As Long As You Stay


For the last 2 years, I've battled 8 different mental disorders, and am currently in recovery. I know this isn't fanfic, that's still to come. I just felt that a lot of you can relate to this, and it may help some of you through tough times.

stay strong lovelies��


3. Ana, Mia, Deb and Sue. Cat, Nessie and Nina too




Ana sits beside you

Watching you eat

Wide eyed, you're petrified

You know you've wen beat

She pushes away your plate

Further and further away

She whispers 'you're not hungry'

And you fast another day

She makes skinny girls look pretty

And bony girls better still

What she forgets to mention, though

Is what you're doing kills

If you gain she gets mad

And makes you starve and run

And if you refuse to do so,

She points you towards the gun

Ana used to be a friend

Seeming beautiful and sweet

But now I know she's killing me

By not allowing me to eat




Mia says 'you're fat'

You lose the will to eat

You think you need to starve

So Prince Charming can sweep you off your feet

Mia says 'too skinny'

You eat and eat some more

You think you need to gain

To be accepted more and more

Mia says no too much

You stop to eat again

You fast and fast and fast some more

Skip breakfast dinner and lunch

Mia says eat more

You start to gain again

You put on pounds, 10 by 10

You're getting 'fat' again

Mia isn't right

You aren't 'too this' or 'too that'

You're perfect the way you are

Mia should know that




Deb is a deep dark secret

Hidden by lock and key

Eating away at your insides

Until you're hollow as can be

You empty out until you feel

Not emotion at all

You begin to feel you're caving in

Becoming smaller then small

She waits until you're hollow

You have nothing left

Then se leaves you lying there

Waiting on your death

Deb looks pretty, coaxes you

With promises of no more worries

She draws you in with a promise of

No more being sorries

What deb forgets to mention

Is she takes everything you are

Leaving you empty, hollow, bare

Like a fallen star


(Suicidal thoughts)


Sue picks up the pieces

Holding on to you tight

Whispers 'come with me'

And promises to make things right

She hands you pills, blades and guns

Helps you tie a rope

Coaxes you up onto the chair

Doesn't let you say 'nope'

She makes you feel like there's nothing left

Nobody left to love

She tells you 'go, fly up high

Like a beautiful pure white dove'

She doesn't tell you, though

That once you take her hand

There's nothing you can do to leave

She doesn't understand

She paints a pretty picture

Of death as a perfect life

She hands you all the tools you need

And to your throat she puts the knife


(Self harm (cutting))


Cat is a clingy thing

Doesn't want to let go

Promises to help you cope

Promises to help stop the flow

Of tears and emotion pouring out

Of your eyes and mouth

She hands you blades, more and more

And to your wrist without a doubt

She draws pretty pictures with these blades

Drawing on your skin

Making all the pain go away

Make you feel you can win

She makes you need her more

Makes you think she's vital

To survive, to win this game

She doesn't mention she's also fatal

Cat can kill, cat can win

Cat will take over your brain

When you die, when you finish

Cat will win the game


(EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified))


Nessie is faceless

Never the same

She makes you different

Like it's a game

She confuses your brain

Changes your meals

Makes them fatty

Like food for wounds heals

Nessie swaps your food around

Making them calorie free

Says 'don't eat, save the money

Go on a shopping spree'

Nessie has no particular strategy

She makes it very clear

She decides how you eat

Whenever she is near

Nessie is different, from you to me

She has different ways

She sends your mind, your heart, your stomach

Into an unstoppable craze




'He doesn't like you' nina whispers

'Shes not your friend'

She decides what is and what isn't

Scares you and says 'it's the end'

Nina whispers anything she likes

True or utter lies

Until one day you're not sure

Which is true and which is lies

Nina decides when and where

Who and what and why and how

Nina says, nina decides

Nobody else can know

Nina is difficult to see

She's a voice inside your head

Painting a picture with her words

Saying 'you'll end up dead'

You never know what Nina will say next

You never know what's wrong and right

Nina says, nina says

You'll never see light

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