Almost holding hands

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Extracts from a book I'll never publish.
Just paragraphs in no specific order. Always a different love story.

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45. Trusting you. //to edit

 

 

 

 

Do you know that feeling you get when someone doesn't hold their promise? That arching feeling covering your heart? It doesn't feel like you are surprised. It feeels more like dissapointment? And that that persons lost a little of his shining armor? Because you thought he would give you the world, but all you've got is dust?

Maybe, I don't know, he promised you a good long walk in the city, or maybe he promised to let you sleep on his side of bed? Or maybe, just maybe, he promised you the moon, the sun and the stars in between?

Do you know that excrutiating pain on your small chest, giving you goosebumps all over your spine and the urge to yell? Or to cry? To pour your soul out? To just lay there, with your big eyes, wondering why. Or what have you done wrong? Or why would he lie? And most important why you'd believe him?

 

Insideof you, you knew. Deep inside you, you knew it won't happen. You knew you were gonna get hurt.But still, you denied that thought. You denied not believing in his words. Because words are important for you. And just because you dont lie and dont make promises in vain, you expect others to do the same. But the problem is they don't. And youre the one who gets hurt. You're the one getting hurt. Because it doesnt affect him, you know? For him, its like a normal thing Lying is a normal thing for him. 

Andd then you start wondering if you should still hand out around him. If you should let your heart continue trusting him, believing him, loving him. 

And since you start wondering that, I believe we both, you and I, dear reader, know the answer. 

Don't you agree?

 

 

 

Do you know that feeling you get when someone doesn't hold their promise? That arching feeling covering your heart? It doesn't feel like you are surprised. It feeels more like dissapointment? And that that persons lost a little of his shining armor? Because you thought he would give you the world, but all you've got is dust?

Maybe, I don't know, he promised you a good long walk in the city, or maybe he promised to let you sleep on his side of bed? Or maybe, just maybe, he promised you the moon, the sun and the stars in between?

Do you know that excrutiating pain on your small chest, giving you goosebumps all over your spine and the urge to yell? Or to cry? To pour your soul out? To just lay there, with your big eyes, wondering why. Or what have you done wrong? Or why would he lie? And most important why you'd believe him?

 

Insideof you, you knew. Deep inside you, you knew it won't happen. You knew you were gonna get hurt.But still, you denied that thought. You denied not believing in his words. Because words are important for you. And just because you dont lie and dont make promises in vain, you expect others to do the same. But the problem is they don't. And youre the one who gets hurt. You're the one getting hurt. Because it doesnt affect him, you know? For him, its like a normal thing Lying is a normal thing for him. 

Andd then you start wondering if you should still hand out around him. If you should let your heart continue trusting him, believing him, loving him. 

And since you start wondering that, I believe we both, you and I, dear reader, know the answer. 

Don't you agree?

 
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