Prodigy's Life in Vague, Enigmatic, Slightly Confusing Terms

This diary does not (entirely) reflect my life, but perhaps my sole purpose of living: to have you leave more confused than you came in. Everything within is the truth, if you can manage to decipher it. Viel gluck, meine landeskunde.


8. Monday, May 11th.

School is pointless and unimportant, so I didn't go. As punishment, it seems a hit has been placed on my head by the Chelicerata. They're everywhere I go, weaving their webs of distraction and trying to catch me unawares. I'm not afraid of them, but they disrupt my peace. It is a beautiful day, but I have been forced inside by their antics. It seems I am under siege. I will prevail. They will not best me. 


My turntable speaker has forced me into karaoke. 


Tomorrow is my first trial. It will be difficult, near impossible, but I had all day to prepare. Did I? Why, of course not. Instead, I ran velvet through my fingers as I listened to the Phantom of the Opera and damaged my hands with foolish errors. 


I ate some red velvet cake today. I still deny that it is the same as chocolate. 

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