Prodigy's Life in Vague, Enigmatic, Slightly Confusing Terms

This diary does not (entirely) reflect my life, but perhaps my sole purpose of living: to have you leave more confused than you came in. Everything within is the truth, if you can manage to decipher it. Viel gluck, meine landeskunde.

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8. Monday, May 11th.

School is pointless and unimportant, so I didn't go. As punishment, it seems a hit has been placed on my head by the Chelicerata. They're everywhere I go, weaving their webs of distraction and trying to catch me unawares. I'm not afraid of them, but they disrupt my peace. It is a beautiful day, but I have been forced inside by their antics. It seems I am under siege. I will prevail. They will not best me. 

 

My turntable speaker has forced me into karaoke. 

 

Tomorrow is my first trial. It will be difficult, near impossible, but I had all day to prepare. Did I? Why, of course not. Instead, I ran velvet through my fingers as I listened to the Phantom of the Opera and damaged my hands with foolish errors. 

 

I ate some red velvet cake today. I still deny that it is the same as chocolate. 

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