A Socially Anxious Adventure

I don't want to talk to you. I'm scared of you. Please, leave me alone.

A log of diary entries of someone who's socially anxious.

Meet the author, who is to be called Nicki, as she tells you of her life!

//based on a true story


4. June the 7th of the Year 2015

So I haven't updated this in a month because I'm terrible at remembering.

I haven't been writing recently because I haven't been in the mood to write. I am finally back in that mood to write and I am trying to outline a story I have been trying to write. It's actually up in this site right now. But my rewriting it is going to be totally different.

I still need to figure out how to create an outline because I don't really know how to create one.

I would love to hear from all of you guys out there, just to get some ideas to figure out what works for me. I'm just totally used to playing it by ear and all. I usually just let the story take me to where it wants to take me. But this story I want to take more seriously because it's my first original novel and it's over a serious topic, something that gets out there how some people in this world is, including me, that usually gets looked over as something not as serious.

If you haven't guessed yet, it's over social anxiety. There could be people out there who would be like "Oh, they're just shy, is all." when it isn't being shy, it's way more than being shy.

Social anxiety really impacts my ability to get a job because I get so nervous I say the wrong thing and then I panic over it and feel so stupid and think that they would think I'm stupid for saying something stupid.

My parents don't really understand how hard it is for me to talk to people. I've told them that I have a hard time talking to people and making friends, but they don't realize that when I am really nervous and anxious for a job interview, I'm thinking, "They're going to look at me and decide that I'm not fit for this job because I'm stupid and find someone else." And then I never land the job.

It's hard to not be honest on those stupid assessments.Yes, I am emotional, I can't help that and you will never understand how that effects me until you have experienced it for yourself. But I say no just to try to get the job.

Job hunting is stupid. Give me a darn job already! JEEZ!

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