Girl Half Empty

//What an odd thing a diary is: the things you omit are more important than those you put in//
- Simone de Beauvoir
/June winner of the diary competition/


33. // for all I can really do is stand here in September’s rain savouring…//

29th September

Worries: climate change, eating disorders, exams, cancer, auditions, failure, I am falling into a bone trap, disappointment, fossil fuels, extinction, I am playing on my mother’s conscience, ice caps, terrorism, racism, cruelty, I am turning into my dad, internet, suicides, parents, grandparents, introvert, I am losing touch with reality, god, beauty, magazines, expectation, I am hacking away the best bits, power, politicians, perfection, I am tuning into the wrong airwaves, splitting, crashing, nuclear, missing the point

Joys: sunsets, trees, fattened moons, red maple, ballet, family, libraries, streetlights, camp fires, bonfires, candles, mugs, friends, cheese on toast, winter boots, cloudscapes, seascapes, mornings, iPod, old places, pirouettes, shuttered windows, slatted houses, new sheets, pencil sharpenings, words, worlds, granola

I live off memories – parasitic – either making myself with them or burying myself under them

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