Peter and Brian in 'Baking A Murder'

In West Wallaby Street, bakeries are closing due to a cereal killer killing all the bakers. Top Bun, owned by Wallace (Peter Griffin) and Gromit (Brian Griffin), are doing very well. That is until they meet bread lover Piella Bakewell (Angela) and Fluffles (Jillian)...


3. This Cannot Be Happening To Me

It would have been better for Gromit not to have Wallace in the kitchen than have him in the kitchen if he was going to stay in the kitchen looking at the Piella Bkaewell face he made out of dough, instead of helping him.
   "Have you ever met the girl of your dreams before, Gromit?" Wallace asked.
   "Don't ask me!" Gromit yelled.
   Gromit remembered the time he met a Scottish collie dog he was dating at Dogwarts University. Her name was Judy and she and he were happy, until one day a bull-dog wrestler called Kevin who wrestled bulls beat Gromit up and stole her from him. Ever since then, Gromit decided to stay away from dating.
   Then the doorbell rang. Wallace went to answer it. It was Piella and Fluffles.
   "We were just walking by and we saw your bakery," said Piella. "We need manly company, don't we, Fluffles?"
   "What? Oh, yes. Please, join us, Mr. Wallace," begged Fluffles.
   "You can manage without me, can't you, buddy?" called Wallace, as he shut the door.
   "I can, you brainless shithead!" whispered Gromit under his breath.


But Gromit didn't know it was the beginning. For the next two months, he would have to make the bread, check they didn’t burn to a crisp in the oven and make the deliveries all by himself. The only company he had was a headache and tiredness.
   Of course, Wallace couldn't see this at all. He was so busy with Piella, taking her to see the latest movie Sex and the City: The Lost Condom, taking her to see the best restaurants, like Pizza Hutt and MacDonald's, and taking her to hear the romantic concerts once every two nights. They would play the songs later and so loudly that Gromit couldn't sleep very well.
   "Oh, God, I feel like Blackadder serving that stupid Prince Regent!" he muttered.


It's true! In Regency England, the prat Prince Regent was very brainless and Blackadder, his butler, would have to be both brain and brawn for him. An example happened one day, when the Prince was lying on a sofa reading and then he began to sneeze.
   "Oh, Blackadder! Blackaddder!" the Prince cried.
   Blackadder rushed in. "Yes, your highness?"
   "I'm a little bit cold," the Prince told him. "Could you pull my sock down a bit?"
   "I think you mean up a bit," Blackadder corrected him.
   "Whatever! Just do it, will you?" Blackadder did so. "And get this place dusted, will you? I'm sneezing!" added the Prince.
   "Whatever you say, sir," replied Blackadder, ringing the bell. "Baldrick!"
   Baldrick entered with the feather duster. "Yes, Mr. Blackadder?"
   "Give this place a dust."
   "Right away."
   But, as Baldrick started dusting, the Prince was sneezing.
   "Oy! Careful!" the Prince yelled.


Yes, that was how Gromit always felt. But, one day, Gromit felt worse than ever. After delivering bread alone again, Gromit went home and saw that his own gear – like books and CDs and all of his favourites were in the bin! No one even bothered to put his drinking glass into the recycling bin!
   Gromit went into the house and saw it was redecorated with flowers and lovely hearts and all girly things. "What the hell's going on?" he asked.
   He entered the dining room. There he could see the same as the hallway and it was all Piella's work. Wallace, of course, was enjoying it.
   "This is awesome," Wallace cried.
   "It looks like you haven't had a woman's touch for years," Piella said.
   "No," answered Wallace. "And neither has Gromit, have you lad? Not since that bull bog bastard stole your bitch from Dogwarts University."
   "No, and now I'm in a Desperate Housewives home!" yelled an angry Gromit as he shot up to his room. He saw his room was redecorated as well, with all his favourite gear gone!
   "That bitch!" he yelled. "That stupid, ugly, useless, pathetic, evil – "
   A knock on the door help him drain his anger away. He opened the door and he saw Fluffles, holding the cardboard box with all his gear.
   "Thank you," said Gromit.
   "Hide them," Fluffles ordered. "If Piella finds out, she'll only throw them back in again."
   "What's wrong?" asked Gromit.
   "FLUFFLES! Come on! Time to go, I'm afraid!" called Piella.
   "Coming, Miss Piella," cried Fluffles. "Bye."
   Gromit saw that there was something was bothering her.
   Soon Piella Bakewell and Fluffles were on their bike, cycling away from 62 West Wallaby Street. Wallace was very tired.
   "Love may be worth all the trouble, but it still drains all the energy away from you," Wallace told Gromit. Then he noticed a purse.
   "Piella's purse!" he cried. "I must take it back to her house immediately."
   But, as he opened the door, he saw it was raining. "Uh, Gromit?"
   "No way, Wallace! No way whatsoever!" yelled Gromit.
   "Well, here's the choice: either you take Piella's purse back to her house or you can help me with the hovering!"
   He quickly got the hover out himself. It was an automatic hover that hovers everywhere by itself. It was chasing Gromit around the house and the dog's barking could not stop it.
   "All right! All right!” yelled Gromit. “I'll do it! Just get this thing away from me!" And he quickly zoomed out of the house, faster than the speed of love.
   Then the machine broke down.
   "Oh, man!" yelled Wallace. "Mind you, it had got him out of the house."


Gromit arrived at the house of Piella Bakewell. It looked dark and spooky. No wonder she wasn't a famous enough actress who had fans standing outside.
   Gromit began to knock on the door, but it opened by itself. He walked in and heard the telly going on in the lounge. He began to knock on that, but a thunderclap make him turned 90 degrees and he headed up upstairs. He was in his usual curious mood again.
   Gromit was shocked to see some plastic shop dummies with aprons and baker hats on them. "No wonder her purse gets lost!" chuckled Gromit. "She likes her shopping." Then he turned around to find a book. "What's this?" he asked.
   He opened it and, on the one page, there was a picture with Piella with the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. And it was crossed with red pen. He looked at the No. 1 on the dummy. Then he turned the page over and it was Piella Bakewell with Alfredo Linguini and his rat pal, Remy. Gromit looked at No.2 and he saw a dead rat hanging on the wall.
   Through the book, he could find on:
   3. Mickey Murphy (from Camberwick Green)
   4. Private Sod Off Baldrick
   5. The Mos Eisley Bartender
   6. The Chef (from South Park)
   7. Nosey Parker (ex-butler to Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward)
   8. The food mixing machine from Q (James Bond's ally)
   9. Mr. Krabs (from Spongebob Squarepants)
   10. Ninja Turtles' Pizza Palace
   11. Elvis Criddlington (from Pontypandy)
   12. Baker Bob
   13. Wallace!
   Wallace was the only that was not crossed in red and Gromit could not believe. "Oh, my God! Oh, my good God!" he yelled, knocking all the dummies down.
   Down stairs, Piella Bakewell heard something from upstairs. "Fluffles, check it out!" she ordered.
   "Right away, Miss Piella," said Fluffles. She headed upstairs and looked in the room. "I see the dummies neatly sorted out and your murdering schedule!" she called down.
Piella came up and saw that Fluffles was right. Nothing was out of order.
   "In that case, let's get an early night, Fluffles," ordered Piella. "Our baker is nicely cheesed up. Good night, Fluffles."
   "Good night, Miss Piella," said Fluffles back, getting into her own cardboard box.
   High above, on the chandelier, Gromit was hanging on, trying to not to fall asleep. "It was nice of Hiro Nakamura to freeze time to sort this everything out, but why couldn't he teleport me out so I could warm Wallace?"


Later on, Gromit was falling asleep. Then he fell off! He was heading straight for Piella, who turned into the Balrog! And both of them fell through the bedroom into the mines of Moria!
   "You shall not pass!" yelled Gromit. He grabbed a sword and fought the Balrog until they landed in the water pit!
   Then Gromit woke up! "Phew! Thank God it was a dream," he sighed. Then he realised. "Oh, my God. I must warn, Wallace!" He ran out quickly. Then he realised he forgot the book to prove to Wallace, so he grabbed that and ran out.

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