Circles And Lines

A variety of poems based on topics such as depression, anorexia, bulimia, anxiety and other forms of eating disorders and mental illness.
**contains triggering topics. Please read with awareness**
[Wonderful cover by Cerise]


1. Circles And Lines


Marcus wished that when he was little,

someone would have told him

all about depression.

But no one did because,

it would scare him wouldn't it?


Eleanor and Marcus were friends,

ever since they were two.

Eleanor didn't have a Mummy.

But Marcus didn't have a Dad.

So they both wished for two parents together.


Eleanor was happy when she was little.

She was pretty too.

Her favourite colour was white.

Her hands were so small, but her eyes were so



When Eleanor was older,

she didn't seem as smiley.

Marcus always asked her to

go and play around his,

or hers,

But she always said




was Eleanor's favourite word.

Sometimes, when she didn't

like speaking,

she would just shake

her head and her hair would

whizz around like a brown halo.


Eleanor didn't wear dresses like

the other girls.

Instead she wore

Long tops and jumpers that

disguised her figure and arms.


Marcus never saw her hands anymore,

and he always wondered

were they still small?


When a heat wave pounced on them,

like a cat,

Eleanor could not wear a jumper.

That's when Marcus saw the

violet circles and all the

thin and thick lines

coloured scarlet.


She cried when he asked

what were they?

She said that they were for her.

A reminder.

She said she was yet to win the war.

But Marcus could see no guns.


Then Eleanor didn't go to school.

She did not say 


or message on her phone.

So he decided to visit

her house and ask

what was going on.


She said that she hated

her face and her


and everything she ever did.

She said that she wished

she wasn't breathing

because that would be less painful.


He asked why she felt

all of this

and she said because

she hates herself and the world

but she would never hate him.

Then, as he was leaving, she whispered

"sorry" as the door closed.

But what was she sorry for?


Eleanor's Dad called Marcus

two days afterwards.

It turns out that Eleanor

had hated breathing so much,

she decided to quit

once and for all.


He visited her house again

and saw her,

lying so still,

so quietly,

as white as a ghost.

Well, he thought,

she is one isn't she?


One pill was still in between her


There were wine stains on her

long sleeved top.

He wished and wished

and wished

that she never did this.


Marcus didn't like

smiling after that.

His favourite word was


He wore long jumpers but

he didn't have any red lines.


The doctor said he was just

mimicking Eleanor and he didn't

have depression.

But, secretly, he wanted to.

Just so he could be with



Marcus wished when he was little,

 someone would have told him

all about depression.

Because he wasn't scared of it.

Or anyone with it.

He was scared of not knowing

anything at all because

maybe, if he had,

then Eleanor would be

with her feet

on the ground

and not flying with her heels

brushing the clouds.





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