just doesn’t understand that and I'm starting to run out of ways to make her understand.

I didn’t do much at home. Just watched TV. I should have really been doing some college work. I still had to fix up my video before I render it out and I knew that was going to take some time. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to do any work. I think it was safe today that today was a lazy day. I also think that I ate too much and I’ll probably put on even more weight. I really need to get going on this weight loss band wagon. It’s coming to the point where I’m really guilty about eating and becoming really depressed about it. I know it’s my own fault, people keep telling me. Now, I’ve got to make it my problem to shed loads of weight.

My eyes were glued to the TV screen for the UK 2015 Election Results. I was keen to know who would get the majority, but was disappointed at the outcome. I don't particularly hate any party, however, I do dislike some of them. I find that hate is a harsh word to use, I only use it when I really full on mean it. Im not going to disclose who I would have liked to be in power, but I would say that this particular party could have worked a whole lot harder in campaigning. My jaw literally dropped when I saw the majority vote in Scotland, and I kind of feel for the other parties that lost. Lib Dems almost lost all their seats, Labour lost quite a bit and other smaller parties such as UKip and Green Party did not do as well. Loads of Party leaders resigned, one of them being Ed Miliband. Again, that was a shock to me. Well, all is done... time to see what the next five years will turn out to be. I think I may work towards being an MP for my area when I am of age. I want to see what change I can make. 

The best way to see what tomorrow brings is to sleep through the night.

- J.K. Panesar

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