Flash diary comp: a year in the making

Apart of the competition for the year long diary. I am a normal teenager with a life different from all the others, read what it's all about.

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1. May 5, 2015 11:30pm

 

This feels so unorthodox, writing my inner thoughts and literally share it to the world. My mind wanders most time and to put things down for it to make total sense to strangers sounds almost impossible. I think it would be highly improper for me not to introduce myself to let me do so!

I am a girl from the United States. I am 14 going on 15 and am close to ending freshman year in high school. I have olive skin and curly dark hair. I am five feet four inches and am at an average weight (trying to loose some)

Today I'm so anxiety ridden this week. My quince is in a month and school is coming to an end which means work load is increasing. It's so backwards for the work load to increase as the school year ends in effort to fit everything in! Finals are coming soon too and it's all just loading on making me nervous as the days pass. There's a math test I have to make up but I am avoiding at as long as possible so I don't have to get a bad grade which I might either way. I think with everything coming down on my I'm slipping back into my old habits of depression. I've been doing to good the past few months with trying to make myself a bit happy and it's worked with my new friends but with the possible sicknesses my mom could have everything is weighing in on me. My mom is talking to a doctor more than her own family now as they're all doing scans and tests to see what's wrong with her. Writing does always make me feel better, writing my problems are like taking them of my shoulders and putting them in a storage unit outside my body which is the home to my vast mind. It's all quite crazy, I just hope I make it through.

Life gets me down sometimes but I do my best do fight against it. Sometimes it's hard though, the struggles I'm facing and the chances I haven't been taking. Adam (this boy who likes me) has been asking endlessly when he is getting an invitation in the mail to my quinces. In the beginning of the year I was not fond of him at all. He was very loud and disruptive, he still is today but I tolerate it now. He never got much work done in class. He was very crude always making very innapropiate jokes but I've learned to let him grow on me and now we're friends. He said today he would wait for the mail everyday till the invite comes which I thought was weird but shows he wants to come. I feel bad and am so conflicted as to what I should do. We are friends and I think having him there would be nice but, should I? I guess I will just have to think about it.

-N

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