Tormented by the loss of his wife, Joshua Murphy, an investigative journalist, must continue on regardless. But when she stops bringing up the past but starts helping in the present Joshua must come to terms with what is really going on.


1. Prologue

“Did you know?” Her voice like velvet. He could feel it but he refused to answer. He did not want to answer her again. “Joshua, please. Did you know?”

“Know what?” He broke his own promise. He had kept his composure up until that point but he coughed a tear. He felt her hand brush it away in the dark. A phantom caress.

“You know,” she spoke intimately; he knew she was nibbling on something though not able to see it. Then an image: her in a different place. A memory. The sun was behind her, her face awash in the sunset hue. The crashing waves and the breakwater impacting on the seawall sprayed saltwater behind her illuminated in the fading orange sunlight. Her face lowered but smiling, cowering from the salt-spray. One hand to her face. A fingertip in her mouth. Nibbling. She was always nibbling on something. She rose her head; biting her lip and forefinger and a flash of her eyes. Even in the glow of the sun and the spray those crystal blue eyes illume everything around her.

The memory is lost to the darkness.

“Did you know?” Again her words come relentlessly. There is no point fighting anymore.

“Know what!?” He coughed as emotion now boiled over as he curled up foetal on his bed.

“That you didn’t love me.”

“No, no, I did!” He squirmed knowing where it was going. “We were… different, for a while. That’s all. I never stopped-”

“Oh darling,” she said in that tone he knew all too well. “Darling, don’t be silly. Stop crying. If you truly loved me, at the end, like you claim you did then you wouldn't have fucked her now would you?”

His silence damning.

“But, did you know?” She said again, relentlessly. “You must have known.”

“Know what? What now Olivia? What!?” Fist clenched, familiar. Another memory forming from out the darkness but he forced it away.

“What I would do if I ever found out?” With that said he knew she was gone, but her scent lingered. It was in his hair, on his sheets, in the air that he breathed. In his lungs. She didn't need to hear the answer. It was not about the answer really. The question was enough, for they both knew.

“Yes…” He said dryly as he sank back down to his pillow. His head spinning and exhausted. His body ached as he wretched and heaved until the sun broke through the bedroom window and landed uncaring on the dark suit that lay folded over the desk chair in the corner. Today was the day.

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