People: A Guide to Socialization Civilization

I'm tired. Speech, after speech, nobody listens. It's a waste of voice! So in order to save this voice for more important things than arrogant people who contradict me, here's a little book for them to shove in his/her face.


2. Family 1: Moms (and feminine family members)

Okay, don't get me wrong. Other than my sis, my mom is the person I trust the most within my family. But at the same time, she can be a tidbit... irritating. Hey, I know everything's for my own good... But I've got some ways to deal with her. When she wants you to do schist (yes, schist is an actual thing) just choose a number from this list.

1)Do it the easy way. If it's not that hard a task, just do it! Try as much as possible to do this, and you'll be fine with Mama Bird.

2)Okay, here's one way to plot a revenge and a compromise: do it. BUT, later on, bite it back in her butt. Get her to do something not too bad, but not too pleasing. Like killing a cockroach or cleaning dog poop.

3)Talk. Flatter her out of it. Charm her. Heck, use bribery!

4)Get someone else to do it! Of course, you clearly can't let HER do it, but get someone like your dad, sibling, cousin, uncle... The works. I highly suggest doing someone that you have high influence on. Like, maybe someone younger, or maybe an older sibling that you have the possibility of terrorization (nice having that luxury. I CANNOT terrorize my sis or my head's served to cannibals on a silver platter.). Again, BRIBERY IS KEY.

5)Divert her attention. Tell her something exciting. Why not talk about stories, since this is a creative site? Why not tell them an occurrence at school? Or how about that shopping trip? THAT would probably buy you the whole day.

Okay, enough avoiding tasks. Let's talk about what happens when you and your siblings (other children in your family) argue and Mom needs to break up the fight and choose the just one.

If you don't have this problem, move on!

Your older/younger bro/sis was fighting with you. They have more charm and they've got mad skill (no offense!) and you always wind up the culprit. If this describes you, this is your list.

1)Be honest. Tell everything according to what happened. The best thing is to be professional and keep a straight, regal face on. While your sibling is on and on shouting at you, you'll be the only calm and normal (as normal can be. I don't believe in normality.) one in he situation, leaving your mother to believe you.

2)Since this is your mother (and why this will not appear in the sibling chapter. Spoilers!) then she's gonna take it easy on you. Let a few arguments be your own and accept the not so harsh punishment. Apologize to both your mother and your sibling, full-on. Then, when a REAL problem happens, your mom will believe you, thanks to your honesty.

3)Love. It is an amazing weapon. Here, express your love for your sibling, and in desperate times, to your mother. Once she sees that you truly love your sibling, then she wouldn't see why you would ever do whatever your sibling accused you of.

4)One (like I said, ONE. There's a million more.) reason I love Jesus: his teachings. Bring witnesses. Or, use bribery (always helps) and simply let your other siblings describe everything according to your claim.

5)And bribery comes again. No, I'm not telling you to bribe your mom! That's stupid! Bribe your enemy. Tell them not to tell or you'll do something (trust me, from personal experience, this works even better than a charm)

Okay, guys, let's get dark... Let's say your mom's having problems with dad or something. Heck, let's say she's having personal problems with ANYONE. If you notice, then I've got more stuff for you to do.

1)Ask what's wrong. Remember: it all starts with a simple accusation. You have to check if your hypothesis is correct, or you'll never know if your right or wrong.

2)Sit down and talk. Just like with dealing with any other problem, you need the person with the problem to talk it out to you. Let Mom express every ounce of her heart on this situation to you. WARNING:May contain of many feels or hugs.

3)Now, for the fun part.

Dealing with friendship problems would have to be with dealing with BOTH sides of the story. In this case, it's a little too much of a risk. Take it, if you like. I'd personally go believing Mom. In that case, stump the enemy. What I mean is that you DO talk to them, but in a manner of trapping them in the agony of facing their faults.

Still don't understand? Fine. Let's role play!!!

Me:Hey ___! 'Sup!

___:oh hey Reena! How ya doin'?

Me:oh, I've just got a little problem I need to talk to you 'bout..

___:sure, Ree. Anything!

Me:*bites lip and thinks about how much of a deceiver ___ may or may not be* You see, Mom's sad...

__:oh, (your) Mom...

Me:*gives hard look* okay, but I think it's because you did ___________

And it continues on.

4:Be VERY comforting. I'm feminine, so I definitely know that in times like these, a girl can get REALLY insecure and have ten more tons of trust issues than they already have. Be Mom's safe haven. Be her hearth. Heck, do EVERYTHING in your power to get her mind off everything.

5)Be natural. You definitely do NOT want to expand the problem, and include a million others. Just stay calm, and this little hubris will be overwith.

Need more scenarios? Got a problem not on here? Well?! ASK!!

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