Faded Lights

I try to feel sad about what my life -or whatever this is called- has become, but nothing happens. I am numb to anything and everything.


4. Chapter Three

I got back in the car as Calum walked out of the station, confused about my task ahead. How was I going to find out what my purpose in life was, when I can’t interact with anyone or anything- minus the whole Luke thing. Calum sat down and pulled out a chocolate milk, my favourite.

“For you buddy.” He said, taking a swing from the container. I sat back and watched out the window as he drove back to the apartment to deliver the news to Michael.

Once Michael found out, he freaked. He wanted to drive straight to the hospital and see me, but Calum wouldn’t allow it. That, my friends, is how I ended up here, on the lounge, watching television. They were watching their favourite show, ‘How I met your Mother’.

Usually they were pissing themselves laughing by this point. But right now? They were staring blank-faced at the TV screen. I don’t even think they were watching it anymore, just off in their own world. I reached out and touched Michael’s shoulder, hoping to comfort him. A bright light shone, temporarily blinding me. What now? Was being half-dead not enough?

I was watching a young Michael learning to ride a bike. His dirty blonde flying through the wind making it stick up every which way.

“Look Mum! I’m doing it, I’m doing it!” His mum clapped and cheered him on as he flew down the path outside their house. I tried to run after him, but then I realised I am rooted into my current position.

Mini Michael turned and started to head back, his smile grew even wider. His mum now had her hands on her heart, her smile warming every inch of me. Suddenly a rush of excitement filled me, soon replaced by sheer terror. The feeling stumped me; I haven’t felt anything for almost 48 hours. I looked back over to Michael, only to find him on the ground under his push bike, crying. Michaels mum ran over while screaming out his name.

“Michael! Mikey! Are okay? Oh god, please be okay!” She pushed the bike off him and looked at his scraped knees. “Oh Mikey dear, you’re going to be fine. Just some scraped knees, nothing to worry about.” He nodded and got up, stumbling to pick up his bike and walk it the rest of the way.

I was jolted out of the imagination and back to reality. “A memory.” I said aloud, knowing no one could hear me. It was one of Michael’s memories! And the feelings I were feeling were his. The warming of the heart when he saw his mum’s smile, the excitement of flying through the air, and of course; the terror of falling off. By touching someone, I saw their memories.

But how come it didn’t work for Calum? I touched his shoulder earlier in the car, he shivered, but I didn’t see or feel anything. Was Calum somehow blocking me from seeing inside his memories? Or was he blocking me from his feelings?


Later that day I decided to go for a walk down my favourite street; Melrose Avenue. It wasn’t anything fancy, it didn’t have playgrounds or parks or anything there. But if you walked the whole way along, even up the giant hill, there was a private lookout point. Not many people knew about it, which is good for me. No-one could be stuffed to make the steep climb, and if they are, the lookout is surrounded by trees.

I reached the top and took the gravel path through the trees. It’s just like in a fairy tale; you walk through some trees and a whole new world is revealed. Only here, it’s not a whole new world, just a getaway at the top of a mountain. I stand on the edge, something I have never done before. I was always scared of falling off, but now. It won’t do anything.

It was late evening by now, twilight as I called it. This was my favourite time to come here. The sun setting over the water; water that could only be seen from this lookout and the city lights were just starting to turn on. It was at this time of day I felt like my life was worth living the most. It’s when I leave, that I don’t know why I even bother anymore.

Time passes slowly when I’m here, as if time itself has made this moment last. But as I look out everything starts to look blurry or faded. The city lights slowly got dimmer and dimmer until I was overcome by blackness.

I awoke in a brightly lit room or emptiness. There was nothing in it, just white walls, floor and ceiling. Above me, I was able to make out a face. It was still fuzzy, but it was clear enough I could tell I had never seen the person before.

“Your name please?” A feminine voice asked politely. The person above me was also female, but not the one who spoke.

“Uh, A-Ashton Irwin.” I heard scribbling noises and some mumbling.

“What is your purpose here?” Not this shit again!

“I don’t f*cking know! How am I supposed to know? I’m dead!”

“You’re not dead, Ashton. Simply in a coma like state. We are the deciders.”

“Deciders? Let me guess, you decide whether I have found my purpose or not?” I stated sarcastically. I would be more polite- no I wouldn’t, why do I bother anymore?

“Well, your close. We decide whether you are worthy of even trying to find your purpose, and then once you’ve found it, whether you’re correct and can awaken into the world again.”

“What do you mean by ‘worthy of even trying’?”

“It means, if you are a person who doesn’t deserve to live and you have just wasted what you have had of your life, you come here.”

“So you’re saying I’m not worthy?”

“Yes, you are not worthy. But, you are destined to do great things. The way you go through life, with alcohol and women, is horrible. But, we have looked at your profile and what would have happened if you weren’t in that accident. It is a great thing, we want you to find your purpose and fulfil the prophesy.”

“This sounds some weird ass wizard shit. Can I just go?”

“Do you understand what we are talking about Sir Ashton?”

“Yes I do. I am destined for great things blah blah, fulfil the prophesy blah blah.”

“Please take this seriously.” I nodded and watched as the blackness started to surround me again. When I was engulfed in it I head a small whisper.

“Ashton, use your new sensors. You can see into people’s memories, their current thoughts and even their aura. Use this. But remember, if you can’t feel or see these things on a person, they are part of your death.” The whisper faded and I was back at my lookout. The city lights were all on now and the sun had fully set.

If I can’t feel or see these things on a person, they are part of your death. Calum. 

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