My life in textual form

This is just a diary, I'll update whenever I can.


3. Day 4 (A little late)


Before I even start: my day was pretty shit to be honest, so expect a pretty gloomy entry.

So I got up this morning and decided to look at the election result. Then I decided I should go back to sleep and wake up when the nightmare was over. Sadly, the results were not figments of my over-active imagination and the conservatives did indeed win.

This is a pretty depressing result for a few reasons, the first being that we have re-elected the party we've been complaining about for the past five years. Also, I'm a fan of the NHS and it seems they're determined to privatise/ruin it. For my mum this is a big issue as she works for the NHS so who knows what's going to happen? There are many other reasons why I thought "oh fuck" when I checked the results but I don't want to bore you with my (admittedly very biased) opinions and complaints about this party.

Yeah, a pretty shit start.

I'm also still ill, which does not improve my mood. I was well enough to go to school today, but by the end of the day I realised that I would have rather been ill.

First, I forgot to pack my lunch so I had to go hungry today. It's not too big a deal but again, it just added to my negative mood. So by the time our first lesson started I was resigned to a miserable time of it.

It was during this lesson I realised I had left my English homework (which I had done despite being ill) at home. Unfortunately, there was no way of getting it without being about half an hour late to English so I had no choice but to accept the negative comment.

Just to give you some background here, I have been in my current school for almost five years and I have NEVER HAD A NEGATIVE COMMENT. My target for my school career was to keep a 'clean slate' every week and I managed it...until that English lesson. I had ruined my perfect record, in front of everyone. I had to walk up with everyone else staring at me to accept the comment.

I don't think  I ever understood the meaning of staring until that moment. And to make it worse my "friend" (UKIP supporter, racist, homophobic, ignorant, naive) had the most smug grin plastered on his face.

Let me explain:

This "friend" is the kind of person who believes he is right about everything and that he is better than everyone else at everything. He effectively declared himself my rival at the beginning of year 10 and has been trying to find ways to prove he is better than me ever since.

Now, I don't like to brag or say anyone is better than anyone else but...the hard facts are certainly in my favour. Since year 10, he has beaten me in one test by a single mark when I was ill. In every other test I have beaten him by a reasonable margin. I have no idea how many tests we've done but it is a lot.

He is still certain that he is better than me.

Anyway, by break time I was thoroughly down.

Then we had double history, I wrote a series of rhyming couplets as a revision technique and my teacher said she wanted to photocopy it because it was so good...I had to politely explain I had been drawing anti-conservative propaganda on the same page...not awkward at all...

Then it was my last PE lesson ever.

My team lost every game without scoring a single basket.

The best thing that happened all day came at the end of school, when my mum brought in my English homework (she's the best) and my negative comment was removed.

It was raining all day pretty much, so that was pretty annoying

Also, I've been trying not to bring it up in this diary, but I really miss Delly. She hasn't spoken to me personally for over a week and I'm getting worried. (This next bit is really soppy and stuff...just a warning) I miss hearing her voice (with that beautiful accent) and her laugh and seeing her smile and just generally her. Every time my phone vibrates I'm wishing it will be her, even when I know it's like 3AM or something where she is.

Okay, lame lonely boy/girlfriend bit done.

I know diaries are supposed to be for yourself but I know other people are reading this so Ii'll just explain for people who don't know about May. I'm bigender. This can mean different things for different people but in my case, it means I switch between being a guy and a girl (mentally, not biologically...that'd be...impossible?). To make it clear, this has no impact on my sexuality (i.e. whether I'm a guy or a girl I still like girls (specifically Delly)). I basically act and think differently when I'm a girl and call myself May. 

Anyway...that's about it.

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