Prodigy's Life in Vague, Enigmatic, Slightly Confusing Terms

This diary does not (entirely) reflect my life, but perhaps my sole purpose of living: to have you leave more confused than you came in. Everything within is the truth, if you can manage to decipher it. Viel gluck, meine landeskunde.

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39. Thursday, June 11th.

My dad told me a story once about how he used to stop at McDonald's every day after work, and he'd always get the same girl at the drive through. After a week or two, he figured he saw her every day anyway, so he asked her out. She agreed and they dated a while. It didn't last, but whatever. My point is, I wish I was as brave as he. My parents just think I'm addicted to Dunkin Donuts. XD

 

"'Cause all you really know is what you see

and everybody sees it differently.

I wish someone would open up my heart and look inside of me.

But I'm the only one who holds the key."

-REO Speedwagon 

 

That wasn't very enigmatic of me. I need to up my game.

 

I have an unusually large number of balls of wax which are attempting to imitate bundles of freezing cold crystals. The irony is, the only way in which they are the same is that they both melt. Regardless, they are no longer my problem.

 

An anecdote from today, one of the very many awkward moments on a terribly awkward day:

That moment when your aunt and uncle are visiting and your parents are bragging about you and are all like, "Go get that book you wrote!" (Love to Hate) and then it goes something like
Me: what what book did i write i didn't write a book what are you talking about 
Them: 

Me:

Them:
Me: Fine.
*gets the book*
*Aunt and uncle ooh over it*
Conservative catholic uncle who also happens to be your godfather trying to seep you in faith: What's it about?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: It's um realism sorry i'm bad at explaining things
Them: ok
Me: *sigh of relief*
Aunt: *starts reading the book*
Me: *internally* what no why would you do that what are you doing don't read that
Aunt: *still reading*
Me: stop
Me: stop
Me: oh my god what did i put in the first chapter
Me: i think I swear in the first paragraph
Me: what if they don't know i swear
Me: what if I'm wrong and there was like a makeout scene on the first page
Me: help
Aunt: *looks up at me*
Me: *studiously ignores her* what, oh you're reading? i didn't know that because I'm not looking at you, nope, can't see you, don't even remember you exist ok bye please just swallow me whole, earth, i beg you
Aunt: *puts book down*
Me: oh i can breathe again, thank god
Uncle: *picks book up*
Me: -.-

[Later]

Me: yep okay i'll just take that to my room now, get it out of the way... *tries to sneak off with it*

Uncle: Wait, I want to read it tonight!
Me: wat

Me: are you joking

Me: please be joking

Uncle: *holds out his hand*

Me:

Me:

Me: *hands over book*

Me: yep that's my cue to go to the movies now and not come home 'til one in the morning hope that's okay see ya


 

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