The Diary Of Being Me

I dont know how i feel about my life,
i dont know who my friends are,
i dont know who to trust,
i dont know what to believe in,
i dont know what ive got.
up and down my life roller coaster is going.
its different morning,
but it all depends on the first thing that happens in that day that makes me feel the way i do.


5. Entry 3

Dear Diary,


there is a bit of bad language in this, sorry;


its 2000 and fucking 15 already and its really fricken of scary. i still feel like its just the beginning of 2014, it went so fast.

im starting year 10 this year and its all a bit nerve racking. 

things have been a little bit hard at home at the moment, my brother had to go to hospital last week because he got a massive infection in his throat, and it came up over night. also my mother has been in hospital twice, the first time because she had to have surgery on her skull, because there was a leak of brain fluid through a hole, and the second time because she got a bad reaction to the medication for the pain killers after her surgery. Also, my Biological father had come over for Christmas and new year to seem me, but when he was talking to a friend of his, he started saying all this stuff about  me, thsi is what happened; i was at my dads friends house, my dad was standing up so i layed my head on his back between his shoulder baldes. well he flinched away and stormed out of the back door. i was confused as fuck, so i look at my dads friends and she just shrugged. anyway, when he came back in (about 20mins later) she turned to me and said; "do you remember how i told you i have a bad back, well when you bashed your head on my back it brang tears to my eyes." he then turned to his friend and said to her; "she is still young, and still learning. she is little and does things without thinking first." ...(warning very bad language and ranting ahead in caps)  FIRSTLY I KNOW ABOUT YOUR FUCKING STUPID BACK PROBLEM, SECONDLY; IM NOT A FUCKING KID, IM NOT YOUNG AND I DON'T 'DO THINGS BEFORE I THINK ABOUT IT'. AND THIRDLY I DIDNT BASH MY HEAD ON YOUR BACK I PLACED IT THERE, I LAYED IT THERE, FOR FUCK SAKE!! ABOUT THE SECOND POINT; IM NOT A FUCKING KID, IM GOING TO BE 16 IN LESS THAT A MONTH, LESS THAN A FUCKING MONTH!!! AND I ACTUALLY DO DO THINGS AND I DO THINK BEFORE I DO THEM!!! that is what i wanted to yell at my dad. i hate him sooooo much!!!


anyway, thankyou for listening to me rant and swear, i feel a little better now.... thanks.


ill write again soon.


sweet sweet nightmares,

                                       -Jordyn E.


the thing with my brother, mum and dad, actually happened and was all true, this enrty was all the truth.

Thanks for reading this!!!

like, comment, you know the drill.


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