It's Today?! - The Story of My Life

Who knows maybe with the incentive, I may keep this diary, and not just as a collections of rants, and updates ever time I get ill. I mean seriously, two entries in three years? Both saying "I'm sick"?

For the diary comp. Winner of May.


4. The mystery of the missing grandmother 10-5-15

 So the last few days have been hectic. My grandmother went into hospital, nearly giving us a heart attack. Her husband called us, saying he'd gone out to get some medicine for her, and returned home to find a note on the kitchen side saying "called 111, gone to hospital" and that was it. Her car was still parked outside.

Now she doesn't have a mobile that works or is ever on her, so our only chance of finding her was to call round the hospitals. Luckily, we know them quite well, and so our first bet just happened to be the right place. The pros of illness and a medical professional huh? Talking about medical professions, does anyone else suffer from an inherited medical degree if a member of their close family is a doctor or whatever? The amount of questions I've had on things I know next to nothing about... I mean sure, words like immunoglobulin have been a large part of my vocabulary from the age of three, and I know how to use steri strips, but if you come to me with a rash, the most I can do is press a glass against it and tell you to see a doctor. I do remember once, when I was a kid, some guy asked me what bone his Achilles' tendon was...
My grandmother got out of hospital today though, so that was good.
My father has returned home for the weekend, so that's nice, and my younger sister has gone camping.

Unrelated, does anyone else ever get surprised when people find you funny? I mean, I set out every day to make as many clever, witty jokes and remarks as I can, but they never generally go to plan. It's like telling that good old knock knock joke, the one that goes.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cabbage who?
Cabbage in its cold out here... Wait what?

You just know that the people are not laughing with you any longer. Then again, it's a good way to make a bad joke funnier than if it were a good joke. By the way, in case you've never heard it, the original answer was lettuce, not cabbage... 
I remember once, I literally had a guy rolling on the floor laughing. I will never get over the sight, and not, I think, ever truly understand why either. I'd been reciting jokes from various comedians, and mixing them up, and I didn't think it was that funny. We'd been laughing and taking the mick, but surely nothing is so funny you end up on the floor.
Except maybe my sister's jokes. She likes to play on words and spelling, the only issue is, she severely dyslexic and cannot read or write, let alone spell.

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