The Walls Have Eyes (Diary)

This is a very, very bad idea


16. May 23rd, 2015


I've been disinclined to write, of late. I've been busy writing something else, on paper, and it takes much of my time and energy. To sum up the highlights of the last few days, a social worker did come by. I didn't get to speak with her in private, but she says that she'll come by some time this week to personally interview all of us.




Five years ago it would have been the worst thing to befall us, I would never even think of doing what I've set my mind to do now... I'm so pathetic and scared and out of options. I'm going to hate myself for this forever. How could things have fallen so far, so fast? And to this?


But what else can I do?

What else can I do?


You know a while ago, I was telling one of my friends about all of this, about how I didn't want social services breaking up my siblings from each other and tearing us apart. And I remember he said, “You know, I think it would be better than what you're currently stuck with.” And I remember I got so mad at him for saying that. I didn't talk to him for months because of it. And now... And now I can't help but think how right he was.


What's happening to me?

Why am I doing this?

And why has it fallen to me?

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