Family Guy: Road to Atlantis

When Meg gets lost out to sea, Stewie and Brian go to rescue her. Meanwhile, Peter and Joe are face disaster after they cheat on Lois and Bonnie...

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5. Wives to be Rescued

Peter and Joe had been rowing their speedboat for quite a while. Or to be more precise, Joe has, but after five miles, Peter gave up and did nothing but rest and drink seawater. They had to row their boat because the speedboat had run out of fuel.
   "You know, Peter, it's not a pretty sight that I'm doing all the work and you're sitting on your fat ass and drinking seawater for five days!" shouted Joe at the top of his lungs.
   "Well, this is the sort of thing that disabled people can do, if not gym work!" protested Peter.
   Then they saw a giant tidal wave coming. Peter grabbed the oars and helped Joe to go faster, but the tidal wave caught up to them in seconds!


"Oh," groaned Peter. He got up and couldn't see where he was, because his eye vision was blurry.
   "Here you go, Peter," Peter heard the voice of Joe. Then he felt something being put on his face. He could see now with his glasses on. He could see Joe... standing up! "Joe, how can you be standing up straight?" he asked.
   "Well, Peter, that tidal wave that overtook us and you were floating on the surface and I hid the rocks with my legs. Then this morning we woke up and I found that I CAN WALK AGAIN!" Joe was running wildly and happily.
   Peter looked at where he was and all he knew about it was that it was something he had never been to in his life. "Well, where are we?"
   "I'd say we're in the north region of New Zealand," Joe thought, surveying the scenery.
   "You mean, where they filmed The Lord of the Rings?" Peter asked excitedly.
   "Yeah, but don't get any ideas, Peter," Joe said. "We're here to save our marriages, not go looking for movie locations."
   "Are you kidding? They'll probably be making The Hobbit here!"
   "COME ON, PETER!"
   “All right,” sobbed Peter as he followed after him.


They rented a car. Joe was driving and Peter was supposed to be on the look-out for the wives, but he recognized where the Shire was and Morder and Helm's Deep and all the Lord of the Rings places.
   They went from the North region to the South region, but had no success.
   "Oh, Peter, it's hopeless!" Joe sighed, as he and Peter sat in a cafe in the town of Manapouri. "We searched everywhere and everything and asked everyone but we can't find our lost loves! And all you've done is taken pictures of the locations of The Lord of the Rings!"
   "Hey, I've finished taking the pictures," protested Peter, looking at the pictures. "Man, I can't believe I've taken pictures of everything. Except the Dead Marshes where Frodo, Sam and Gollum travelled."
   "Wait a minute, Peter!" Joe thought for a minute. "Why couldn't I think off it before? They must be exploring in the Kepler Mire nearby."
   "You couldn't have thought of it because it's too dangerous," thought Peter.
   "Come on, let's go and save Bonnie and Lois!" Joe got up and ran to the car. Peter followed. "This is going to be the bravest thing we've ever done, much better than the time I had to follow that criminal drug lord in Spain!"
   Years ago, Joe, in his wheelchair, was chasing the drug lord down the alley streets of Spain.     He got him cornered, but the drug lord saw a black gate to climb up so Joe shot him in both legs.
   The criminal fell down and screaming happily. "I may have lost my legs, but I still feel alive."
   "I envy you!" Joe sighed.


Peter was right. Lois and Bonnie were walking in the Kepler Mire.
   "Ah, this may be mucky, but it smells better than cleaning my septic tank back home," giggled Lois.
   "Same with mine," added Bonnie. "Why did we come here again, Lois?"
   "Because here we could live here and not be taken advantage of," Lois explained.
   "Our husbands treat us like slaves and kiss Asian prostitutes like we mean nothing. Well, I'd be very surprised if they searched the whole world for – "
   Then Lois felt like she was going down. She was sinking in the marshes! She tried to stay still and calm, but all that happened was she would sink and sink and sink.
  "Lois, grab my hand!" Bonnie called, reaching her hand. Lois tried to reach it and she caught it, but instead of Bonnie pulling her up, she pulled her in! Now she caught up with Lois in the sinking business.
   "I'm sorry, Bonnie," sighed Lois. "Not just for pulling you in here, but the whole running away idea."
   "It was my idea, Lois," Bonnie said. "But I'm beginning to regret it just like you."
   "I never thought I'd die with my best friend." The women smiled, embraced and... kissed! They all went down under the sinking mud.
   But they didn't die too quickly. They were alive and they could see they were underwater and saw ghostly figures just like in The Lord of the Rings.
   The figures grabbed them and pulled on scary faces! Then they let go and they vanished, because the wives were pulled up out of the marshes! They were put on the solid ground next to Joe in his wheelchair.
   "JOE!" Bonnie ran to her crippled husband and kissed her.
   Lois saw the Petercopter landing and out came -
   "PETER! How did you rescue us?" asked Lois, hugging her fat husband.
   Joe told the girls the story from what they did and how it was the most regretted thing they ever did, even more than the time they gave Captain Caveman a body shave, and how they came to New Zealand and how Joe could walk again and how they thought Lois and Bonnie came here. Then they stole an emergency truck, while the drivers were taking a coffee break, then they found their wives sinking in mud and... kissing!
   The wives chuckled nervously.
   "Oh, well, we saw you coming, but we thought you might be too late, so we gave each other the kiss of life," was Lois's answer to that question, winking at Bonnie.
   As he continued the story, Joe headed down, while Peter grabbed the strong rope and the rope of spaghetti rope. Unfortunately, Joe fell down from the hill and the rocks re-crippled him, but he crawled forward to where the girls were sinking. Peter threw the rope to Joe and then Joe threw it to them. Luckily, the rope didn't sink and they were able to pull the girls out.
   Then something metal attached to the some spaghetti rope was dropped in and picked up their wives and that was the whole story.
   Then they heard a screech. They looked up in the sky to see the Marsh Rescue Guard was scouting the area with a Nazgul fell beast. "There!" he pointed.
   The two husbands and wives hid under a big rock as the Rescue Guard saw the van Peter and Joe took. The beast picked it up with its claws and flew off.
   "Oh, Joe, I'm sorry," Bonnie sighed. "It's my fault you got crippled again. I shouldn't have run off."
   "No, it's my fault," interrupted Joe, holding her hand. "Besides, crippling my legs to find you was with it." And they happily kissed again.
   "I'm sorry, Lois," sighed Peter. "I get carried away."
   "Well, you searched all of New Zealand for me, that's all that matters," Lois said, kissing him. "Maybe we should've done something like this on the day you tried to prove to daddy how much you love me."


Years ago at the Pewterschmidts mansion, when he asked for his approve to marry Lois, Carter stood Peter in the corner with her.
   "All right, Peter, you got to show me how much you really love Lois," he told him. "Go on, prove it!"
   Peter just kissed her on the cheek.
   "I'm not impressed!"
   Peter gave her a quick kiss.
   "I'm not convinced!"
   Peter gave Lois a much longer kiss on her lips.
   "Is that all you got?"
   Peter pushed Lois to the floor and kissed her like they were having sex. Carter broke them up. "What are you trying to do, rape her?"
   "What?" Peter was shocked.
   "Ah, I'm just kidding," chuckled Carter. "You proved your love for her. Go on and marry her!"

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