what if

I have this fear in the back of my mind every time I open the doors that lead to the outside when I let my dog in and out.

1. What if

The dog is calling me to let him inside

for almost ten years I've been part of his life

from the day he was born, a day I can never forget

to the day my other dog died and left

then there's the day that a cat came into my life 

and the day that I knew he loved me with pride

the dog and the cat were very close friends 

forever until the very end

the cat left one Wednesday and didn't come back 

after one week it was a fact

I broke down crying the moment I heard this 

I wonder if I'll ever completely get over it

I get upset and laugh maniacally

I get upset and cry sadly

I think I hear my dad call the cat

instead it isn't anything of that 

I again start to cry for my lost cat

my dad says we should get a new cat

Still when I close the door to let the dog come in 

I can't help thinking what if

what if my dog is trying to let my old cat inside

what if I don't see him and he starts to die

what if he thinks I've left him behind 

and what if this makes me crazy in time

But I'm strong and ignore these thoughts

 I slowly begin to walk

I go to an old wood stove in the corner of our kitchen

and find a slim, maturing kitten

I look at her and smile with tears trying to escape 

But I remember that cookie the kitten will never want to go away







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